“What we cannot speak about
we must pass over in silence.”
~ Wittgenstein
There’s so much I find it hard to speak about. More and more I find that there’s so much that is beyond the grasp of my finite human mind. The quest for truth and understanding is deep in me, but especially with Grandma’s Funeral I admit (again!) – we humans are so limited, we need FAITH. Especially in matters we cannot speak about .
A lot of the “whys” and “Hows” are included here: Why die now not last week or last month (we may speculate and imagine – all this is ok!) but still no concrete answer. How is the “I” moving on to God? The Christian Doctrine of Bodily Resurrection baffles me (even though it’s hopeful and unique!) How do we understand the “communion” of the saints in this context when a loved one has just left us? (stuff like this is hard to articulate – we may try with some success but again limited.)
There’s much to be silent about. And the SILENCE can be very Loud! But, as a Christian I don’t have to fear the silence. I can accept it as part and parcel of human existence and adventure. The Silence is humbling …. because as Christians we imitate Jesus’ Humble posture to life. Sad to say, it seems we are known more for our “noise” (at times way out of bounds of appropriateness) rather than our depth of character. Our Silence is also a form of witness … genuine witness to God’s gentle-firm character.
When a God-kind-of Silence is appreciated – a restful kind, the type that’s open to “revelation” (i.e. Truth in Scriptures and in Christ guided by the Spirit). Then our speech would be potent with God’s reality more than our human display of folly.
These few days, I felt that the awarensss of the interplay between silence and speech is crucial. I think of it’s dynamic inside of me – my inner thoughts, feelings and reflections. Then how I interact with people – the conversations, the non-verbal gestures and postures, the listening as well as responding, and so on. then I even took note of how we fit into nature and it’s rhythm. the interplay of sudden rain this morning with the later heat and sunshine. All this is just magnified today. There’s much here that can be spoken about.
FAITH seeking understanding. Accepting SILENCE. Adjusting SPEECH. Learning. Growing. Conversing. Listening. Resting. Waiting….
Standing on “Solid Truth” – we speak with out fear, full of faith (confidence).
Sitting on “tentative” test thoughts – more silence, more listening … still in faith.
Stretching myself … withour breaking into pieces , knowing my limitations and how far I can go … requires wisdom and lots of discernment.
I can go on and on ….
But right now … I just want to Saturate myself with an inner “Solitude” – before God, before His Word, with the Spirit .. once again in humility. I’m grateful for the honor and privilege – so grateful, First to play some part in Grandma’s spiritual journey from her baptism to her memorial/funeral and burial. And secondly, simply because of who I am in Christ -as a follower and pastor, prayerfully to play some part in the spiritual journey of everyone I came into contact with the past few days – especially family and friends.
May God use the interplay of Silence & Speech (plus a bit of the Singing) to fulfill His Kingdom Agenda – i.e. Changed Lives!
