“I talk marriage; they talk weddings!” ~ Robert Farrar Capon
This is one quote that sticks with me forever! Capon is spot on … I’ve already conducted 6 weddings since BLC was re-born. That one day for the wedding can be overwhelming indeed. Whether it’s in the serene island of Langkawi, well-carpeted hotel banquet room or a quiet church sanctuary. The Wedding is part of the marriage but marriage is more than just the wedding … a life-long committed covenant relationship with another human being created in the image of God is no joke!
Today marks 4 years in our “journey” together as husband and wife. May Chin and I tied the knot so to speak on 5 June 1999 after about 10 years of courtship.
I check out wedding album this morning and it was “endutaining” (my invented phrase). There are some interesting ways of looking at anniversaries
Year 1 : Paper Anniversary
Year 2 : Cotton Anniversary
Year 3 : Leather Anniversary
Year 4 : Silk Anniversary
So, we’re into the Silk Anniversary. I found that cute considering we passed the leather (tough) phase *grin*. But, I do like the”Silk” image .. very Chinese, there’s a smoothness about it, a kind of strength as well style in the material, the metaphor just begs imagination! I like it …
We had fun last night sitting across the table at Sri Hartamas SOULED OUT (My in-laws as always taking extra hours to take care of Gareth). The Lamb Shanks – Yummy! The Pasta – yummy (again!) .. Drinks (phew!). Environment (acceptable..) It was like we’re a young couple just dating as if we’ve first “fallen in love” *grin again* Anyway May Chin always looks young. It’s her amazing gift considering now she’s a mother of one – Gareth Kit.
Talked. Listened. Asked questions. Answered questions. Reflected. Giggled a lot. Paused when necessary. Looked around at people. We were just so Thankful!
I’ve been “sobered” a lot the past three years especially in regards to what my young friend calls “Life, love & mysteries”. Not that I’ve lost my excitement for what’s going on here on earth. I’ve witnessed a decent amount of suffering, non-sense, mistakes, hypocrisy, disappointments, etc. in this world .. as well as the wider Christian community (no one is immune) .. there’s is still HOPE. Maybe less “triumphalistic” is the best word I can unearth to describe it. I think that’s why my recent study using Bonheoffer’s “Life Together” touches me so much with his Christian “REALISM”. Through this journey to “REALISM”, May Chin has been a consistent companion – often guarding my heart and guiding my thought processes. I could never be who I am today without her. Her presence in my life is definately part of my life’s equation!
Four final thoughts … after 4 years.
Accepting the whole package in each other just as we are is the right “STARTING POINT”. Our uniqueness in personality, character, personal development, family background, education, vocation (career & calling), friends, moods, values … the whole deal.
Sharpening each other’s rough edges keeps us on track in our maturity as humans. We accept each other as we are … but we won’t stay just as we are … because we won’t anyway … we will change, we might has well be conscious about it, accompany each other and intentionally move to the right direction together!
Having Christ at the center of our marriage – whether we’re in the lows, the highs or just middle (mundane) – is CRUCIAL … for our Commitment and even Creativity in our development as a couple (the Scriptures & the Spirit come in powerfully here).
Christian Community is a non-negotiable for us … it’s a safe place for us to play and to pray. Close friends, spiritual mentors, and skilled counsellors can strengthen marriages and save marriages. Christian Community is God’s gift to us.
Once again … We thank GOD.
Thank You Father, for your love
Thank You Jesus, for your grace
Thank You Spirit , for your fellowship
Amen … Yes!
