Biblical Errors You Should Never Admit To

– Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree.

– Noah’s wife was called Joan of Arc.

– Lot’s wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.

– Samson was a strongman who slayed the Philistines with the ax of the Apostles.

– Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread made without any ingredients.

– The Egyptians were all drowned in the desert. Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the Ten Amendments.

– The First Commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple. The Fifth Commandment is to humor thy father and mother. The Seventh Commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.

– Moses died before he ever reached Canada. Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the Battle of Geritol.

-The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.

– Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others before they do one to you.

-The people who followed the Lord were called the Twelve Decibels.

– The epistles were the wives of the apostles.

– One of the opossums was St. Matthew who was by profession a taximan.

– St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage.

– A Christian should have only one wife. This is called monotony.

From Vineyard’s Cutting Edge Magazine which has helped me tremendously since starting BLC (1997 Spring Issue)

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