Random Thoughts while everyone else is asleep


I was looking through the photos we’ve taken as part of the BLC story-journey. That’s a LOT of photos to look at. Both old style as well as loads and loads of digital stuff. This one on Gareth I think at least 3 years ago is simply awesome. How could I have missed this one 🙂

Time is moving so fast nowadays that it can become “frightening” if I don’t pause and allow some of those “frames” of life to freeze. Looking at the past 6 years brought back lots of memories, some emotions, many insights … little “whispers” here and there.

This exercise of looking through 6 years of pictures – was part of an Awareness Examen exercise I’ve been practising more intentionally the past three weeks. It’s been helpful to have a fresh look at where I took baby steps forward, slipped, took steps back or even fallen flat on my face. This exercise is a conscious choice to sit down and have a greater awareness and understanding of my life script and where it could go from here.

Things are so unpredictable these days .. a “yes” can become a “no”, a “no” might turn into a “yes”, and there’s lots of non-commital moments inbetween. I think I read from Lewis Smedes’ book Caring & Commitment this quote that has stuck in me since, “When a person makes a promise, she reaches out into an unpredictable future and makes one thing predictable: she will be there when even being there costs her more than she wants to pay. With one simple word of promise, a person creates an island of certainty in a sea of uncertainty.””. Watching John Q accidently on TV created some space in me to process this a little bit more.

Googled and found more quotes from Smedes on keeping promises which is rare these days: “Yes, somewhere people still make and keep promises. They choose not to quit when the going gets rough because they promised once to see it through. They stick to lost causes. They hold on to a love grown cold. They stay with people who have become pains in the neck. They still dare to make promises and care enough to keep the promises they make.”

The Nasi Lemak and Chicken today at a nearby stall was better than I expected, so was the Ice Lemon Tea. These are little gifts (yes even though I had to pay for it) that brightens up a rainy night.

Noticed that even though we have different races seated in close proximity with each other there was no interaction. It was more of different races grouped around their respective tables and taking to each other with little contact with the “Other” who was unlike them. I sat alone.

After reading Genesis 1 during our worship practice tonight, I’m reminded again that it was “evening and morning” then it was one day. It’s the evening right now, and the clock is ticking fast (at least steadily) moving towards morning… I’m getting ready to sleep while trusting God is still at work while I rest (in ways I’m not conscious of.)

Sometimes I wonder whether I’ve grown up or am becoming more like a child. Especially after enjoying playing Wiggly Worms with Gareth this morning as well as little things which give me a great sense of joy when I least expect it.

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7 Responses to Random Thoughts while everyone else is asleep

  1. John Frye says:

    Hi, Sivin.
    I enjoyed your rainy night reflections. In my book JESSUS THE PASTOR I wrote, “We live best by promises not by principles and propositions.” I love Smedes’ writings. Speaking of writings, Julie is reading *Wanting More* by Joel Vestal and in the Acknowledgements on p.9, Joel writes, “To Sivin Kit of Kuala Lampur and his help in printing this book…” Cool!

    I’m looking forward to meeting you some day!

  2. Dan Wilt says:


    Rich randoms. Grateful especially for the quote on promises. I’m with you let’s live “in time,” embracing the moments. Your beautiful little one is the gift that reminds you that one day is your eternity. Blessings; keep rising to greatness.


  3. Sivin says:

    Dan, thanks for these affirming words. I’m learning more and more these days not be tied to the past unheathily and appreciating “present” moments making necessary pauses to capture them better.

  4. Sivin says:

    John, I’ve picked up your book again which I first read after about one year of planting the church. Now after 6 years, I’ve found myself drinking from the wells of wisdom you offer.

  5. Leon says:

    ah, babies, my favourite topic in life!

  6. Sivin says:

    Hi Leon, and how fast these babies grow … often without us even noticing it 🙂 we need to slow down and “notice” dont’ we?

  7. Amy says:

    Hi Sivin, i love the first Smedes quote. It hits on something my mom and I were talking about tonight. I was telling her that she was giving too much, that she needed better boundaries in a relationship in which she made a promise. It’s costing her a lot, but this person needs that island of certainty. She opened my eyes to what it means to lay down your life for your friend. The world tells us to protect ourselves, but Jesus didn’t say that. Thanks for sharing the quote and I will be sharing it with my mom.

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