Skip to content

Sivin Kit's Garden

Planting Seeds for a Better World

Menu
  • About
  • Church
  • Disclaimer
  • Education
  • Writing
Menu

Random Thoughts After Wake No.4

Posted on 14 April, 200716 April, 2007 by admin

I listened carefully and with much openness when the husband shared his heart about his dear wife who lay peacefully in the coffin. She had been a strong lady, faithful in all her ways … right to the final days.

It was hard for me to contain myself (but I tried) – what does it mean for a man to say goodbye to his best friend and wife for 38 years? what goes on in the mind when the flood of memories come?

sure, we are told we will meet again. But right now, in this moment … there is a “pause” – a “silence”. When I heard how he wished that they could have another more 38years together … it just broke me. There was nothing packaged in the sharing. God was there listening to his pain. Jesus was there – this was not easy, not easy at all.

There were many people tonight, She had blessed many lives. She was the best shepherd some have experienced. But for that one moment, all that faded for a while .. because what I was hearing was a man who lost his best friend – faithful companion all these years, one who even helped him along the way when he was merely “comfortable” as a Christian to be a “comforting Christian”.

Many songs were sung. Prayers were offered. Hugs given. Words of comfort. And gestures of support. But as I drove back home, the picture of a man who loved his wife so much saying “goodbye” with heartfelt honesty of missing her sticks with me till now. I can’t explain how and why it does. I’m grateful there was a moment for him to express himself – and somehow, I know the gentle Spirit was there somehow moving in him, amongst the family and with us.

The vulnerability was no sign of weakness – no … not at all. It was a sign of strength when one can acknowledge a deep sadness – a genuine sadness of losing one he loved and was loved in return. It’s when we come to this place – and we honor these moments of vulnerability … God’s grace breaks through our hearts which may have been numbed by 101 factors. Oh how we need God’s grace …

There’s no need to hurry to be “okay” … there’s no need to “be strong” by our own efforts – it’s in our weakest moment .. suddenly we realize God’s hand holding us …

I guess, all of us have our own ways of grieving. Very Often we don’t know how. We wonder how should we behave? We maybe told what to feel or how we should feel? But it seems to me … in moments like these … God meets us where ever we are … and it’s REALLY “okay”.

One moment stuck with me tonight. A man’s appreciation of his beloved wife who is now “with the Lord” – the raw feelings and tears he couldn’t contain. The unrehearsed words which captured the special bond they have together.

This is the fourth memorial service I’ve attended lately. Each night when I drive home, surely one moment or two .. sticks with me and it becomes God’s ingredients transformed into food for my soul. Tonight, this was THE moment for me. God was there, God is here …

4 thoughts on “Random Thoughts After Wake No.4”

  1. peiling says:
    14 April, 2007 at 1:13 pm

    i like this post sivin. i know i wouldnt be able to understand and comprehend the depth of a husband’s love for his wife of 38 years.. but i can feel for him. this may not be similar but i woke up this morning with unending tears rolling down my cheeks. i dreamt my mum passed away. in the dream i was so heartbroken because i wished there was so much more i could do for her, and that i should have spent more time with her.

    i cannot imagine your friend’s hurt, despite the comfort and assurance that he would still see her. to now wake next to no one, no one to share your personal things with… like what he’s done for the past 38 years… i cannot imagine. only the Lord can understand and comfort.

    my condolences to your friend.

  2. Passionista says:
    15 April, 2007 at 1:56 pm

    Thanks for being there during this tough time, Sivin. the family appreciates it. I appreciate it.

    peiling, thanks for the kind words. do act on that dream you had.

    My mother left us on Thursday

  3. jeff says:
    16 April, 2007 at 9:34 am

    I think people should be required to attend one funeral every month. Most are so raw and beautiful, they rip through the facade of life we pretend we have and reveal it for what it is: one breath away from meeting your Creator and standing before Him.

    It’s probably odd to say, but I do enjoy me a good funeral.

  4. sivinkit says:
    16 April, 2007 at 9:54 am

    peiling – thank you for sharing.

    Passionista – your mom was an amazing woman and the crowd at the wake showed how many people have been touched by her life. I’m thankful to have had one chance to see her, talk with her, sing with her, and pray with her before she left.

    jeff – i think you captured it well with the two words “raw and beautiful.” This goes against so much in our daily “bombardment” with only the “bold and beautiful” or the “pretense” we choose to live with.

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Recent Posts

  • Moved to Medium
  • The End | The Beginning
  • I Will be Back …
  • It’s Been a While …
  • GE13 Malaysia: Who to Vote for? (A Christian Contribution)

Recent Comments

  • Malaysia: Government Vows to Review Web Censorship Law After Protest · Global Voices on STOP 114A: INTERNET BLACKOUT DAY
  • List of Participants in Internet Blackout Day! « #Stop114A on STOP 114A: INTERNET BLACKOUT DAY
  • Join Us and Support Internet Blackout Day « #Stop114A on STOP 114A: INTERNET BLACKOUT DAY
  • JB on Imagining My PhD Journey
  • Alex Tang on Imagining My PhD Journey

Enter your email address:

Delivered by FeedBurner

CALENDAR

April 2007
M T W T F S S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
30  
« Mar   May »
  • Academics
  • Bangsar Lutheran Church
  • Beyond
  • Bible
  • Blogging
  • Books
  • Christian Year – Lent
  • Church
  • Conversations
  • Emergent/Emerging Churches
  • Events
  • Family
  • Five Sentences
  • Friends in Conversation
  • Fun stuff
  • Gracious Christianity
  • Ideas
  • Images
  • Leadership
  • Learning
  • Lists
  • Lutheran
  • Lutheran Church in Malaysia & Singapore
  • Malaysia
  • Meditation
  • Micah Mandate
  • Mission
  • Movies
  • Music
  • New Stuff
  • Norway
  • Norwegian Notes
  • Personal
  • Philosophy
  • Podcast
  • Preaching
  • Prezi
  • Project 365
  • Random Links
  • Random Thoughts
  • Random Tweets
  • Random Utterances
  • Religion
  • Resources
  • RoH Malaysia
  • Second Thoughts
  • Seven Series
  • Simple Steps
  • Spirituality
  • Technology
  • Theology
  • Travel
  • Uncategorized
  • Video
  • World
  • Worship
  • Writing

Archives

  • November 2020
  • November 2014
  • April 2014
  • February 2014
  • April 2013
  • February 2013
  • January 2013
  • December 2012
  • November 2012
  • October 2012
  • August 2012
  • June 2012
  • April 2012
  • March 2012
  • February 2012
  • January 2012
  • December 2011
  • November 2011
  • October 2011
  • September 2011
  • August 2011
  • July 2011
  • June 2011
  • May 2011
  • April 2011
  • March 2011
  • February 2011
  • January 2011
  • December 2010
  • November 2010
  • October 2010
  • September 2010
  • August 2010
  • July 2010
  • June 2010
  • May 2010
  • April 2010
  • March 2010
  • February 2010
  • January 2010
  • December 2009
  • November 2009
  • October 2009
  • September 2009
  • August 2009
  • July 2009
  • June 2009
  • May 2009
  • April 2009
  • March 2009
  • February 2009
  • January 2009
  • December 2008
  • November 2008
  • October 2008
  • September 2008
  • August 2008
  • July 2008
  • June 2008
  • May 2008
  • April 2008
  • March 2008
  • February 2008
  • January 2008
  • December 2007
  • November 2007
  • October 2007
  • September 2007
  • August 2007
  • July 2007
  • June 2007
  • May 2007
  • April 2007
  • March 2007
  • February 2007
  • January 2007
  • December 2006
  • November 2006
  • October 2006
  • September 2006
  • August 2006
  • July 2006
  • June 2006
  • May 2006
  • April 2006
  • March 2006
  • February 2006
  • January 2006
  • December 2005
  • November 2005
  • October 2005
  • September 2005
  • August 2005
  • July 2005
  • June 2005
  • May 2005
  • April 2005
  • March 2005
  • February 2005
  • January 2005
  • December 2004
  • November 2004
  • October 2004
  • September 2004
  • August 2004
  • July 2004
  • June 2004
  • May 2004
  • April 2004
  • March 2004
  • February 2004
  • January 2004
  • December 2003
  • November 2003
  • October 2003
  • September 2003
  • August 2003
  • July 2003
  • June 2003
  • May 2003
  • April 2003
  • February 2003
  • August 2002

Meta

  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.org

Pages

  • About
  • Church
  • Disclaimer
  • Education
  • Writing

Social Media

© 2022 Sivin Kit's Garden | Powered by Minimalist Blog WordPress Theme