Random Thoughts before Epiphany

Jalan Abdullah Midnight

There are some things which will happen, and even though you are more prepared to face it, it still impacts you.

The toilet reading had a revelatory moment. There are those who specialize in complaining but provide no alternatives.

Energy is limited.

I thought I’d manage a little better this week in terms of the most important tasks on my table … I still have a chance to catch up, it’s just physically I’m a little tired. I missed some exercise this afternoon. But I can give that up when there’s a young one who needs to feel safe, when the thunder is so loud.

Denial is common. But the move to “demonize” or to put it mildly to “paint others in their worst light” one step to try to legitimize actually what is authentically good. Strange how we tend towards that path especially when we may have been hurt deeply. It’s understandable. And I think it’s even a necessary phase … I repeat a transitional phase. As mode of operation, it can be poison. Perhaps, we do need some “chemo” to eliminate some “cancer”. But, we need to keep an eye on the good we might kill off as well.

Changes … looks like this year will be the year of changes … I can predict the future a little … most appear inevitable… there’s a strange loneliness in seeing the future, especially when one cannot change where it’s heading … that’s in most cases.

When you find a small corner, you can tend a garden. See some fruit. Celebrate.

Are we wiser when we are older? Or do we become grouchier?

I’m in day two of my 20-30 day challenge to journal again. I’ve slacked somewhat the last month. Good to renew this practice. It’s been a simple step which has taken me thousands of miles. And I’d like to move another thousand.

Fascinating when one listens to friends, on one hand  agreeing with one on the thinking but not too impressed with the life practice, on the other resonate with the life practices but notice some reworking needed on the thinking … more of expansion really.

Why is it we tend towards dualism? After so much talk about integration and being holistic, why is so hard to do it?

I was asked on how can one get closer to God? The first thing which came to my mind was to humble oneself. We come to God holding on to too much … we want to be closer, we want to feel closer at least and yet we are afraid to let go … the tools we use or the spiritual habits we cultivate I think in the long run are exercises in putting us in a place we can let go. Then, there’s space for some “happenings”.

I don’t feel very smart. I find my thoughts at time cluttered, at other times lacking to sophistication of language, but I wonder even if I’m not a genius, can I become wise? How do we grow in wisdom?

This is the word for the day for me today … “wisdom”.



About Sivin Kit

man of one wife, father of four kids
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