Random Thoughts with a Full Stomach

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The last few weeks had been very FULL in terms of time, relationships, appointments, ups and downs, etc. This moment of silence is precious.

It’s always hard when any of the family member falls sick.  And especially when it’s the children.  Having kids has forced me to re-look at many areas of life.  Especially the point of view of a parent.  Having responsibilities for these young ones is no joke.

Do I miss single life?  in some ways … but I don’t think about it much.  My mind is preoccupied with 101 other concerns. The demands are great whether it’s a 5 year old, 3 year old or a 4 month old.

But one does get more sensitized our "truncated" our individualistic view of life can be.  No matter how much talk we can use about being generous, being open, being smarter, being …. whatever.  At the end, we land up with those whom are like us … or like us.  It’s hard since many of us especially from Malaysia for example might have lived more for the expectation of others.  But the pendulum swing of breaking free leaves behind many casualties…. very often it’s the one’s who love and care for us.  The fact is if we are honest, we don’t really care for people … or perhaps we don’t really care.  Something is wrong somewhere.

The older folk are so sacrificial at times to the point of much self-denial. They only want the best for their kids.  At least, they want to do their best.  As young people, we try to appreciate, or lessen the their burdens … but they often insist because this is the way they operate. While I think it’s so easy to overdo it even to the detriment of one’s health, and some balance is needed here.  But, the glory of youth often overshadows our minds compared to the sacrificial nature of the generation before us.

I’m talking more on looking into what’s personal to us here. 

When the inner life is bankrupt, we can try to fill it with "Stuff"  … but it’s still empty.  It’s scary when we are exposed.

The art of being human in the way of Jesus is not popular today… even to those who may have had access to it.  Part of the blame is put on a poor representation of all that Christ offers, but I think even after that … a good self check might help in removing the barriers which block our growth in matters of faith.  For that to happen, a healthy acceptance of our humanity is a good start, but without ignoring the reality of our sinfulness.  And then, room needs to be made for change. Change can be painful especially when we need to face our own nakedness.

Oh yes. … all these are merely random thoughts… which I haven’t done for some time.

And yet, there might still be a genuine quest to search for that which is real, true and beautiful.  Maybe it might sound dumb and unsophisticated.  But the yearning is what keeps us going.

Abandoning some long held beliefs are part of the process, but that’s different from throwing the idea of trust all together.  Without trust, or some belief … how do humans relate?  Cutting of the most basic relation with our creator somehow is a step away from realizing out full humanity.

Rambling a little ….

Stomach still too Full.

The dinner or more like mini farewell dinner was good.

Glimpses of God’s grace gives me some hope. Shines a little in the darkness and greys.

Eyes open a little more ….

Nothing much to say.

About Sivin Kit

man of one wife, father of four kids
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