The Struggle


but God calls us to the struggle,
and the struggle is worth it.

– Helen R. Neinast and Thomas C. Ettinger
What About God? Now That You’re Off to College

(via Upper Room Daily Reflections)

Prayer, meditation, …. struggle … this is the way I can relate to when it comes to thinking through faith issues, feeling the pulse of daily life, and stumbling forward after each choice made,  It’s not easy, no matter what others say, or what they see in me. 

Sometimes, I manage to celebrate quiet little victories.  Very often, I wonder whether all the energy spent has been worth it.  Like a friend mentioned to me one morning, it’s not about getting approval or even appreciation.  Those are gifts when they come.  Better treat them that way than demanding them. It’s nice when they pop by, it’s not the end of the world if they don’t visit.

A question has been haunting me for at least a month, but it would come out strange if I were to articulate it.  There are questions best left in the sanctuary of one’s heart.  What’s important is that it’s a very honest question, that the honest answer makes me re-look again on my interaction with others. It’s not easy.

I used to tell people, only people who are alive struggle.  And I still believe it, the fact of struggle indicates more than a survival instinct but really a desire to be alive.  The struggle comes in all sorts of shapes and sizes, and in all the spheres of our lives. 

For me, there is no dualism, or any kind of non-integrated escapism.  And increasingly, I’m discovering incongruence all around me.  Simply, shouting slogans in our minds of walking the talk won’t do. Better sit silently, and stop talking … do what’s the next action, and then talk again. 

It’s not easy … some struggles are worth it, some are not.  And I pray for the wisdom to know the difference. It’s improving with age 🙂 The reality is at this stage of life, an honest admission of limited energy is the first step to freedom.  Freedom to struggle with all that’s worth it.

It’s still not easy … but it’s necessary!

About Sivin Kit

man of one wife, father of four kids
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