No Longer Two But One: 9 Years!


Last year I wrote an extended post entitled 8 Years 🙂 This year, I’m late by one day … but I thought I mustn’t miss it.  More than two days is too much! Happy belated wedding anniversary … we got married in 1999, June 5, Saturday in Christ Lutheran Church Setapak …

How did we celebrate? Well, we watched a movie at home while enjoying together potato chips! In between, May Chin was handling Ewan or Elysia when they woke up.  I’ve fallen sick so it was a very uneventful way to celebrate it. 

As I was looking through some of the reflections I’ve had the past week through The Upper Room.  This one was particularly appropriate for us as individuals and as a couple.

Apprentices of Christ

AS APPRENTICES [of Christ] we are … unskilled, unformed, undeveloped. The good Master will present us with tasks just beyond our reach, tasks that build on our strengths and challenge our weaknesses, and he will stand by us in our clumsiness as we learn. Our ignorance and mistakes put us into a searching, inquiring mode: How can we do this better? Are there others who could give us tips? Have we understood the instructions? Being an apprentice means starting, quite honestly, where you are rather than where you should be.

– Robert Corin Morris
Wrestling with Grace: A Spirituality for the Rough Edges of Daily Life

After 9 years of marriage, I find that in so many ways we are still very unskilled, unformed, and undeveloped.  The laboratory of marriage does intensify the learning as apprentices of Christ and as human beings. In the midst of explosive as well as experimental ups and downs, what’s precious is that ultimately, it’s a safe place for us to grow together, "No longer two but one" (which was the theme for our wedding by the way.)

With 3 energetic children in Gareth, Elysia and Ewan, there are added challenges as well as surprising joy. Our attention tends to be redirected to them than to one another, which is understandable. So, there’s a need for extra effort to simply enjoy each other’s presence and to continue to where we are today to where we should be.

It’s not about going back to the "good old days" where we were free and easy as singles or as newly weds minus the kids.  It’s about going forward enriched by the past but looking towards the future, being ready for the unexpected …  it was nice to dream a little together last night.  I think while getting ready for the unexpected is important, what’s more crucial is that we do not have our own dreams separate from each other, but both of our aspirations can converge. So, while we didn’t manage to have a fantastic dinner (maybe later!), May Chin laughed at me for not getting her a present (need to wait for my salary cheque to get banked in!), I didn’t get anything too! (hahahahah!), and so on … in a sense nothing very eventful right?

But the important components, were present … dreaming together, being together, talking together, listening together, eating together (the chips was good! So was the earlier KFC!), etc. The heightened reminder we are "No longer Two but One" was precious, for that I’m thankful. Hopefully, after I recover from my flu we can have a proper "more elaborate" celebration. 🙂

About Sivin Kit

man of one wife, father of four kids
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