It’s a new day. It’s a new season. It’s unprecedented. It’s needed.
I feel good because finally I got the answer for what is the next phase for me personally and for the family. It’s been a long wait from April until September. Slightly more than 4 months, and there’s another at least 3 months before everything settles in.
Learning to wait has been a tremendous challenge. I found the inner battles most challenging, whether it’s the need for calmness and confidence, to the multiple thoughts on “what ifs” or “why am I doing this?”.
Now, the move forward is clear. I’m learning how the future changes the way I live in the present. And in so many ways, this is in line with the Christian approach to live as we live in the light of the future – i.e. the fullness and the total coming of the reign of God in our chaotic existence.
This is a season where the uniqueness and differences of the way May China and I operate are glaring. The big picture me just moves on, explores possibilities and ever ready to make decisions. The detailed beloved wife of mine sees the details, asks the fine print questions, and keeps the ship steady 🙂 The Kids they are simply excited. But then again, in some occasions I hear them talking about what or more importantly who they will miss. Life is often about experiences but at the end of it what’s critical to us is the relationships we’ve cultivated.
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Visited my friend in the hospital a number of times. He’s in the intensive care unit (ICU). It’s painful to see him there. Memories of other ICU visits flush in my mind on and off. It’s such a sterile place in the good sense because one cannot risk uncalled for infection on the patients. And yet, without the visitors and prayers for healing, it can be a truly cold place. Human warmth is so needed.
We’ve grown close since the day I moderated the forum where he was sitting on my left. I’ll always say that I support any of his articles as long as Martin Luther is mentioned. We laugh all the time. I still have his books that I borrowed on Tariq Ramadan. I was supposed to return them to him these few weeks because we missed the chance to meet up. I hope to be able to do that once he’s awake. Lord, please heal him.
He’s such a fresh voice in our public sphere. On a personal level, he’s such a close friend. Lord have mercy.
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The storyline of my life is full of ups and downs, delights and surprises, bumps and brokenness, moments of darkness and glimpses of light. As I was compiling previous blog posts for a potential book to come, just a brief scan shed some interesting light. Sure, I have changed. I have aged. Hopefully, I have matured and learnt some precious lessons. But it’s also the different feelings generated when I see a picture, and the memories of encounters with different people. Many who are still alive, some have stepped into the other side of time.
I’m glad I’m back blogging again. Twitter is spoiling us for short spurts. In a conversation with a friend yesterday in her car, I observed how blogging in a way helps us slowdown and recollect ourselves. Not so much of the picture posts I throw up or the videos I post, but ones like this one where the whole exercise of moving the fingers, a slight pause before the next turn in the sentence, the hammering of the full stop “.” 🙂 the smiley symbols, the whole package.
Well, I think I’m also ready to write again not just for blogging, but beyond to other spaces where my thoughts are welcome.
Looks like it’s going to be interesting!
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