Sivin Kit's Garden

Courage & Calling

It's quite an akward week to start our "spiritual friendship" group. For me, it was in and out of hospitals with Mom last week and May Chin this week. Both are doing alright now. For our big bro who initiated the process down with Denggi and his son admitted. But, thankfully it was a better week for the third person especially when it comes to setting boundaries in work.

Our first meeting face to face with all three of us was yesterday morning.We'll be meeting monthly and I really looked forward to something like this. I was hoping to start one myself (which I think I'm doing something a little different with Emergent Malaysia). But I suppose, it's better for me personally to just enjoy accountability, support and spiritual formation with these two brothers.

Our Big Bro was kind to give us this particular book to guide our reflections and thinking. It's nice to receive gifts not just in the form of books (which I don't mind) but more in the form of acceptance, openness and mutual discernment.

Looking forward to personally work through these questions in the coming months:

# What is my calling?
# How do I live it out in the midst of difficult relationships or moral challenges?
# Will my vocation change as I enter a new stage of life?
# As I cope with competing needs and demands, how can I craft a balanced, ordered way of living?
# Where do I find the courage to follow God's call?

Random Thoughts after Sunway & Seminar

i'm glad I managed to share a little at Sunway College Christian Fellowship. I'm not sure whether I confused them more by my presentation style but they looked pretty interactive in their eyes then stoned. :-)

The post-CF meeting at A&Ws was good ... one of them commented that I'm the first speaker who actually joined them for dinner!!! I must admit that felt good. And it made me wonder, are we pastors or leaders-type rushing around too much that we miss good old relationship times? ... for me I learnt as much as they did around the open conversations after finishing our Mozza burgers, Root bear float and waffles! Both the food and thoughts were yummy!

I've really enjoyed my interaction with college university students lately and older secondary school students. Their hearts cry, and observations plus insights have been very helpful to me personally.

Managed to pop in the Kairos Seminar discussing on the Passion of Christ. The three panel speakers did very well actually in my opinion.

I also enjoy listening to the so called "Christian thinkers" or intellectuals. There's always space to "push" myself a bit more in this area and not be complacent with where I am. I guess, if the students keep me to the ground, these guys allow me to fly a little bit. :-)

The three areas were ... Talk 1: Pastoral and Evangelistic relevance of The Passion of the Christ
, Talk 2: Critical Perspectives on Jesus films, and Talk 3: The Crucifixion: Historical Context and Theological Significance. All three I felt somehow able to sqeeze through to the about 250 crowd. I enjoyed it with or without the multisyllable words :-) too bad right now the movie is banned in Malaysia. hmm ....

I've yet to watch the movie and have already decided to do so as the hype is already cooling off. In Malaysia, not much hype actually. I guess, I need to watch it to really have something to say. Oh .. well ... in due time.

2 Gateways

For serious students of the Bible ...

Here's the Old Testament Gateway

I'll be running to this gateway a couple of times since we'll be swimming through proverbs, Job and Ecclesiastes the next few weeks.

Here's the New Testament Gateway

Introducing ...

Well ... I asked both of them to blog and their entries have been sporadic or almost non-existent. But, It was good to see alwynlau putting in a sudden surge of blog-energy! Check out his playful rendition of "Why did God create Mosquitoes?"

Yew Khuen is another guy I'm looking forward to hear more. After a long absence, his come back post Originality and Creativity seemed to get his brain juices pumping again. Looking forward for more.

We've met once together and hope to meet again. After Jason Clark's encouragement we're trying (and it's very slow) to form a kind of Emergent Malaysia co-hort (for more check out emergentvillage & emergent-uk). At this stage, we just want to get the conversations flowing. Personally, I hope it can be a "safe place" for us to do not only "critical" thinking but more importantly a place where "constructive" proposals and ideas can be shared to help us move forward. If anyone (from Malaysia) is interested please mail me.

He will carry You ...

May Chin, Gareth and I are getting back to normal life after the last few days. I recall a song by Scott Wesly Brown we used to sing when we were teenagers.

if He carried the weight of the world upon his shoulders,
I know my brother that he will carry you ...
if He carried the weight of the world upon his shoulders,
I know my sister that he will carry you ...

All these years He has not failed to carry us especially when we need it. He has not failed to do so even now. For that we are thankful ... and for the "little hands" of others who've extended their prayers, support and care, we are grateful as well.

Random thought & feelings after ...

Don't know how to "feel" in the face of the "unexpected" yesterday.

Life is so fragile ...

The blame game is not going to help anyone.

Somethings are more important than others ...

It's alright to grieve and it's ok to be alone

There's a time for everything ...

God's grace is somehow "sustaining" us.

Random Thoughts after Tom Yam KFC

I'm thankful I managed to survive and actually communicate to some degree to the participants at my two hours session on Lutheran Pietism at Taman Midah Lutheran Church. I must admit, my mandarin is really rusty!

It's been sometime since I interacted with those involved in the
Chinese-Mandarin speaking Christians more indepth. I realized that there's something emerging as well. Though different but worth listening ... sounds like the struggle is more towards how to grow out of "conservatism" or worse some polished form of "fundamentalism" ... hmmm maybe some interaction might coming up soon.

May Chin and I were talking about how "timely" Dr. Voon's sharing this morning during the Worship about "the contemplative life" based on the Mary and Martha episode with Jesus. I felt that God used her sharing and our time of silence & reflection to draw me closer to Him and what we humans are really all about - i.e. relationships. Good stuff!

It was quite fun to all pretty much all the continents represented in our little community of worship today. We only had Latin America missing. We had the Finnish duo, the Aussie resident aliens, and a new comer from Bostwana, and of course the Malaysians! And the scripture reading during worship was from Revelation and how the magnitude worshiped the lamb that was slain ... awesome glimpse what's really in God' mind!

Looking forward to a "Sabbath" tomorrow ... mine is supposed to be on Monday. Thursday I'll be speaking in a college CF, and then on Friday a secondary school CF evangelistic meeting. But, for now ... learning to enter some kind of REST. It's been quite a week ... and it will be another interesting week.

BTW, the Tom Yam flavoured KFC was so so ... :-)

Next Honeymoon Destination?

Where can I go with May Chin for our second Honeymoon? :-) Options are now expanding after looking at these pictures!

speechless ...

Thanks Maiken for introducing us to your beautiful dwelling place! For more click here Get a feel for the islands...

A Matrix Moment?

After an extended chat with someone yesterday afternoon, I realized that the "struggle" we face is truly not against flesh and blood ... it's bigger than we think.

Random Thoughts while waiting

There's a distance when one is reading a blog or even commenting on someones blog. Meeting face to face makes the whole interaction more vulnerable. Definately more unpredictable. More dangerous? And yet .. more real, and "incarnational" ... more rewarding and open for surprises?! No wonder, "God made his dwelling (tent) among us" :-)

Is the world of achievement and drivenness and distrust the "real world"? or is there a more "real" world that's we would all prefer to live in, be part of or even help construct (or usher in)?

How about reading the Bible as Film? (Thanks Robert Farrar Capon) Got me back to a playful mode this morning ...

Glad I could chat with someone today online, appreciated her honesty ... but I do struggle to understand why one makes the choices he or she makes.

Got a referral for an African to come to BLC this week from my Charismatic church pastor friend ... it was funny, but quite delightful to read the mail and later call this African young man studying in Malaysia.

Hmmm .. I think the people I'm meeting are going to be waiting for me .. what can happen around the conversations at dinner. Wonders I suppose ...

Pastors not in church?

A bunch of us Lutheran pastors (about 10 of us) sat at a corner in IKANO's food court. We kind of decided it's time to have some fun! Adn not meet in the church premises. At first, the pastor who was in charge of this with me thought of bowling. Then, we felt maybe we might feel too guilty playing (which we shouldn't of course). So, we landed in this new shopping mall for a more "take-it-easy" pilot run.

I liked the change and had a chance to share with them two resources. First, while we were waiting for a few others I introduced (with the help of another lady pastor) See Through the Scriptures.

The pastors flipped through the manual and workbook, the price was very attractive. Both of us (the lady pastor and I) shared how we are trying this out in our church context, she in Chinese me in English.

The other one was at the end, an interesting book with 1001 conversation starters for any occassion.

One pastor commented, "hey! where's the answers?" ... I said, "for us to find out .."

Of course, I gave out a freebie (questions for normal people and fellow disciples)

It was funny how a few of them, ordered the chicken chop dish I ordered which looked more like fish then chicken. I was just plain naughty and playful. Then I think it was because I read something this morning about playing!

Trillian

Another one from Jason who got it from James Mills. Click here for downloads. Nice to use one program for all chats. Looking forward to good chats coming up!

Newsmap

Thanks Jason Clark linking this application designed for visually geared people like me.

Stories of Emergence

At the end the SUFES bookstore beat the rest in bringing in the EmergentYS stuff. I read Todd Hunter's chapter first simply because he was very kind and encouraging to me during my "tough" time trying to figure out who I was and what I'm called to do, and of course the kind of direction I felt "led" to pursue (a personal contact or relationship really makes a difference in how we read something).

I did a strange thing as well ... I read Mike Yaconelli's Introduction and Brian McLaren's Afterword and will be working through the stories in random.

From Yaconelli ...
"... I've never lost my love for the church, the glorious odd collection of unimpressive, ordinary, flawed people who make up the community of God, the body of Christ." (p. 14)

"... our stories are the workshop of faith." (p. 19)

"... what we remember -- how we put it together -- speaks volumes about who we are." (p. 20)

"Stories, are the most effective way to combine complicated and difficult-to-explain truth into simple, understandable bites of reality we can grasp." (p. 21)

From McLaren ...
"... people, including Christians, never grow up ... Our Stories never end as long as we're alive." (p. 222)

" ... it's good to remember that we're talking emergence here, not exiting or expiring. The stories in this volume represent an ongoing ... no, more than ongoing ... growing and passionate commitment to the Christian faith, to the local church, to the ongoing message and community and revolution begun by Jesus Christ. That's good news!" (p. 224)

" ... these storytellers share a common hope that their struggle (which is far from over -- remember, we never finish growing up) will be worthwhile, that their reaching and aspiring and seeking and finding and learning/unlearning/relearning will be fruitful, that their stories will somehow advance the story of a mystery articulated by Jesus, a mystery called the kingdom of God, a story of God's will being done on earth as it is in heaven." (p. 225)

Just do it!

In his post Don't do it...... Adrian Warnock says,

"It worries me that our blogging 'communities' and bible material online might make some more inclined to this way of life. I believe that a vibrant Christian life will usually not last several years outside of church. Thus, my prayer is for people to realise that frustration with how things are can be converted into vision for how things should be and a desire to join a group of people in aiming to acheive just that!"

I agree with him that those of us who still believe in the church as a people both sinners and saints at the same time, offering our feeble attempts to reflect his kingdom on earth need to just "keep on doing it!" (or at least begin converting what maybe ugly into something possibly beautiful)

What I mean by "doing it" is We (espcially those of us who are leaders and pastors together with others who "see it") must work towards forming and constructing communities that not only embody how things should be, but also invite others to join us and "just do it!". I think we are well "aware" that not all is well in our so called "Christian world", but just being aware and not putting energies into working on an "Alternative" or at least joining one is even more painful.

Because the way forward is not "exiting" or just consider our Christian community life "expired", but allowing and encouraging a "new-kind-of-refined" community life to "emerge"! At least, that's the choice I made. And daily with God's help, I make a choice to keep myself on track! It's been a hard four years ... I've faltered many times, but God has been faithful and patient.

How to Read the Bible book by book

I must admit, I had difficulty ploughing through How to Read the Bible for All its Worth
(though I think it's also a good book). But this one is wonderful. Especially as we are reading chunks of 20-25 chapters of the Bible this year sharing in our LiFE Groups. I felt the Guided tour by Fee & Stuart is excellent and the special advice they give I'm sure will help many of my members too! For Malaysians, we have a special OMF edition which is more affordable! I saw it in Glad Sounds bookstore! Here's an excerpt to wet the appetite!
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" ... despite the way many of God's good people handle the Bible, it is, in fact, no mere collection of propositions to be believed and imperitives to be obeyed. Rather, the essential chracter of the Bible, the whole Bible, is narrative, a narrative in which both propositions and the imperatives are deeply embedded as an essential part." (p. 21)
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When Christians aren't Christian?

Another one from Jason (so double thanks). check out Former USA President Jimmy Carter, America's first evangelical Christian president's web exclusive "Carter's Crusade".

McLaren on "The Return of the King" & more ...

Thanks Jason for a good McLaren link "Apocalyse Now"

New Life Beyond ...

I was moved by this "letter" from an update from Jon Harris today ... yesterday I was reminded of the New Life here and now, today I'm reminded of the New Life that takes us beyond the here and now. And I'm struck by the mystery of how this New Life in Christ works in us and those aroung us.
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Dear Friends,

Jane Katharine Rennie
26 March 1964 - 14 April 2004

At 10pm on Wednesday, Jane breathed her last. I was by her side. Just minutes before, a Christian nurse (who we both knew well) had come on duty. Monitoring Jane's fading pulse, the nurse started to pray.... Thanking God for Jane's life and the influence she has had and continues to have in many lives. It was beautifully timed, highly emotional, significantly spiritual and totally spontaneous.

Over the past 10 days or more I have heard of a number of unbelievers being moved to pray for Jane and myself. These people are 'friends of friends' people who we have never met. They have been so impacted by the power of the love and friendship which they have seen in the lives of their believing friends towards us, it has touched them in extraordinary ways.

The miracle I longed for I didn't see. But there have countless other miracles along the way. God is good, gracious and faithful.

In Christ's love,
Simon
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New Life

Here's a story from Jason Clark, that I hope to see more happening starting from BLC. May Chin told me she was very touched by it too, so I decided to post it in full.
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At our sunday service, a lady who has been visiting, came over to me with her friend, and said she wanted to respond to the new life Jesus came to bring us.

Wonderful, celebrating the death and life of christ, and seeing new life birthed in someone else, a new disciple :-) She told me that instead of offering prayers to Buddha, she is now going to be making them to Jesus.
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Random Thoughts after Arranging tables & chairs

I know some people prefer theater seating, maybe it's more neat and tidy, or maybe one doesn't need to look at another human beings' face *grin* (it's disarming), maybe ... But for me, I don't mind the slight messiness (that's just life!). Oh yes, I'm talking about our Living Room (worship premises) environment.

I like it when there's a sense of "interaction" possibilities because we sit around tables, I like it ... especially when slowly we begin to see how we truly find ourselves in community and get cured of unhealthy "individualism". I know it can't be forced, I just hope the physical arrangement we're using right now will somehow nudge us a little more into that direction.

Alwyn put up some insightful thoughts as a new blogger. Here's an excerpt from the post:
"I must confess I feel more personally 'drawn' towards bloggers than I am towards the wannabee theologian/social commentator. I go to the latter for exegesis, problem-solving or to obtain familiarity with particular issues. I go to the former to, well, "connect with real people"(?), their stories, their trivia, their tears, laughter, complaints, etc.

The blogger just wants to connect. And you don't ask why. "

Enjoyed the HELP CF forum today, even though we just somehow only managed to touch the surface. The whole discussion on how Christians relate to the media is one big elephant that can only be eaten one bite at a time!

Was reminded of my first experience of a Greek Orthodox Church when I was in Geneva with May Chin a couple of years ago after David Berry put up a picture on a Different Father's House. As far as i can recall, there were no chairs for us to sit and we were standing throughout the service. Hmmm...

The 2004 Wired Rave Awards

Thanks to Tim Keel for this link. Tim's comments here "ushered me" to check the issue out:

"This current issue of Wired contains the Rave Awards, profiles on “20 mavericks and dreamers” across a host of disciplines: film, business, politics, medicine, writing…which causes me to pause and reflect that this energy, this life that is created by moving out, moving away from, looking beyond and if not beyond, then deeper…it makes me wonder: do we all have potential to dream and risk in the pursuit of those dream(s)? I think maybe that thing, that wilingness to risk and move out can be what pushes a person from merely being a dreamer to being someone who is catalytic, a maverick."

Random Thoughts while Wife watches "Fear Factor"

The Worship rehearsal was refreshing tonight and energizing. The "what do you want?" question did wonders for us during the mid-practice break. I was "treasure" authentic prayer times that arise from the sharing.

wow! Can Amazon's A9.com give Google a run for their money?

I was impressed by the spider in Journey Woman and a new frien Tiki's new business ... www.cheapspider.com

Just wondering how the HELP CF members will take my approach to music, movies and media in general tomorrow. Really looking forward to the Forum with two other panel members, a psychologist and another one working with Focus on the Family Malaysia.

Handling Gareth and his cousin Darlene is not easy at all. I've got a greater appreciation to May Chin's parents for taking wonderful care of them. It was fun driving around with Gareth lately .. good father and son bonding moments. I'm thankful!

For the "What do you want?" question, I shared I just wanted Gareth to have the same fun-filled, playful, explorative, enjoyable, creative and educational childhood I had. Not the mechanical, robotic, exam driven, pressure-cooked, factory-produced ... so called "for your child's future" kind of education sold to the masses in Malaysia today. I'll take my chances!

Spiritual Mentoring

I just realized that I stopped at chapter three of this book, which is a good book on Spiritual Mentoring from a Christian (or 2 authors combined actually!) point of view (I was surprised after I "googled" and found out how New Age and so called self-proclaimed "pagans" are using the term as their own)

Here's their definition of spiritual mentoring:
"Spiritual mentoring is a triadic relationship between mentor, mentoree and the Holy Spirit, where the mentoree can discover, through the already present action of God, intimacy with God, ultimate identity as a child of God and a unique voice for kingdom responsibility."

The Big three questions have helped me a lot:
1. Who is God?
2. Who am I?
3. What am I to do with my life?

All this sparked by a young friends question at the discussion forum on "What do you think of spiritual mentoring?" which has some replies already.

Big Fish

I watched this movie during Holy Week and had a "healing" time. More than that, I'm captured again by the amazing "magic" of storytelling and imagination.

If you can't resist reviews, click here. But I warn you, watch the movie before you read the reviews. Then make up your own mind.

The Adventures of Seinfeld & Superman

The “Webisodes” are funtastic ... and I don't have to have and AmEx card to enjoy it! Click here. I'm enjoying this one day break!

Easter Hope

Watching and listening to the interview with FREDERICK BUECHNER in Easter Hope in Time of War (recorded in 2003 so that gives us some context). I just love the ways he pieces his phrases to convey truth that sets people free ... free to respond ... free to live!

"What really matters is not so much what happened there. It's what happens now. What happens in your life and my life. Is God making himself known in some powerful and saving way among people, even, who don't give a hoot about God? Is this still a reality which is part of the madness and self-destructiveness and darkness of the world? That's what really matters."

Stations of the Cross Uploaded

I'm on leave today ... but in the "thinking room" at the Father's House (BLC premises) and finally uploaded a sample of the pictures Chin Hor took for the Stations of the Cross we did last week. Click Here.

Shocked!

Jordon Cooper's blog is one that has sparked me off into all sorts of interesting directions. Loads of fabulous links were from his site. He's taking his blog offline for now. It's the reason why he has to do so that got me thinking how vulnerable we are. (Please read both Jordon's "site news" and Wendy's "right now" post for more info)

My prayers are with both he and his wife Wendy.

Easter Monday

I was hoping to post up some pictures of the Stations of the cross on Holy Satuday (what I call the "silence-in-between-day"). I was prevented because it was a heavy downpour and storm so I had to shut down (wanted to avoid the modem frying after being struck by lightning!). But Journey Women beat me to it and put up some pictures here. I'll upload more into the gallery this week. Johnny Baker introducing a worthwhile idea on the Stations of Resurrection. wow!

I'll just acknowledge the cool guy who took the pictures and the cool God working behind the scenes in his life (do you see the cross behind him?)

It's great to "see through the eyes" of Journey Woman, John and David how they encountered Christ through the Holy Week and Easter. I was also "all ears" to eavesdrop or listen to how other BLCians (who don't blog!) discover meaning through the past week.

On a personal note, I found (again!) a fresh appreciation of how Jesus is our Crucified God! And on Easter it hit me deeper how He is our Risen Lord. On Good Friday, I asked the question above in the light of the cross. On Easter Sunday, I asked it again in the light of the empty tomb. Both are needed! When I think about the Resurrection shows me, I'm not just living based on a "dead man's memory" no matter how noble that was. I'm living today based on the mystery and reality of one who passed through death and now somehow walks with me and talks with me. He's no ghost! A living Christ continues his work here and now. He's simply awesome ... and it's just impossible to live the same way if he were not risen! Does that make sense? I guess to some it's nonsense, for me it's beyond sense ... :-) Easter Monday for me today represents this Resurrected Jesus continuing his journey in and through my pathway until we meet face to face!

Night No. 5 ... Thru his eyes

Walking with him through all the stations was what I wanted to do through out the week. His willingness turned out to be a gift for me to listen and respond to the questions and comments he had.

For a Christian - a Christ-Follower, I walked through the stations with prayer in mind.

For our guest - a Christ-explorer?!, he walked through the stations with curiosity, questions and the thought of trying to understand.

I appreciated the questions and also wondered ... hmmm .. maybe some of BLC members might need some guidance in the same questions. How often we assume too much.

There were some things he didn't feel comfortable doing ... he was not ready. I liked the honesty. Maybe there were other things he was more willing, that takes some risk.

For two of my young friends (who I saw grow up especially during their late teenage years), this was something refreshing for them ... the words "peaceful" come to mind as we are so caught in the noisy busyness of city life.

For some of the kids, the space was wonderful for running around. Hmmm ... how does all this contemplative stations thing work for Mom's with toddlers who are more excited about walking than candles? (They can only be quite for a short period)

And then for some adults, "quietness" is so strange, we don't know how to enter it or appreciate it. Is this a cultural thing? If yes, what culture? if not? I thought even in our non-Christian background there was that element of silence.

Seems there is still more to learn, much to unlearn, and big chunks to re-learn.

Night No. 4 ... The Meal

Strange isn't it? When my assitant is not around and I'm expecting people to stroll in later. Two come early and four on time ... and this 21-C Aaronic Priest (I mean "me") still have not lit up the candles. The lamb (I mean "lamb chop" is still in the car). Music not set up yet. No sweat? Not in Malaysia!

Anyway, after the pilgrims patiently waited for this "priesy"/"pastor" to get things ready, the journey begins while I try to get our mini-sample-passover meal ready (I got some ideas from here).

It was nice to connect the Lord's Supper with the Passover Meal. And I appreciated the symbolism and the "reliving" element.

We read from four passages of Scripture - from Exodus, Psalms 1 Corinthians and John. I gave some mini-comments as we tasted small portions of the various dishes. And they were very small dishes, each could just manage to get a bite and a taste. We ended with prayer and for some - they started rheir journey, for others - they were near completion.

Frankly this is the first time in my own Christian life I took Maundy Thursday (BBC short comment) seriously. It was a gradual thing I suppose. Once I decided to take the church/christian calender seriously (it's like now even my hours, days, months and years revolve around Christ), I find it somehow taking hold of me more ... and I feel it's for the better.
I know we missed out on the washing of feet this year. I can't recall when did we do it ... probably the second year of BLC. Anyway, fo me today the meal brought me some focus on the Holy Communion and it's significance.

Next year, maybe we could do a full meal including footwashing etc. I was delighted that at least for one person, this mini-meal we did tonight originally was meant for just tasting really filled her hungry stomach. Maybe that's how it is with our journey with God, we start of thinking it's just for tasting when it's really fulfilling God's best for us!

Antidote to Discouragement

One more before I collect BLC's Newsletter Mustard Seed from the photocopy centre at Damansara Jaya. Today, the nourishment is suplied by Gordon Cosby:

"During the last ten years, our national economy has been doing well, we are told. Yet more and more people are sliding into poverty's grip. All those statistics represent human beings who suffer and whose children don't eat well.

When reality is infinitely discouraging, how am I supposed to keep hoping? How can I keep up my courage? The only antidote to such discouragement, I believe, is to become rooted in another reality." ~ That's just the opening paragraph. For more read here .

Perspectives on Servant leadership

Bob K commented on Random Thoughts after Good Council Meeting, "It would be refreshing to get perspectives on servant leadership from one who is in the position to offer it. :)"

The only thing I can say right now .. it's an uphill struggle. The greatest battles are often internal and hidden from the sight of the public eye. After reading the quote by Gordon Cosby awhile ago on Groups after 60 years, I think we better listen to the man who's wrestled with this all life in and through the ministry of Church of the Savior (thanks to Vineyard Cutting Edge and Todd Hunter for introducing me to this amazing man, church and ministry).

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On vision...

"The most crucial gift of a leader is the capacity to see new possibilities, new combinations of energy and life coming together and to see now, in imagination, that which is not yet but which ought to be."

"My task is to get close enough to Jesus Christ for him to do through me what he wants to do, which is the call that he has placed on my life."

On hope...

"In War and Peace Prince Andre says of Austerlitz, 'Our loss was not much greater than that of the French, but we said to ourselves that we would lose it, and we did lose it.' In other words, we lost because we told ourselves we would lose. Militarily it was not quite that simple. But the point is clear. Fatalism saps the will and produces the situation it prophesies."

"Hope is a form of faith and tends to produce what it sees. Despair is a form of faith and tends to produce what it sees."

On "empathic universalism" (as opposed to empathic provincialism):

"The great leader sees and feels himself or herself as a part of the whole - identified with the totality."

"The great leader never feels it is us verses them. He or she is for everybody. To be for one interest group is never to be against another. To be for those without power is surely not to be against those with power."

On waiting:

"Are we willing, after we have done all that we know to hold the vision, and to carry it with hope, and to let it be a part of the totality, and to give it our best - are we willing then simply to wait when we have done it all? And simply to suffer, and to let our vicarious suffering be the means by which God ultimately brings the kingdom?"
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From "By Grace Transformed", Chapter 2 - The Nature of Christian Leadership via Gordon Cosby Quotes on What is Church? weblog

On Groups after 60years

"Gordon Cosby (church of the Savior in Wash. DC) says that, in over 60 years of ministry, they have learned that no groups that come together for a non-missional purpose (prayer, worship, study, etc.) end up becoming missional. It has only been the groups that set out to be missional in the first place (while embracing prayer, worship, study, etc.) that actually did so." via {neurotribe.net}

Night No. 3 ... Gentle Whispers

Journey Woman is the first (apart from me) to blog her "thots" in Walking in silence

One by one or two by two ... they walk in the Father's House front door ... Each receives the guide and a simple floor plan on how the journey goes.

Unlike last year where I prayed with them at the end. Today, I started with a simple explanation of what we're doing here and why. A simple laying of hands ... an honest prayer and a smile for their journey.

They move from one station to another. Some faster, others slower. There was kneeling, journaling, sitting quietly, standing, reading, listening, praying, worshipping, lifting up a small rock, "voting" ...

Some managed to share with me some thoughts and feelings ... I treasure the sharing close to my heart.

We came in from a world blasting with noise into a house transformed into a house of prayer ... we had but one desire to hear His gentle whispers ...

I don't think we can end at 9.30pm it's already 10.25pm ... when God is speaking to his people why the rush?

Sacred Space ... again

I remember introducing Sacred Space in this blog last year. I decided to change my browser's starting page from Yahoo! to Sacred Space as a Holy Week response as I step into Wednesday. If I'm unable to spend this time in silence, I put on some instrumental music. For a change I tried music from Andy Hunter which was a totally different experience .

Confession heals ...

Rob Bell Jr.'s last message I'm listening to right now has lots of words confessed that really brings healing to me and nourishment ... good stuff.

Night No.2 ... Silence

In the stillness of this hour ... we walk again (the pictures below are from Catholic Church Ireland website))

Communicating Christ today ... LIVE

It's been sometime since I've been listening to lectures or a sermon online with RealPlayer. And this lecture series by Rob Bell Jr. from Mars Hill Bible Church is pretty refreshing ... (don't let the seriousness of the titles mislead you)

November 7, 2003 - "Communicating Christ in Contemporary Culture," Staley Lecture Series, Rob Bell, Jr., Teaching Pastor, Mars Hill Bible Church, Grandville, MI
RealAudio

November 6, 2003 - "Communicating Christ in Contemporary Culture," Staley Lecture Series, Rob Bell, Jr., Teaching Pastor, Mars Hill Bible Church, Grandville, MI
RealAudio

November 5, 2003 - "Communicating Christ in Contemporary Culture," Staley Lecture Series, Rob Bell, Jr., Teaching Pastor, Mars Hill Bible Church, Grandville, MI
RealAudio

Night No.1 ... Just words

Outer Noise
The dissonance was disturbing, conflict was looking for resolution. The clashes were in my face, Hundred and one things pulling each other in my mind. Why is the dissonance so long? It's hard to quiet down ... prefer sweetness, but it's not real all the time. 1st piece was real ... I changed to the 2nd piece prefered it but deep down it's not on earth.

God in the Flesh
what! so ordinary? nothing much ... so bare ... hear the mosque, the dogs are barking ... some music still in the background. so, empty, ... so vulnerable .. so ordinary.

Mary Anoints Jesus
Irregardless of what those idiots are thinking ... I can only pour it out simply ... serving YOU ... even if I'm alone

Judas Agrees to Betray Jesus
yeah .. maybe for money ... maybe for fame ...dunno? maybe for some Agenda that's worthwhile ... in my eyes. Betray or betrayed? where is my location ?

The Last Supper
Painful. Not just physical but the whole process ... people whom you love, disicples who walked with YOU ... Ironic, the meal was to celebrate. Now, it's a moment when darkness is coming to swallow light. Alone ... lonely ... in the crowd.

Gethsemane
speechless ...

Jesus' Arrest
"Who is it you want?" what a piercing question? .. I see a rope .. I touched it .. I see a sword ...

Jesus Trial
So sorry... so useless... so powerless .. totally crashed .. crushed ...

The Crucifixtion
I don't deserve it not one bit ... why do I think I should get forgiveness ...? walking into darkness ...

Jesus Death
Darkness swallowed me up ...

Jesus' Burial
Very heavy ...

Crossroads: What Will You Do with Jesus?
I need to walk through this one more time ... you just can't rush ... one must slow down.

The Journey Begins ...

1GOD spoke to Moses: 2"Order the People of Israel to bring you virgin olive oil for light so that the lamps may be kept burning continually. 3Aaron is in charge of keeping these lamps burning in front of the curtain that screens The Testimony in the Tent of Meeting from evening to morning continually before GOD. This is a perpetual decree down through the generations. 4Aaron is responsible for keeping the lamps burning continually on the Lampstand of pure gold before GOD. ~ Leviticus 24 (The message)

Random Thoughts while drinking White Coffee

After listening to (or I'mean reading) what Messy Christian is going through with her church walk. I felt like just watching the "irreverent" movie my Steve Martin above. Of course, I seen a couple of TV movies on religious fraud. and it was never comfortable, so I won't know how this comedy would help.

Others have recommended the Big Kahuna (which I'll also try to get my hands on some day). I heard about the buzz on the movie Saved! as well may use comedy again to get us thinking, will wait and see ... ( I heard these movies are not so much about religous frauds but more on some segments of Christian sub-culture)

But for now, I think "The apostle" (picture below) by Robert Duvall was a sympathetic and honest portrayal of a Pentecostal preacher I appreciated and highly recommend.

Coffee finished ...

Theologia Crucis

"Theologia crucis is not a single chapter in theology, but the key-signature for all Christian theology." ~ Jurgen Moltmann

It's nice to get a hold of this book to focus my mind for this week. It was actually sparked by the following two articles from the Lutheran by Theologian Douglas John Hall to start off Holy Week 2004.

The theology of the cross for our day. Here's a little appetizer:

"For Luther, neither those who say it's all bad nor those who say it's all good represent rightly the biblical view of the human condition. Life is a voyage on the great murky sea of "inbetween." The trick is how to navigate one's frail boat with eyes wide open to the real perils of the depths, yet with courage and expectancy."

Beyond the cross of Calvary with an intro like the following, one must read on:

"The theology of the cross isn't just about Jesus' crucifixion and its meaning for us, although the cross of Calvary is, of course, its central symbol — its window on the world."

Random Thoughts after Good Council Meeting

It's so good to be part of a leadership team where we trust one another and don't waste time on petty issues.

Reading Goodbye church? brought back some memories of tearful nights we had wrestling with similar thoughts.

I'm pretty upset with what I'm hearing again and again ... unhealthy leadership in churches and so called "Christian" business. This will be one of the most damaging elements in Malaysian Christianity if left unchecked and undealt with.

We need "better" alternatives ... Christian commuities which are willing truly practice servant leadership. I remember a time because I trying so hard to not even step near "authoritarian", "manipulative" and "abusive" that I almost landed up with "no leadership" ... Todd Hunter's words give me some hope with God's help we can do better:

The answer to deconstructing ineffective, unethical or manipulative leadership is not to throw out leadership altogether. In the Bible, in the history of cultures, and even in the animal world, there is no such thing as “no leadership”. Leadership simply exists; it is more like the law of gravity than an option—like say a sunroof—on a car. We have a lot of options to construct positive alternatives for leadership, but “no leadership” is not one of them. Taking that tack just creates a vacuum that sucks up into it the most needy, most verbal and often most unhealthy people. This is why a radical, uncritical egalitarian approach will not work. There are differences among people. The Bible uses language like “gifts” and “callings” to describe these differences. This does not have to lead to radical hierarchy any more than it has to lead to mindless egalitarianism. Lets think body life, humility and celebration of diversity. Leadership it simply a task: it doesn’t have to be sexy or celebrity driven; it can be functional, for the good of the body and the world, and done with holiness (see Jesus). " ~ answers from the other side

Healing Spiritual Abuse

When I read these words, I bought the book and worked through it page by page ... a good amount of healing came out from it. (For Malaysians it's available in SUFES I think ... unless I bought the last copy for my church library)

"Many of us have gone through bad church experiences that have left us feeling like failures. Blaming ourselves, we asked for God's forgiveness, but felt distant from the church and sometimes from God too.

With clarity and refreshing honesty, Ken Blue answers these questions and offers hope and healing to the victims of spiritual abuse. In addition he shows Christian leaders how to avoid abusive patterns and instead offer Christ's gospel of grace to every casualty of bad church experiences."

Maybe some of our cases are in different degrees of seriousness but the Gospel of Grace must be heard once again!

Little Vietnam

May Chin, Gareth, little cousin Darlene and Grandpa and Granma Long had vege filled dinner there at

My wife says they are expensive though!

But these words from "A Churchman In Vietnam" from Newsweek International prove stimulating ...

"... we want the intellectualism of Europe, the practicality of the United States—and the heart of Asia.

... Christ harmonizes heaven and earth and brings peace among people. Here we do not stress original sin but the Christ who came so we can have a more abundant life. That's the Good News. When people here become Catholic they tell me they have not converted, but completed what they believed before."~ Cardinal Pham Minh Man

Local originals

Added some new blogs I'm reading original locals (Malaysian Flavours!) I must say. They are ...

SimianD (who's a fantastic debater-speaker for his age ...)

Yoshua (his sound effects when describing stuff is better than THX or whatever)

Messy Christian (who made me think I should have kept my identity secret ... real messy pastor maybe? *grin*)

Got picked!

"Christians are spending far too much time complaining about liberals, and far too little time seeking the kingdom of God" ~ Postmodern Areopagus

Well that was a good quote for the day! And right under neath this quote emergingchurch.info was nice to include me on their this months' pick of the blogs :-)

Unfinished Business

I'm stuck and have not got my discussion forum up and running. Kiffer has been bugging me. He even has set up the lounge and the door in to get things started. Go ahead and register if you like ... say something if you want to .. make some noise :-)

I'm the last one to submit to BLC's Easter Edition of Mustard Seed (back issues here). It's just one page but my thoughts are running all over the place.

another "plannning" meeting afterwards, one more next week for a international conference. This is definately not what I enjoy doing ... but somehow it's part of still wanting to be a "servant" and input some "seed changes" with longer term impact?!

Looking forward for this year's week long Stations of the Cross journey (interesting link via Kevin Rains). A lot of behind the scenes work still in progress ... a guide, plenty of stations not up yet but need to be before Monday evening when it all starts 7.30 - 9.30pm (open for people to come) ... I did wonder what happens if it's only me sitting in the church? (then it's a "Me and You, Jesus" I suppose!)

Our first council orientation meeting coming up on Saturday, that needs preparation ...

Oh yeah ... speaking at a CF meeting tomorrow, must settle that as well ...

better stop here ... there's more ... I'll just "pause" and "center" myself at least for 5 minutes with a cup of warm water.

Quran = Bible?

This is sparked by a question so i could prepare for a kind of open topic combined group meeting a while ago.

"The first thing to explain about the Bible is that it is quite different in its form from the Qur'an. The Qur'an Shareef is presented as the direct speech of God. Of course it came through Muhammad, but he is thought of as the channel through which water flows without affecting the taste in any way.

The Holy Bible, on the other hand, was written not in a few years by one person but over many centuries by many different people. In it God often speaks directly, but sometimes through the thoughts and words of holy people. He also speaks through history, and most importantly, in the Person of Jesus Christ. " ~ from Reading the Bible

Messing with Mondex

It all started with an email to me on a powerpoint sent to one of BLC's leaders about "Mondex Bio-chip" info connecting it with a certain interpretation of Revelation 13 especially the mark of the beast.

My immediate unrefined email reply was this ...

A quick reply from me ..
1. I've heard this 10 years ago even i my teenage years, nothing new but maybe more detail.
2. Question who's the source? it's not in the powerpoint
3. The interpretation of REvelation is shaky ... out of historical context .. normal for end-time enthsiasts (which as u know I'm not)
4. we're saved by grace through faith in Jesus Christ, not whether we have a chip in our head or hands ( i think many people miss the point here)
5. What's the purpose of this powerpoint ? warning? caution? ... point taken .. however, I feel it generates a kind of anti-intellectualism I don't like ... (I don't think this kind of presentation will win the world to Christ ... I'm not convinced and I'm, already a Christian)
6. I know many Christians believe this kind of stuff (or nonsense depending what's your view),it shows 2 things ... one a lack of big picture view of the Bible, and lack of balanced view of the world. Conspiracy theories are attractive ... and simplistic as well. But that's how religious fundamentalist fuel fear and hatred.
7. I'd prefer to say "ok! maybe this is true, I might check it out" but my number one priority remains, love God and love people, in community and share the news and serve the world.
8. hope that helps ...

here's what snopes.com has to say about it! Click here

Many of my Christian friends get excited with this kind of info ... I don't. I have other important stuff I'm "passionate" about. For now it's preparing for Holy Week starting next Monday and an adapted version of the Stations of the Cross entitled Journey to the Cross.

Ambiguity

"People are not caught between a generalized good or a generalized bad. They are caught in the bind of two quite specific goods and two quite specific bads -- or (perhaps more likely) among several options, none of which is good or bad."

"The homilectical plot must catch people in the depths of the awful discrepencies of their world -- social and personal. It is to these very discrepencies that the gospel of Jesus Christ is addresses." (p. 25, The Homilectical Plot)