Sivin Kit’s Garden

Ewan joined all of us at BLC in the morning and with the family in the evening to celebrate Mummy and his Grandmothers.  It’s his first Mother’s Day exposure (plus indoctrination! :-)) He looks intrigued by the whole celebrative mood around him!

All the children in the Kit family are so blessed with these women of faith and faithfulness who make us better people along this journey called life.

I have always loved being at the Lutheran Mission Bungalow at Cameron Highlands.  To Elysia that is "Cameron Highlands" .. every where else isn’t even thought geographically it’s accurate :-)  In some ways, I tend to agree with our no.2.  She has insights that I don’t have.

Three days Two nights is a little too short for a retreat.  The travel itself takes a minimum of 3 hours from Kuala Lumpur. So that’s half a days worth of travel.  But for me, I think it’s more like, I just got warmed up and then I have to leave for KL.

Maybe because this is not a FULL do nothing - eat, sleep, read, solitude, etc - retreat.  We had 2 council meetings, and one Orang Asli village visit.  We didn’t plan a packed program but personal space was lacking compared to a "specialized solitude" retreat.

Of course, our purpose for this trip was not for "solitude" so I don’t have anything to complain about.  As far as fun and relaxation, we had our share.  And for the council we managed to cover our agenda.  A special for me was we had holy communion with our sister companion Orang Asli congregation in Batu 20th, and a good intro to the new lead pastor for the whole area Rev. Choo and his wife.

This trip was hard because the kids weren’t in 100% tip top shape health wise.  So, it was kind of hard on May Chin, especially when I was in the meetings. But overall, the children loved their time there.  Especially no. 1 Gareth and no.2 Elysia who could play freely with their friends.  Run all they want, go on the swings and see-saw, pick flowers, etc.

Food as usual is excellent … I mean Fantastic … Awesome … and whatever superlatives I can dish out …. but I will leave it for your imagination.  Words cannot fully describe the experience.  I’ll throw some pictures … but it’s still not the real thing. Here’s the lunch sample …

I found it interesting that both Gareth and Elysia prefers to eat at the Mission Bungalow.  I think it’s not just the food but the environment and even the "service."

I’ve always liked eating there too.  I remember a conversation yesterday, where we said that even when we are full we still continue to eat because the food is so tasty!

Just writing about this makes me hungry right now.

I didn’t manage to read much this trip.  Laughed quite a bit.  Had the usual snacks.  Slept well in general.  Thoroughly enjoyed the newly improved water pressure for the hot showers. A little sad that some part of the land area has been reclaimed by the original owners for that part.  That is no one’s fault.  But there was a sense of loss. Sigh … the realities of life even for a place of rest and refreshment!

So even with all the good stuff we experienced the last few days overall, somehow I’m always brought down to earth by one or two imperfect realities.  It doesn’t take away the joy from the Highs…. but it does keep my celebrations in moderation

There’s more to share, but I’ll leave it for another day … after a long drive, a little nap while helping the kids sleep, I’m slowly getting back into rhythm. All this while having a good instant message chat which reminds me to reduce my work!

Yes, she still pretty much looks the same. My beloved wife who celebrates her thirty-something  birthday today.  The same day with her mom, which is a rare.

Her aunt and my mom go way back to the first generation youth fellowship in Christ Lutheran Church, Setapak. I’m not too sure whether May Chin and I met when we were small.  May Chin’s parents haven’t come to church yet.

I do distinctly remember meeting May Chin in Sunday School when I was 9 years old before my "prodigal" phase.

We had crazy times when we met again in our teens.  Pretty much grew up in church together. She has had an illustrious "career" in co-curricular school activities as well. Let’s not forget about her Christian Fellowship involvement too.

During her LLB days, we have adventurous times while I was in seminary. Watching her move into different phases of her career is also quite an educational experience for me.  She is definitely a leader in her own right.

And now, she is the mother of our three kids. Ewan’s look pretty much says it all, it’s one of those -"Hey, don’t you think my mom is cool?" - kind of look. Family is very important for her.  So, how she juggles all this … with a nut-case husband like me, and energetic three kids .. is absolutely amazing (please feel free to add your own superlatives in relating to that)

Well … Happy Labor Day (especially laboring for us four), The kids and I salute you .. We are grateful for everything.

Happy Birthday, dear.

May you continue to blossom in all the ways God intends you to be.

Ewan the cool kit … who’s quite a handful in his own right.  It’s such a blessing to see him with his smiles and inquisitive gaze at you.  Melts your heart.  While many told us having one boy and one girl is good enough and the Chinese character for "Good" is the combination of female and male (i.e. ?). The addition of Ewan has brought pleasant delights.  Of course, I don’t deny the demands on our energy is higher than ever.  And I’m amazed how we are still coping.  Especially, when all three want "Mummy" (most of the time!) and than "Papa" is roped in to the rescue.

But this little paragraph is about Ewan, and he likes to be carried (don’t all babies do?!) He’s got this fun giggle when I do shadow boxing with him, and sing a Papa New Guinea song I learnt. My favorite moments is when he smiles back if I initiate a friendly smile especially in the morning.

Ah .. Big Brother Gareth loves to read. And when he’s really into it … he’s really into it.  Asterix is a current favorite which reflects more on my taste than his! But he enjoys the comics.  We have occasional conversations over the adventures of the Gauls and their exploits with the Romans. We’re still working on his recognition of words and reading skills.  But at least he’s got a love for "reading" books - whether it’s comics like Asterix or the goodies he gets from the Kuala Lumpur Children’s library.

The Energizer bunny in the family Elysia with her favorite past time.  Jumping on the trampoline! Jump! Jump! And she jumps with so much passion and excitement. Looks like she might grow taller faster Sometimes, she asks me to hold her hand so she can jump higher …. Elysia has a way with words even though she’s three, and I’m always in awe of some of the sentences she utters.

Well, May Chin and I  thought two would be enough … and then a pleasant no. 3 came along. There are highs and lows no doubt. We are so aware of our inadequacies and our where we fumble and stumble. And in terms of the distribution of our energy, the demands on us emotionally, and the juggling of time it’s no joke … but, there are rewards … the rewards of seeing these "younglings" grow and mature often beyond what we could ever imagine. What an awesome responsibility this whole parenting business is, but such rewards that are indescribable. Okay, I tried to articulate some thoughts the best I can …

In our wishes, small urgings, dreams and fantasies, we are given intimations of the way we are to go. It is our way alone and cannot be learned by reading books or listening to scholars or following others. We can learn our way only by taking seriously the sign that we see and the small voice that we hear. These we must treasure up in our hearts and ponder over. The code we are to decipher is written into our genes and sent out to us, as it were, from the core of our beings.

- Elizabeth O’Connor, The Eighth Day of Creation

(via inward/outward)

May Chin and I were talking about who is more introvert or extrovert in the family, with special reference to the kids. Gareth will be happy reading books on his own, while Elysia will say bye to everyone when she leaves school - I mean she will go to other class rooms to say bye! And Ewan with his charming smile and inquisitive look - and a special alertness to the camera

Okay .. it’s premature to talk about specific careers or life partner choices … but there are interesting signs of the direction they are heading and the seeds of personality which will grow and blossom someday.  I am curious of what God is doing in them.  And as parents there are times when May Chin and I worry whether we are getting in the away, or concerned about how best we can best nurture them the best that we can.  Of course, as a former youth pastor and frequent listener to parents of teenagers, I wonder how we will fair when that eventful day of "terror" comes … but I think we are getting ahead of ourselves here.  One day at a time, step by step …  for our "younglings" as well as for ourselves too …

it’s serious business - the sign reading, and small voice listening process.  But we mustn’t stifle ourselves and especially our kids with overzealous parenting, or overanxious nurturing.  How do we find the balance towards holistic maturing for them as well as ourselves?  I don’t really have a formula or fool-proof equation.  There’s loads of experimentation but underneath all that is a simply an attentiveness birthed from a growing confidence in our faith in the Father who loves us, and the guidance from reflecting on scriptural wisdom, and trust in the word of the Spirit who works more than mysteriously … but meaningfully especially in hindsight. Whether it’s for the children God has entrusted us with (which is a big responsibility), or our own selves (where we can not evade responsibility)!

It’s quite a while since I posted up any movies Entertainment is not high on the agenda on this blog these days. But then, when it becomes a time when we can spend together as a family, then it’s okay.

Since the arrival of Ewan, we have been unable to pop in a movie theater.  That would be too much for us parents and the 3 kids nowadays.  But we can still manage to watch a movie on the notebook!

I’m glad Gareth survived the whole show compared to Happy Feet (which we left after some intense scenes of fierce seals!) But I noticed as a five year old turning six in October, he was able to grasp the key themes of the movie of friendship, bonding, love and loyalty. As usual, he’s easily troubled by the more intense scenes (especially when it involves even mild violence).  He got quite emotional at the end of the movie (actually I think I was getting a little choked up as well - but then I’m a softy when it comes to these kind of moments even if I know it’s fiction!).

Elysia is like her mom, asking questions along every scene transition I can imagine if we were in the theater, she would either be as much of the entertainment for the audience or a itching disturbance through out the movie.  Looks like we’ll keep the movie nights at home for a while.  Both of them loved the "water horse" when it was small and cute.  But were able to warm up to it even when it was gigantic and huge. I think the director must have done something right to help Gareth and the 3 year old Elysia to be able to make that transition effortless.

Ah … as for 5 month old Ewan,  he followed the movie for the first part while on mummy May Chin’s lap, and then on my lap, then taking some snacks in between … with mummy of course Since Elysia did all the questions, May Chin had no chance to ask hers because she was busy answering the daughter … phew!

There were nice little moments where we parents had our hugs with the kids, calming them down when things got a little scary, and giggling together at funny parts, … all in all family entertainment at it’s best.

Oh .. yes, entertainment is still not high on the agenda for this blog.  But if it connects to some relationship building, then it can get a mention as a supplement but not the main thing. 

WE NEED OTHERS to explore with us the edges of our fear and faith. We grow spiritually only in and through our relationship with God and with others.

- Rueben P. Job and Marjorie J. Thompson
Companions in Christ: Embracing the Journey

(via Upper Room Daily Reflections)

It’s becoming harder as I grow older to say good-byes. But, like it or not, it’s becoming more and more frequent the past few years.  After 2 of my good friends moved on one in Singapore and the other in New Zealand end of 2006, I thought I was left alone for a while to explore the edges of my fears and faith. But thankfully, Ian and Raj came along timely and three of us discerned the need for us to be fellow companions in Christ, sharing our lives, mutually trying to hear what God is saying to us, and praying for each other.  Todd joined us the last quarter of 2007, and the group became a pleasant four. We will become three again,  This time Ian will be returning home to the UK with his amazing wife and 2 wonderful girls! Those of us left behind in Malaysia wish him all the best.

Gareth told me last Sunday after church that he had a special Sunday school.  Apparently, they had a special foot washing ceremony.  "Papa, Uncle Ian washed my feet today, Papa." That broke me, and it still gets me choked up. It was not only special for Gareth but special for me too. Because Ian’s impact during his time here not only is in regards to his work, and also fellow companions - the big boys - in the above photo, but becomes even more significant in the memory of my 5plus year old son Gareth, when a "bigger" man humbled himself to show a "little" boy what servanthood is. It has imprinted in the heart of my growing son a meaningful memory and metaphor which will last a lifetime. It’s more than the symbolism of servant hood, but for a formative part of BLC’s Sunday School and Gareth’s experience of it (with the other kids), Uncle Ian (as they fondly call him) was their companion. "Are you going to miss Uncle Ian, Gareth?" I asked Gareth a while ago, he said, "Yes, Papa". Many of us will … Thanks Ian.

We had a nice final meeting on April Fool’s Day … which I was reminded in the evening that it was BLC’s birthday as well. So many vibrating thoughts are running in me right now.  But whether it’s my own journey, or the journey of BLC, the truth of "we need others" is one which I feel more convicted than ever. And this is no joke! With the amount of change, and pressure, and intensity some of us face on a daily basis especially when we seek to respond to a call to live life differently with faith, hope and love combined with justice, mercy and humility … it can be lonely. This is where at the right time, at the right moment, the right people come along side us .. and we become friends in conversation as well as friends in a common journey of discovering and rediscovering ourselves — and in the process our ultimate friend guides us gently along the way, and we get to know his will and his ways better too.

I can’t remember the four of us literally washing each others feet, but I know for sure we learnt a lot of about serving each other by humble listening and discerning prayer.  Oh yes, the meals after our monthly gatherings were always icing on the cake of friendship! Todd couldn’t join us for the last lunch for understandable reasons So the three of us went to the Baba Low’s 486 restaurant at Lucky Garden for old times sake.  

One thing I like about my daughter, Elysia … she knows where she is going? And she remembers who combed her hair (appreciatively) … Two important qualities at a young age, First, Having some direction in life and Two, gratitude to anyone who has helped her - even if it’s combing her hair … Simple stuff but even that is rare these days.

Elysia and I watching Gareth having a little learning curve to overcome!

HOLY JESUS,

I hear God’s mighty “Yes!”
in your Resurrection.
You invite me to live also,
and I want to say “Yes!” to you.
Take me out of the tomb that imprisons me,
lead me into the morning of new life,
and walk with me wherever your love may lead.
Amen.

- Peter Storey
Listening at Golgotha: Jesus’ Words from the Cross

(via Upper Room Daily Reflections)