Sometimes I wish everyday would be just a bright sunny day – and yet – the storms are never too far away. So often, I find myself living in between the extremes of these two opposites … one moment under the sun, at another moment under a cloudy sky.
How will the next few months turn out? what lies ahead? what role must I play? Of course, I’m learning again and again the art of waiting … listening .. thinking .. speaking … I wonder … by not saying “no” this time … whether it’s for the best .. I will find out soon. Submission … service … sorting … slogging … hmm …
I managed to give myself – a simple slow entry into some “personal space” that’s needed. And I will continue tomorrow … family adjustments brings to the forefront other personal adjustment that need to be made so things can “flow” better … then this leads to re-working ministry priorities … again “focus” … re-surfacing .. “primary calling” questions and this time .. settling on some answers.
I already felt strongly since last Friday … that some necessary “cut backs” are needed one one particular aspect of my ministry and work. I’ve grown in this area for many years but I’m also growing out of it without denying it’s importance.
There’s always an element of risk and the unknown … that attracts me and scares me at the same time. This keeps me “humble” and “hopeful” and I’m learning how to handle this paradox in the choices I make or do not make. More than once I’ve “jumped first, and feared later” … at times, I’ve just been “available” hopefully to be of some use. Right now, it’s all that is right before my eyes … right in front of me.
better get some sleep … I’m still “not sure” what all this is leading to … apart from tough lessons ahead in all aspects… I can only pray … and be faithful .. be ready as much as possible for all potential storms and always keep my heart open to celebrate every sunny day!
Kyrie Eleison … Maranatha!