Random Thoughts while everyone else is asleep


I was looking through the photos we’ve taken as part of the BLC story-journey. That’s a LOT of photos to look at. Both old style as well as loads and loads of digital stuff. This one on Gareth I think at least 3 years ago is simply awesome. How could I have missed this one 🙂

Time is moving so fast nowadays that it can become “frightening” if I don’t pause and allow some of those “frames” of life to freeze. Looking at the past 6 years brought back lots of memories, some emotions, many insights … little “whispers” here and there.

This exercise of looking through 6 years of pictures – was part of an Awareness Examen exercise I’ve been practising more intentionally the past three weeks. It’s been helpful to have a fresh look at where I took baby steps forward, slipped, took steps back or even fallen flat on my face. This exercise is a conscious choice to sit down and have a greater awareness and understanding of my life script and where it could go from here.

Things are so unpredictable these days .. a “yes” can become a “no”, a “no” might turn into a “yes”, and there’s lots of non-commital moments inbetween. I think I read from Lewis Smedes’ book Caring & Commitment this quote that has stuck in me since, “When a person makes a promise, she reaches out into an unpredictable future and makes one thing predictable: she will be there when even being there costs her more than she wants to pay. With one simple word of promise, a person creates an island of certainty in a sea of uncertainty.””. Watching John Q accidently on TV created some space in me to process this a little bit more.

Googled and found more quotes from Smedes on keeping promises which is rare these days: “Yes, somewhere people still make and keep promises. They choose not to quit when the going gets rough because they promised once to see it through. They stick to lost causes. They hold on to a love grown cold. They stay with people who have become pains in the neck. They still dare to make promises and care enough to keep the promises they make.”

The Nasi Lemak and Chicken today at a nearby stall was better than I expected, so was the Ice Lemon Tea. These are little gifts (yes even though I had to pay for it) that brightens up a rainy night.

Noticed that even though we have different races seated in close proximity with each other there was no interaction. It was more of different races grouped around their respective tables and taking to each other with little contact with the “Other” who was unlike them. I sat alone.

After reading Genesis 1 during our worship practice tonight, I’m reminded again that it was “evening and morning” then it was one day. It’s the evening right now, and the clock is ticking fast (at least steadily) moving towards morning… I’m getting ready to sleep while trusting God is still at work while I rest (in ways I’m not conscious of.)

Sometimes I wonder whether I’ve grown up or am becoming more like a child. Especially after enjoying playing Wiggly Worms with Gareth this morning as well as little things which give me a great sense of joy when I least expect it.

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