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Random Thoughts on Holy Saturday

Posted on 7 April, 200716 April, 2007 by admin

IMG_8579_stones.jpg IMG_8573_squares.jpg

Watching a surge of energy in one of the long sleeping blogs brings a smile to my face. He writes well and I wish him well … keep on blogging.

Mixed feelings tonight. Scattered thoughts too. Good Friday ended with some lingering phrases and pictures in my mind. A decent supper followed. This morning started pretty good with the family until an unexpected invasion of words (or to be more precise the affect of some words).

as Lent is coming to a close, a prayer I heard earlier made me wonder too … whether it’s merely beginning for some. Maybe I’m not ready to end it yet. Is Easter coming too fast?

Just got news someone I prayed for when she was young .. is moving to another church for new beginnings. Wow she even gets an official announcement and blessing … that’s pretty cool.

It’s interesting the last year, I’ve had the chance of watching how friends transitioned from “fulltime” church related ministry into what is commonly called as a “secular” job. Personally, I’m supportive of whatever they do since I do not hold to the secular/sacred divide when it comes to our calling and vocation. There is a time for everything and we are surely more than our “jobs.”

I’m wondering about the twists and turns of how our life evolves these days. It’s hard to be static. We are always in some kind of change or transition. Never seems to end.

Even for relationships there’s an ebb and flow, up and down, nearness and distance … old and new .. coming and going …. It’s not that one wants it to be this way. It’s just that the way it is. Living with this reality is a challenge. Don’t we all prefer something more within our control? Aren’t we more comfortable when things are predictable?

There have been numerous moments of joy this past Lent even in the midst of plenty of soberness. Frankly, sometime I wish the experience of happiness can be longer before the next whack in the face comes. But then life is unpredictable?

Of course, one can choose the route of a heart that can’t be touched by the discomforting. But then after too long that heart might be too calloused until it can’t be moved by genuine need or inspiration.

The road less travelled is a lonely road. I’m still glad some are willing to tag along. Some are no where in sight. We are all preoccupied. There’s so much which demands our attention. As humans, we can only focus on a limited and often only a handful of things. No messiah complex here. Though the temptation is real.

The word “Nut” was used to describe me in a funny and yet encouraging little article in our church newsletter. I’m reminded of a phrase I think is from Leonard Sweet – NUTS = “Never Underestimate The Spirit”. This is one lesson I’m savoring the last 7 years – especially lately.

Suddenly, I feel like offering thanks for all those who allowed me to be “open” with them about my crazy musings … I think I valued that space in the long run because I used it to learn lessons of “obedience” which was not to impress those who are watching but to deeply respond to the One who has called me …

Before I came home I got a phone call. The voice over the phone was weaker than usual, lacked the punch and was obviously sad. Would one have to walk through a significant milestone alone? … maybe … and often we do. I felt sad too. A quiet prayer was offered. I thought I’ll end this post preparing for Easter with a life-giving injection of joy … The voice over the phone this time was full of energy and joy … even thought one’s faith journey is no doubt personal, but it’s always great to have our loved one walk with us closely … on seconds thoughts, our faith journey is never just personal, it’s more than personal … it’s communal … let’s take it further , it’s public … a little bit more … it’s missional …

Do we prefer life like the blue and brown boxes in the right picture above? maybe that’s possible as mental models huh?

Mine (and I think most of us) would see our lives like the broken stones on the left, can that still be beautiful?

On Holy Saturday, we’re left with some suspense. But my “mother theresa” friend keeps on reminding me tonight … Easter is coming.

6 thoughts on “Random Thoughts on Holy Saturday”

  1. peiling says:
    7 April, 2007 at 11:00 pm

    “I’m wondering about the twists and turns of how our life evolves these days. It’s hard to be static. We are always in some kind of change or transition. Never seems to end….Don’t we all prefer something more within our control? Aren’t we more comfortable when things are predictable?”

    I’m reminded in smtg i learnt in my culture lecture few weeks back, where they say asians in general are of high uncertainty avoidance.. where we’d have everything planned out, and we don’t welcome surprises, we prefer things organised and planned, doing things the conventional way.

    ur post helped me appreciate the Lord Jesus more, remembering that though humans and circumstances always change, He doesnt, and He was always the same yesterday, today and forever. what a contrast to an ever-changing world.

  2. Alex Tang says:
    7 April, 2007 at 11:03 pm

    Hi Sivin,

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings. I always feel so privileged to be allowed into your sacred sapce. Thank you, my brother.

    Yes, life is constantly changing and we are constantly whacked with one emotional punch after another. Sometimes I too wish I do not feel so much emotions. Especially during Triuum when our emotion barometers are set to extra sensitive. Here I am feeling sorry for myself. Yesterday was a mad rush to finish my morning clinc to reach church at 12 noon for Good Friday service where I have to preach. Today, I have to prepare my Easter sermon tomorrow. On Monday I have a spiritual directors’ meeting followed by a pastoral team meeting. Then on Tuesday and Wednesday I have to lead a retreat for some seminary students in Singapore. I am tired and physically,emotionlly and spiritually drained.

    On this Holy Saturday where Jesus took His Sabbath rest before being resurrected, I am looking at the two pictures you have posted above. One is haphazard, disorderly, uneven, and even dangerous. The other is orderly, well arranged, sanitised, clean and safe. I am so tempted to choose the safe, clean one on the right. Then I remember what Bonhoeffer said, “When Christ calls us, he calls us to die.” Sigh, I’ll have the left one please.

  3. Sivin says:
    7 April, 2007 at 11:08 pm

    peiling, the funny thing is sometimes it’s a little scary at first when i sense it’s Jesus who is initiating the changes in our lives. so, while he is consistent in his love for us (and I get a feeling he showers extras when we need it the most), he moves with a graceful surprise and unexpected timing. Kind of what someone who is truly alive would do 🙂

  4. Sivin says:
    7 April, 2007 at 11:16 pm

    Thanks for sharing too … wow looking at your schedule and the demands it takes on you makes me look “relaxed” by comparison.

    Seems like the left one is … our portion isn’t it?

    Take care .. my friend .. the Lord be with you. Let’s finalize our sermons together, as we learn to die together .. and surely in Christ … Live together too?! … “So say we all” (I mean, Amen?)

    i’m off to some time of ambient music, silence and solitude … I thought of starting my journaling for this new season on a day of ultimate liminality … holy saturday.

  5. z says:
    8 April, 2007 at 12:47 am

    “Even for relationships there’s an ebb and flow, up and down, nearness and distance … old and new .. coming and going …. It’s not that one wants it to be this way. It’s just that the way it is. Living with this reality is a challenge. Don’t we all prefer something more within our control? Aren’t we more comfortable when things are predictable?”

    “Frankly, sometime I wish the experience of happiness can be longer before the next whack in the face comes. But then life is unpredictable?”

    thanks for this sharing. right now i’m really, really tired of life’s unpredictabilities and uncertainties. in a way, i’m glad to hear that other ppl experience this too, and if that’s true, then it can’t all be “my fault.” this means that maybe i’m not in the wrong place, making wrong decisions.

    or maybe i am, i don’t know. hmmm.

    right now, i have to confess that the cry of my heart is not to know or love Him better, it’s to see my life like the blue stones on the right. i know it shouldn’t be this way, but that’s what i really really want.

  6. peiling says:
    8 April, 2007 at 3:48 pm

    i agree.. but what i mean abt the changes in humans and circumstances is when they dont live up to their promises to us, and disappoint us. thats when we truly are humbled and realised that it is Him alone who remains who He was and is and will be.

    interesting insight there =)

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