Sivin Kit's Garden

Reading BLOGS

May Chin read the blogs from this Garden last night. (ok! I actually printed the whole May entries for her - my wife needs to know what's going on in her husbands mind & heart!). She was kind to me :-), I was glad she liked what I wrote. So, we talked about some of the stuff. Then, I talked about her writing and we just rolled in laughter ...

I've been reading quite a number of people's Blogs lately ... some very frequently, others just occassionally .. I thought I'd put up some quotes and links. Feast thyself!

I should be younger than these guys and gals!

"Sometimes the best thing any of us can do, Christian or not, is to think through what it is we ACTUALLY, REALLY believe about God and where we are in regard to issues of “control”. Sit down and think about it some day…" ~ Todd Hunter

"Here is a prayer that I have abducted from N.T. Wright and edited. It is as easy as breathing in (first line) and breathing out (second line). Actually prayer should be as effortless as breathing. This prayer reminds me of that point. It is constructed to be prayed together as a community or as an individual.

Father Almighty, Creator of heaven and earth
Set up your Kingdom in our midst (my life).

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of he Living God
Have mercy. Save me from the idols of our/my making.

Holy Spirit, Breath of the Living God
Renew us/me and through us/me renew your world." ~ Winn Griffin

"we need to stop being "the guys with the great theology, but don't know what to do with it" and start becoming "the guys with the great theology, who can make real and authentic among postmodern generations, and all people, the good news of god in christ in a culturally understandable way." ~ Karen Ward

"DIALOGUE is what changes our lives-- listen to this interview with Theodore Zeldin, one of the most important thinkers in the world, & author of "Conversation: How Talk Can Change Our Lives" ~ dj chuang

"Why do some disciples keep on learning? If you worried about the drop outs you would never teach a class at St. Lawrence College. And if a minister is discouraged by those who get miffed, burn out and despair quickly set in. Jesus' point in the parable of the Sower is that some of those who are planted in the good soil will go on to yield a hundredfold, and that is plenty for a harvest. When Jesus saw the large numbers who dropped out, Jesus asked the twelve, "Do you also wish to go away?" Simon Peter answered him, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life."

Those who go on to complete a tough course at St. Lawrence College have settled that the alternative is a miserable low-paid job that will never get them anywhere. And people remain as disciples of Jesus because they take a hard look at the alternatives, and they can see there is no other Way, or Truth, or Life (John14:6). " ~ Robert Brow

Some Younger than me fellas I read ...

"Stagnation equals death, in biological, artistic, and intellectual terms. (---- --, what is art?!) Movement is key. " ~ Yang Jerng

"Life is like that, i guess. Got to take the bitter with the better. " ~ Kiffer

"here's what Mark Twain wrote:

At first, God made idiots. Then He made the school boards

ok, so maybe God didn't make idiots... in fact, He obviously didn't... but i think Mr. Twain had a point... that i still have to figure out..haha " ~ Wai Nyan

whether older or younger ... it's fun reading other people's blogs ..who knows what can happen? Laughter or tears ... a pause or an impetus to move ... blog on my friends!

The PLAYFUL, the MUNDANE and the PROFOUND -Adding flavor & flowers to my LiFE!

Most of the time life is MUNDANE as reminded by my lunch partner today. go to work, come home, eat and sleep, maybe some sports, that's it. And one wonders is that all to life? (something I hear frequently nowadays)

It's either I'm growing older (i.e. maturing) or simply because I'm a pastor (trained to appreciate the ordinary) - that I've come to appreciate that in the midst of the MUNDANE sometimes, and quite often .. we can find something PLAYFUL or PROFOUND. Then even the most routine and most ordinary of events can be changeds in a glimpse of an eye to that which adds flavor and flowers (heheh) to an earthly existence.

Now reality tells me that is not always the case. So, here are some things I do to bring in the playful and makes space for the profound.

1. I make some effort to "Fully Participate" in Christian Community (esp. LiFE Group) and Worship (Sunday Worship is a highlight). I don't say this just because I'm a pastor. I say this as a Christian, these are special gifts I believe God has given us a time to "connect" with each other and a time to "worship God" together ... I love it.

2. I look through my Mobile-phone Address book or Name cards and call someone that grabs my attention immediately.

3. I look at some old or new photos like this one with Gareth and Jannell... and wah lah!

4. READ something non-related to what I do (i.e. pastoring). Now, I'm reading old issues of "National Geographic"! The quote "Playful, mundane, profound" is from one article I read few days ago.

5. Watch GOOD - I REPEAT good movies ... watched "Billy Elliot" last night with May Chin. It was nice (brought back some memories of England for me). The story from Boxer to Dancer was fun and touching... such grace and elegance!

6. Have a fun night at TOASTMASTERS CLUB ... some take it very seriously but it's the more PLAYFUL part for me ..

7. Go and have lunch with someone - from BLC or beyond ...

8. Read other people's BLOG ...

9. BLOG myself ....(like now)

10. Go out DATING with My WIFE! Appreciate Mom-in-law for taking care of Gareth (special arrangement) .. hehe!

11. Add to this 10-point list ...!

Now then my Life is more flavorable ... and I can see flowers ...

Power & Authority

Visited a corporate company AGM today (in proxylah! the only shares I got are invisible and intangible, hahah!). The Directors, CEO and big guns were lined up with their dignified ties and coats. The Common folk (i.e. shareholders) squished into their theater seating just there to pass resolutions, propose, and second stuff. What a contrast of power (in practice), even though the common folk was supposed to approve the increase of Director fees for a not very profitable company (at least for last year). Of course, some came just for the goodies (maybe). We just got a fast-food chain voucher and a plastic note holder (not much considering the thousands approved to these big guns).

I wonder how do these directors, CFO & CEO, etc. truly serve the interest of the common shareholder. Do they really have their best interest in mind? Question marks popping all over my brain circuits!!! The picture so far, is obvious (at least in this case) or to be more moderate - questionable (did I say question marks earlier?!).

Sad to say, if this turns out to be the picture in Christianity as we know it (today), then we're doomed. Church history tells me, we've been in this kind of scenario before and the common folk are always at best ignored, at worse abused. Right from a local assmbly of believers to the so called dying "Christendom" - the danger has been, is currently and will be there.

Maybe that's why the 17-century Pietist I'm studying now like Arnt, Spener and Francke are my heros. The trio just fires me up ... because they were for the people .. the focus was on building up the people of God not drying them up for themselves. And my other current World War Two Christian Martyr Bonhoeffer expands me further, because in my last reading of "Life together" on Ministry, authentic authority comes from genuine service of the other.

Their example is a total opposite from what I sensed today at the AGM of so and so company. Okay, I admit I'm biased against much corporate jargon and practices. Maybe I don't understand enough. But, the fact remains. Maybe slavery has not been abolished, but merely "mutated" into a different form embedded in economics, politics and ideology.

The message I represent, and the master whom I serve and the methods I need to use - is about Freedom ... Freedom to bless the other .. It's about power as well - but power to love in action, and authority talk isn't absent ... but it's a kind of authority that builds up human dignity not break or sacre the image of God in us. High ideals indeed. Counter-cultural? Absolutely. Impossible? Depends who's side you wanna be on ... I rest my case for now ...

Hypocrisy Re-visited

We were knocked out by Acts chapter 5 especially on the death of Ananias and Sapphira at my LiFE Group meeting last night. It seems so strange for two people to die because they "lied to the Holy Spirit". Could it be we've been toying with this fuzzy-wuzzy-let-me-do-what-I-want-with-no-consequences-god (now that's a mouthful)?

My friend & mentor Robert Brow's Commentary (for the full commentary go to ACTS OF THE APOSTLES COMMENTARY) was helpful,
"The story is very upsetting. A couple sold some property (as did Barnabas in 4:36-37) and they gave part of it as a donation to the church in Jerusalem. The problem is that they had agreed to pretend they had given the whole amount of the proceeds to God's work. They were not required to give anything, and it would have been acceptable for them to say they were only giving a part of the proceeds for the work of the community (5:4). So Peter accuses them of lying to the Holy Spirit by trying to deceive the church community, "You did not lie to us but to God" (5:4).

The couple both died, presumably from a heart attack (5:5, 10). And what triggered the heart attack seems to have been the shock of their hypocrisy being exposed in the community. Whatever the cause of death, the important lesson for the early church was that hypocrisy is a deadly cancer in the body of the church. If the various organs of our human body ever began deceiving one another, we would quickly die. "

Hypocrisy(i.e. pretending to be what we aren't) is one contagious disease that requires "eradication" from my life and the community i live in. But, I think Christians have gotten an unfair amount of bashing related to this word. here's where Brow made an interesting comment later,
"It is interesting that outsiders fault Christians for being hypocrites, forgetting that there are hypocrites among politicians, salesmen, teachers, doctors, and many parents." (for more go to Rights and Wrongs chapter 3).

Hypocrisy is a disease that can affect all walks of life .. from the family to the wider society. The antidote is IMHO HONESTY to oursleves and others and HUMILITY to change and be changed for the better!

Unwillingly ... Strangely ...

"In the evening I went very unwillingly to a society (meeting) in Aldersgate street, where one was reading Luther's preface to the epistle of the Romans. About a quarter before 9, while he was describing the change which God works in the heart through faith in Christ, I felt my heart strangely warmed. I felt I did trust in Christ alone, for my salvation, and an assurance was given me that he had taken away my sins, even mine, and saved me from the law of sin and death."
~ John Wesley, May 1738 (emphasis mine)

UNWILLINGLY .... he wasn't too ready, or excited, or even desiring to go to this meeting. The saying goes "when there's a will there's a way". But for Wesley, he didn't even have much will in him but STRANGELY he still met the WAY in an unexpected way.

UNWILLINGLY ... at first, I attended this "meeting" that I knew next to nothing about, didn't know why I was selected and worse, not knowing what can I contribute. STRANGELY ... I learnt quite a lot about people, about what's running in the minds of some Christians and what they perceive about pastors, church leaders. Interestingly, with some "corporate" and "business" jargon that was floating around I survived!

UNWILLINGLY ... I thought going to this other "appointment" might turned out to be futile. Again, I feel inadequate with handling the unknown. STRANGELY, again I was brought to a deeper understanding of people with learning difficulties and the affects (plus strain) on one's family.

UNWILLINGLY, I restarted my "ordination paper" - Lutheran Pietism: Implications for Church Renewal within the Lutheran Church in Malaysia & Singapore. STRANGELY ... reading "Turning Points" by Mark Noll, especially the chapter on "The New Piety" .. warmed my heart especially with Wesley's quote.

UNWILLINGLY. at times I wake up trying to calm Gareth down. STRANGELY, he smiles ... he just wants to be carried.

There are so many times I land up doing somethings "UNWILLINGLY" ... and I could have just ignored them, whether it's a phone call or email, or a meeting, a time of solitude, prayer, etc. But STRANGELY, God's grace breaks through and surprises me with his blessing, his inspiration, his love.

So often, I hear nowadays, about our "unwillingness" to be so called "forced" or do something unless we're excited about it. But then again, are we missing out on possible "Strangely" blessed moments. I'm not saying that life is always a drag and we need to grind our teeth and live devoid of any "fun". But, then there's lots of things that need to be done. And the "fun", results and happiness STRANGELY comes after we do them. We're not always going to be "very willing" in many things we do, but "Stangely" a lot of good things come that way as well ...

Silence & Speech

"What we cannot speak about
we must pass over in silence."
~ Wittgenstein

There's so much I find it hard to speak about. More and more I find that there's so much that is beyond the grasp of my finite human mind. The quest for truth and understanding is deep in me, but especially with Grandma's Funeral I admit (again!) - we humans are so limited, we need FAITH. Especially in matters we cannot speak about .

A lot of the "whys" and "Hows" are included here: Why die now not last week or last month (we may speculate and imagine - all this is ok!) but still no concrete answer. How is the "I" moving on to God? The Christian Doctrine of Bodily Resurrection baffles me (even though it's hopeful and unique!) How do we understand the "communion" of the saints in this context when a loved one has just left us? (stuff like this is hard to articulate - we may try with some success but again limited.)

There's much to be silent about. And the SILENCE can be very Loud! But, as a Christian I don't have to fear the silence. I can accept it as part and parcel of human existence and adventure. The Silence is humbling .... because as Christians we imitate Jesus' Humble posture to life. Sad to say, it seems we are known more for our "noise" (at times way out of bounds of appropriateness) rather than our depth of character. Our Silence is also a form of witness ... genuine witness to God's gentle-firm character.

When a God-kind-of Silence is appreciated - a restful kind, the type that's open to "revelation" (i.e. Truth in Scriptures and in Christ guided by the Spirit). Then our speech would be potent with God's reality more than our human display of folly.

These few days, I felt that the awarensss of the interplay between silence and speech is crucial. I think of it's dynamic inside of me - my inner thoughts, feelings and reflections. Then how I interact with people - the conversations, the non-verbal gestures and postures, the listening as well as responding, and so on. then I even took note of how we fit into nature and it's rhythm. the interplay of sudden rain this morning with the later heat and sunshine. All this is just magnified today. There's much here that can be spoken about.

FAITH seeking understanding. Accepting SILENCE. Adjusting SPEECH. Learning. Growing. Conversing. Listening. Resting. Waiting....

Standing on "Solid Truth" - we speak with out fear, full of faith (confidence).
Sitting on "tentative" test thoughts - more silence, more listening ... still in faith.
Stretching myself ... withour breaking into pieces , knowing my limitations and how far I can go ... requires wisdom and lots of discernment.
I can go on and on ....

But right now ... I just want to Saturate myself with an inner "Solitude" - before God, before His Word, with the Spirit .. once again in humility. I'm grateful for the honor and privilege - so grateful, First to play some part in Grandma's spiritual journey from her baptism to her memorial/funeral and burial. And secondly, simply because of who I am in Christ -as a follower and pastor, prayerfully to play some part in the spiritual journey of everyone I came into contact with the past few days - especially family and friends.

May God use the interplay of Silence & Speech (plus a bit of the Singing) to fulfill His Kingdom Agenda - i.e. Changed Lives!

whatever comes to mind ... random

I conducted my own GrandMa's Memorial Service last night (the 1st of two).

Found out that these Christian services was indeed and will be a "testimony" & "witness" - like for my cousin niece it's only the second Christian funeral she has ever attended!

The weather is still so HOT!

A lot of people came ...

got some email & sms condolences

had a short "email" reply & exchange with Dr. Hwa Yung about "Tai-Chi"

got am email today initiating a conversation with a pastor who came for my worshop for DREAM Malaysia.

holding Gareth with my left hand now & typing with my right...

some relatives & friends seeing Gareth for the first time last night.

had some more in depth talk with one or two relatives.

sad to know a friend has plunged into trouble again affecting others too.

exhausted

Gareth trying to wiggle his way out & wondering what i'm doing

May Chin at her friends wedding registration, we'll miss the dinner tonight.

My Cantonese is urghh .. surviving

enjoy blogging

did some quizes linked by Kiffer .. puzzled with it

May Chin is a fantastic mom! me? a fun dad i think ...:-)

John Kit has new glasses that changes colour?!

the family seems ok.

good to have BLC members come to the service .. & other Christians too from EFC (cousin's church)

about Tai-Chi, a possible Christian response, want more integrated, deeper answer .. hope discussion with Hwa Yung & others may help.

thankful Alwyn Lau can help to take over for this sunday. Loretta & CBC was understanding for today's session ...

help me Lord tonight & tomorrow .. will conduct services alone .. be glorified, touch lives Lord

"Ah Po" ~ GrandMa ... my tribute

Yesterday evening about 6:00 -6:15pm (I'm not sure), "Ah Po" breathed her last and stepped into the Loving Arms of Jesus. I don't really know what to feel at this point it's still sinking in. We expected this more later than sooner since she was doing better than in the Hospital a couple of months back. It's still sudden. When is death predictable?

Rushed. Traffic. Arrangements. Phone-calls. Everything happens so quickely when it comes to "death". The coffin. The chairs & tables. Food. Informing loved ones. There's only "pockets" of moments when one can hear "how she died." (The final hours I was told a couple of Aunties and Uncles and A cousin was around.) They fill us with the details. Then as people come - conversations begin. We "philosophize" to help us go through every minute.

Me? I'm the Pastor of the family. A cousin said to me "Lei gao dim ga le." -Translated from cantonese .. "You can handle the rest" (meaning the memorial and burial. Never could I imagine, just last year I conducted GrandMa's Baptism, and now her Memorial and Funeral.

For me, some stuff just came to mind. Maybe this will be my sharing tomorrow night at the service. Today, thankfully Bishop Chang is helping in the sharing.

1. "The Chinese Soya Sauce Fish" she cooked.
No one could copy it at all. Even my "chef-extraordinaire" mom! My mind goes back to when i was 12 and I spent about six months staying with her during standard six in Mun Yee school. It was a good experience. We listened to the chinese folk story "Monkey God" on Redifussion every night. We watched the Hong Kong VHS series "Mo Jak Tin" (about the first Chinese Emporess). She took care of me and my cousin for a short time. I don't know whether you can consider us close. But there was somehow a "connection".

Well, the point is she's a unique as she can be with her trademark Brand 555 cigarretes (BTW, she quit it at will later). She's God'a Creation. One and only and each of our experience whether son, daughter, Grandchildren and Great-grandchildren and Great-great-grandchildren, etc was unique. I believe the final two years of her life was fullest. Especially, when Christ graced her final year. her baptism enhanced her uniqueness with the fragrance of Jesus.

2. "Look! Hsiao Ming my hands are so smooth" she told me in the Hospital and at Home.
We laughed. Even when she was weakest, she could still find something nice to talk about (appreciating little stuff). Even though her body was "fading away", we talked about her smooth hands. Quite a feat actually for someone who has been a butcher and I'm sure it wasn't a smooth going life. In the midst of this "fading" - she still found a treasure ... Apostle Paul's Words come to mind "I am weak but You are strong!" Strength and Joy can still be found in weakness and suffering.

3. "I'm ready to go ..."
We talked about death in the hospital. I asked her what she was thinking, she told me she was just thinking about the old days, and I think she was kind of re-playing the memories and different episodes. She was letting go some stuff (I guess) and getting ready (in some way - which I don'f fully grasp).

But she was not ready to go in the "Hospital" - a place marked by sickness, doctors, nurses, medicine bottles. Nope. I think she found she was more "ready" (and I guess God thought so too) to go at "HOME" - her place of safety, her place of rest. Jesus before he returned to the Father, said he has prepared a place for us. We can feel safe now and ... later when the time comes.

Time to STOP ... a while and ... MOVE ON slowly ...
We don't have time to be ready. We're too busy. But, at this funeral and memorial .. we're given a chance to "reflect" (kind of get ready a bit more). "Ah Po's" Life has become a mirror for me - like many of the funerals I've attended (this more personal). No one can be 100% ready (IMHO), but it's never too late to begin. It was never too late for "Ah Po" to begin her journey with Christ. There's so much we don't know about life after death, apart of bits and pieces God allows here and there in the Scriptures... But's it's enough to give me hope and assurance that all will be well. Right now, we know more baout what kind of life we want to carry on to "that place". For, me that's something we can immediately be part of - i.e. a different kind of life. A life which is a "Journey with Jesus" ... the promise is "I will be with you until the end" - The Final chapter is not death ... it's life forever in His presence! A place where we encounter God's perpetual smile and we can smile back ...

the last picture I have of Grandma (who's with May Chin and Gareth - her latest great-grand addition) can you see her smile? her joy? I sure can ...

Something on "Love" & "Marriage"

Here's what a kind soul commented on this Garden,

"just a short advertisement: wanna get some wonderful advice on life, love and other mysteries? try out ps. sivin kit's blog website.. ok, not so much on the "love and other mysteries" part, but he's got some good stuff to pick out, ..."

In response to the "not so much about love bit" I thought why don't I have some fun here.

I found this from www.topfive.org, my tweaked versions-contextualized-adapted-morphed-mutated .. are in the brackets and underlined

Things you and your spouse can do for practically nothing
• Hold hands and walk around the neighborhood. (For people who are stuck in the car together most of the time, hold hands in the car especially at the Traffic Light section)
• Read a book together aloud. (I think we should try this)•
Go to a park and cook out or picnic>(Go to the Pasar Malam together)
• Have a TV date at home. (ok! agree)
• Go to the beach. Park where it’s free. (we used to wallk around the lake in Taman Jaya while May Chin was pregnant until the recent construction work)
• Take a long walk at the mall. (I prefer to sit and read at some corner. Midvalley is too long a walk - occassionaly oklah!)
• Go on the hiking trails. (we're still recovering from the phobia of getting lost for 5 hours at Dart Moore England during our honeymoon.)
• Take a bike ride.(Take a LRT ride .. cost a little bitlah)• Go to a section of the city that is littered and clean it up together. (hmmm ... humbling .. )
• At your local grocery store volunteer to bag groceries. (They'll
chase us out here .. maybe ... but maybe we should try)
• Fly a kite. (Just enjoy the sunset together)
• Go fishing. (Feed the ducks at Lake Garden?)
• Swim at the local public swimming pool and get a tan together. (SARS is a concern now ... maybe a private swimming pool)

Seriously the following is really good ...

Ways to insure you’ll celebrate your 50th wedding anniversary

• Say “I love you multiple times each day” even if you are not a verbal person. You can learn new tricks even if you are an old dog. Wives need that verbal affirmation and most men don’t understand that dynamic.

• Say, “Thank you” often for the small things and common courtesies that transpire between the two of you each day.

• Go out on a date on a regular basis. I would recommend once a week, but I realize that is too frequent to be a reality for most. Twice a month should be workable by even the busiest.

(nothing tweaked here all original again from www.topfive.org)

Reading the Bible through Human Eyes ... together

We read from the Acts of the Apostles from chapter 3:1 to 4:32 last night at "LightHouse" (the LiFE Group I'm part of right now). And I was intrigued by the interesting and often illuminating sharing from the 8 of us. Ken Beng (who's a newly baptised Christian) pleasantly surprised me with his insight. Partly, because he comes from a totally unchurched background and in some ways less contaminated by Christianese or any form of pseudo-spirituality often lurking in churches. :-) Lord have mercy on us!

He highlighted for him, he wanted to be like "Peter" who did what Jesus did (i.e. brought healing to the lame man) but gave the credit and honor to Jesus. That's kind of like a little summary of "Acts". Now that Jesus has returned to the Father, we (the people of God - the church) continue to do and teach as Jesus did. We share not our own message, but the message (good news) of Jesus and the Spirit empowers us to CONTINUE his ministry here on earth. In that way, we are WITNESSES to our world for Christ. I was thorought refreshed by his reading as well as other inputs.

More exciting for me is the process, 8 humans who are Christ-followers were engaged in last night for about an hour plus. As we read the Scriptures through human eyes but submitting ourselves under the gentle guidance of the Spirit of truth, we unearth treasures at least from two ends. One obviously from God's Story as found in this case Acts. The other, indirectly is actually our Stories in the sace of our daily lives, inner thoughts and feelings plus experiences (which includes our history). And then, in our vulnerability and openness we share our stories as a gift to each other. Our Stories merge, morphes, and moves into a new "combined" version in this process of prayerful sharing while fitting into God's bigger Story (as revealed in the Scriptures). Now, as people who are "morphing" (with the help of the Spirit), we become more willing to be "moved" (not in just an emotional sense but in a directional sense - life direction), we're moved beyond our individual stories to God's grand purpose for all creation. As we continue this process individually daily, and as a church weekly (through smaller group readings like the LiFe Group) and (bigger groups like the worship gathering). I'm growing in confidence that we will be shaped more into Christ-likeness, and Kingdom Agenda.

Flame of Love ~ THE SPIRIT

I re-read this paragraph by Clark Pinnock in his very helpful book "Flame of Love - A theology of the Holy Spirit "

"The Spirit is elusive but profound and worthy of adoration. If Father points to ultimate reality and Son supplies the clue to the divine mystery. The Spirit epitomizes the nearness of the power and presence of God. St. John of the Cross (b. 1542) aptly calls the Spirit a living flame of love and celebrates the nimble, responsive, playful, personal gift of God"

I had a wonderful two sessions of Solitude, Silence, Meditation and Prayer yesterday and today. It's like a post-retreat afterglow .. which is so precious and rare when often Christians tell me they plunge into the valley very quickly. For now, I'm just enjoying the freedom and playfulness I crave for after some "burdensome" episodes. Thus, blog away ...

Introducing Wittgenstein

Icon books (UK) and Totem Books (USA) publish these "Introducing _______" books which are really fun! My bedtime reading right now is "Introducing Wittgenstein" (A 20-C Philosopher). Full of Pictures, little quotes here and there, there's a lot of fun as well as funny stuff too. And of course stuff (which is supposed to be complex) made simple for a beginner like me. It's part of my "non-Christian" reading this week.

Something struck me last night, there was this quote ...

"Remember - we just SPEAK to children and they learn. We don't have to explain what language is first"

Now that got my head spinning a while as I looked at Gareth sleeping. There's so much he's learning now even without me explaining. He's clapping (I didn't give him a course on handclapping). He's holding his "Ah! Smell!" book and bites it when he's not listening to me reading to him. We're SEAKING to him all the time. After the retreat, I debriefed the whole retreat with him, he just looked at me as I recounted significant moments. He's LEARNING, no doubt about that. He's even beginning to COMMUNICATE with his own "constructed" language - ohhs, ahhs, yells, cries, smiles, touches ...

I guess, there'll be a day where EXPLAINING comes in. But for now, it's EXPLORING all the way!

Storytelling Today

Going to the movies, watching movies and talking about movies have become part and parcel of my life. I caught X-men 2 and Matrix Reloaded before most of my church members partly because my Monday's are off so I'm more able to pop into a theater without the fuss of lining up for tickets (what a luxury!).

I asked myself, "Why do I enjoy Movies?" (Of course, there are loads of stuff I don't enjoy as well!). Is it just the whole deal about special (or visual) effects in these blockbusters? Is it just the hype? Or I'm just so free on Mondays? well ... bits and pieces of that, I suppose. But, deep down, I just enjoy a good story. And if the story is well presented, something in me gets sparked. Entertainment, yes, sure. Inspiration, at times. Disturbance, occassionally, especially after the movie "To End all Wars". Movie Directors have become IMHO the Global Storytellers of today. yeah, no doubt, many make big bucks. But, some still do a pretty good job telling stories through the medium of film.

It's like the fireplace of the ancient world is transported to the dim lights of the theater. The storytellers of old are now the Movie directors of today. Movies like Stories give us some windows to "meaning" and "significance". The Stories-movies-medium is shaped by us (our context) and shapes us. The medium may have changed but it's function remains.

Are the stories neutral? are the way of expressing the stories value free? I don't think so. The local Malaysian censorship seems to be snipping scenes which they feel are "harmful" for Malaysian eyes. - they seem to have a preoccupation with certain elements that hails as their form of "discernment" which often makes no sense (e.g. like turning a R-rated film in USA to U-rated in Malaysia just by snipping some nudity, violence, and foul language is too surface). For me the true discernment comes from plugging myself into the "Christian Story" as found in "the Man from Galillee" and the "witness" of the ancient scriptures from Israel and the early church. The best of my own culture helps a bit (right now I'm seeing how Bruce Lee did it! hehe) and any goodies from foreign friends (not Ghosts - as the Chinese like to call foreigners!) The resources are plenty. And this morning, I'm reminded the Paraclete (Spirit of Truth) is here to guide as well. Plus, there are people around me I could talk with. Plus, we all have "stories" to tell and "movies" to show. And the story of human history hasn't ended yet.

POST-RETREAT Sunshine!

I really enjoyed our three-day-two night "Take Me Deeper" retreat at Jelai Highland Resort, Fraser's Hill. The journey was a bit hard on us to and fro, there were quite a number of "casualties" when we were coming dowm (i.e. vomitting and dizzyness). But, overall this has been one of the most "restful" and "refreshing" (R & R right?) retreats I've been. Actually, this is the only second most R & R retreat. I'd like to add one more R - "Reflective". Here are some noteworthy observations and things I enjoyed a lot.

1. There was no main theme "human" speaker. There were many speakers and listeners. And I trust the Holy Spirit worked through many of our words and generous sharing of lives. Five groups with about 6-7 people was just nice. The Facilitators did an excellent job creating space for "conversations" and I could over hear "dialogue" everywhere .... we gathered back to hear each other's summaries and some enlightening thoughts popped up here and there.

2. The "scatterring" and "gathering" of individuals, groups and the whole retreat participants sounded like wonderful Rhythm of what Christian community was all about. We met in retreat groups (mixture of different people), we met as a whole (everybody comes together, we met as families or singles - some newly weds were separated for two nights (in our rooms), and we had time alone in Solitude ... all under the presence of the Spirit who blows where he wills. Oh, before I forget .. a special gathering always happened at Room 201, with a game of "taboo", laughter, noise, Maggi mee, potato chips! Then of course there we the little chats here and there, some serious, some not so serious. All in all, God was "moving" (i believe) in his own special way. This Vision can be tweaked into our daily life and the church life too.

3. A last minute Question and Answer time with Rev. Wolfgang and I was especially helpful for us to listen to concerns from the floor on "Guidance", "spiritual direction" and even "prophecy". Both of us I think liked the idea of responding to immediate questions while learning to make ourselves clearer. I'm thanksful there is still a place for us pastors-teachers to contribute and hopefully makes things clearer.

4. "Spontanous" Stuff ... the "makan" (eating) times were especially good for talking and just being with one another. Miriam's Birthday surprise was also great (BTW, so was the German-made cake!), then there was two jungle walks (i think), one official under the sunlight, one unofficial under the moon light (hmmm..), games of Pictionary (lots of noise here!) and Boggle (where Kok Yin is reigning champion no doubt!), I also discovered our resident Medicine woman Siew Poh who has fine tuned the art of dealing with "constipation" (wow!), great dancing by Ee Lyn and the gang ...

5. People behind the scenes ... I really appreciate Hoong Guit, Wai Kin, and Moh Foong, as well as anyone who made this retreat so relaxing for me especially because they just got everything settled. I trusted them (totally!) and I'm glad to see the results ... yeah ... yeah ... no retreat, or camp is perfect. But this camp was a tremendous blessing for me, May Chin, Gareth and I believe for all ... as we shouted in the retreat, "let everything that has breath? ... PRAISE THE LORD!!!"

The weather was so cooling there, I loved it. Came back, phew! hot and the sun so bright and shining ... well, I take it as a sign of God's favor on us .. he makes his face SHINE upon us? :-)

Bruce Lee ~ Artist of Life

I've been overwhelmed with Christian material .. on subjects from Theology, Spirituality, and Ministry. So, I picked up a book from the MPPJ library "Bruce Lee ~ Artist of Life." I thought this would be interesting.

When I was in primary school standard four (10years old) i remember spending a couple of years learning Shao-lin Kung Fu. I forgot most of the stuff but remember enjoying the whole experience. And rushing home to enjoy my wan-ton Mee (yummy!). And of course, Bruce Lee was kind of my hero then and even now. He put us Chinese on the global map of moviemaking .. and more I guess. The moves, the screams, the toughness, etc.

Then when I was in Seminary, I recall watching a movie based on him "Dragon: the Bruce Lee Story" and saw the more reflective side of this "Kung-Fu" Master. And now, in this book .. I see more in depth and appreciate him even more.

Ahh .. "All Truth is God's Truth". And if Mr. Bruce Lee has something to offer. Why not? Plus it's loads of fun. Here's some juicy stuff I picked up. Some quotes and phrases.

"To know yourself takes a lifetime" (no wonder I'm still getting to know myself)

"The principle of Gung Fu is not a thing that can be learned, like a science, by fact-finding or instruction in facts. It has to grow spontaneously, like a flower, in a mind free from desires and emotions." (I like the imagery, interesting thought on detachment.)

One more for now ... (got to go for Bonhoeffer class)

"Notice the stiffest tree is most easily cracked, while the bamboo or willow survives by bending with the wind. This is why a gung fu man is soft yet not yielding, firm, yet not hard." (cool!)

My Top Five Books for 2003 until May

my good friend Tim Loh asked me what's my top 10 list of books to read. Well, I'll try with five that has really helped me until May 2003.

1. Gift and Giver by Craig Keener
~ since the day I "spoke in tongues" after an extended time of praying (about 1 hour)when I was 15, my mind has always been searching for answers through the study Scriptures to better anchor spiritual experiences to Biblical truth. Keener's proposals are attractive, Biblical and sensitive to practical experience (Evangel bookstore probably one copy and MPH has copies too I think).

2. More than You Realize by Brian D. McLaren
~ yup, my hero again. I like his idea of "counting conversations more than conversions". Really takes the pressure off, and helps me to focus on just listening and conversing with people who are searching. Don't need a lot of heavy training for that! (You can get this in SUFES, P.J, just one or two more)

3. The Story We Find Ourselves In by Brian D. McLaren
~ here he is again! .. I enjoyed his story telling in this book better than the one before, i.e. "A New Kind of Christian". The Characters he portrays are very realistic and engaging. he calls this book Creative Fiction. The issues he deals with from Creation to Consummation with loads in between aren't fiction but crucial faith issues. I said it before this book Rocks and is Expensive .. got it for about RM71 at MPH Bandar utama. OUCH!

4. Community of Kindness by Steve Sjogren and Rob Lewin
~ Starting BLC from scratch has been harder than I anticipated but very rewarding. I just like the authors nugget like approach to church planting and the practical tips give me some sanity when I'm going insane. I followed one advice .. which landed me to watch X2. (Glad Sounds has plenty in stock)

5. The Younger Evangelical by Robert Webber
~ I needed to find myself after three years of "learning kung fu" in and through BLC. Webber provided a landscape to locate myself better (though not 100%). We don't have many Asian authors helping us here. I guess, we're too busy doing the work rather than reflecting on it. Obviously, we're affected by "Modernity" (though very different from Western Civilization), and I guess we're as much more "pre-modern" and "post-modern" (in the cultural sense of the word) at the same time ... Anyway, This book provided some helpful charts and pointers how the "younger evangelicals" in English speaking world is wrestling with their "post-modern" context. I can relate to quite a bit of that (I got it from MPH Bandar Utama again)

These are the less intensive theological stuff ... though Keener's book has a great deal of theological and biblical reflection. Juicy indeed! Hmm .. After camp I should mention my top five CDs. :-)

Sequels ... Anger vs. Faith

Wow .. what a season of movie sequels. Matrix Reloaded and Revolutions is coming (really looking forward for those two). My church member reminded me of Terminator Three on the way. I couldn't wait so I dragged a pretty tired body to Watch X2 (the X men sequel). Its impact on me was less than when I watched Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, especially at an emotional level. But Nightcrawler's "Teletransporting" was cool ... I liked a conversation he had with Storm in the X-Men Jet. She was talking about how anger is keeping her going (something like that) but Kurt Wagner (Nightcrawler) said that Faith can do that (i think he said something like that) hehe

well, ANGER is a powerful force indeed. And I can recall how many times this was crucial in the changes I made for myself as well as the work that I do. Sometimes, the results were good. I'mean at least things were moving. Other times, it just didn't last. And "Anger" just wears people down, for the long run its too tiring .... FAITH however is something deeper ... it's not so "reactive" to something but I think its "responsive" because when i'm Angry it's usually because of some adverse circumstance but I feel I'm "responsive" to someone .. in my case .. GOD.

At one point when I swimming in the "Faith Movement" (swallowing as much "faith" teaching by a segment of Christianity), I associated it more with getting healed, moving mountains, prayers to be answered, and calling forth things to happen (I still think there's a valid place for some of that). But now, I think it runs deeper than that ... Faith is RISK, yes a RISK in RELATIONSHIP .. thus trust is important, and confidence in Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit's leadership. It's about my response to Someone ... not Something - whether it's an event, or a request or a desire inside me. Faith in GOD is also a whole Atmosphere and Environment I live in not just a force I need when I'm in trouble.

And in our recent emphasis in BLC ... I'm re-looking at the Holy Spirit (because we're working through the Acts of the Apostles together.) We are a unique church since we all come from such a diverse background, many unchurched (never heard of any of the debates Christians have), others from Roman Catholic families, Brethrens and Baptists (have been welcomed), others from the Pentecostal church background (where they always hear about a specific version of the Holy Spirit), and one or two from the Methodist upbringing, a new couple from Australian flavored Lutheranism (by the liturgy book you know! hehe), and of course the younger Lutherans where most of us originally come from( who have already sensitized by the work of the Spirit plus experienced some bit of human weaknesses). I believe the Holy Spirit has been working in all of us all this while and now refining us.

Personally, making my re-entry through a Pentecostal church (spent 2 years there) is part of who I am, growing up in a Charismatic Lutheran Church (much of my time learning to serve and the go fulltime) is part of who i am. Hanging out with my friends who are part of the Pentecostal/Charismatic Tradition in Christianity is often fun as well (I'm still doing it). But, often I became angry with some weird excesses I saw along that journey, and that pushes me away from aligning myself too close with the term "Charismatic". My Seminary days opened up my horizon to a wider and enriching Christianity. Each of us have a different story to tell ... However, recently I'm reminded that the saying is true - "the answer to abuse is not no use but right use" (thus I have no problem seeing myself as a "Charismatic" as one who's open to the work of the Holy Spirit and Spiritual gifts .. don't forget the fruit!). I just need to watch out when I'm in danger of becoming bitter human being if I always operate through "Anger". I hope to be a better human being when I truly live in the context of "Faith" - i desire to REALLY genuinely open up myself to the work of the Holy Spirit. I feel we're part of God's TRILOGY - God's three part story (From a NEW testament point of View) .. Luke is Part one about Jesus Christ, ACTS of course is the Sequel. And we today playing out part three (we bring our stories into God's Story or God's Story includes our individual stories into His)... until the final grand finale ... wow!

Thanks to Kiffer

Wow .. a more advance blog template! Thanks to Kiffer for being my coach in this whole new world of blogging. May my blogging "blossom" into a beautiful garden of thoughts and feelings.

"Conversation: How Talk Can Change Our Lives

I listened with great interest to an interview with Theodore Zeldin, one of the most important thinkers in the world, & author of "Conversation: How Talk Can Change Our Lives" at http://www.wamu.org/ram/2002/k2021118.ram.

Here are some goodies I picked up ...

1. Telling lies causes us to live in a illusion - and conversations can help us spot it. It takes a lot of honesty and vulnerability to have meaningful conversations.

2. Making a Map of our conversations helps us see the diversity of our learning and growing - Zeldin gave the analogy of a travel map which got me thinking who I had been talking to. No wonder I enjoy my toastmaster club meetings, it's one place I get some diverse views.

3. Conversations can help us move beyond knowledge to wisdom - with so much information bombarded on us, I agree with Zeldin that wisdom is what we really need and how knowledge applies in our lives and make us better people. Conversations to me provides a level playing field for us to allows for healthy exchange and a great lab for change.

4. Conversation needs practice (like love making!!!!) - that got the listeners sitting up! I sometimes assume just because I have no problem talking I'm good at conversation. But this got me thinking, it involves listening, understanding, and interacting .. much more than knowing what to say.

5. Conversation is a work of art ... have fun (e.g. humor) & still do something with our own lives - Zeldin talked about humor sometimes can be a way of evading the real issues at hand. Hmm .. I enjoy humor .. maybe that's why my wife May Chin is good at meaningful conversations - she jokes less (almost never actually)!

6. "What is your idea of _______"? - That was a good way of getting to deeper conversations of what's in people's minds and their feelings to "whatever". I was thinking of a recent conversation with Langkawi and wondering why I enjoyed it so much. It was simply because there was a freedom to go beyond the usual, what's you job? what do you like? where did you come from? ...

Found a quote on the net ...
"Conversation is a meeting of minds with different memories and habits. When minds meet, they don't just exchange facts: they transform them, reshape them, draw different implications from them, engage in new trains of thought. Conversation doesn't just reshuffle the cards: it creates new cards. "~ Theodore Zeldin

From now on I don't want to give TALKS >. I want to enter CONVERSATIONS ...

hmm .. must look for the book ...