Sivin Kit's Garden

Missing ... In Action ... Mercy!

well, I'll be missing from this Garden for a couple of days ... and also one week ... but I'll be in action with DUMC's Campus Camp. The camp theme is "Not Ashamed .." Obviously, I think the general feeling is that many "Christians" are ashamed of the Gospel ... for whatever reason! Sad but so true ... if only we really knew its impact on us!

4 sessions in total ... let's throw in some Luther-style table talk, huh? Play with Mah-Jong paper and Markers! Get into the STORY through ACTS ... mini-conversations here and there. Ahh ... what's gonna happen when we talk in the van afterword? ... brain juices pumping ... Straight talk coupled with Bent Talk, images, metaphors, analogies, can't help it ... but God is creative right?

I pray He'll do some creative work in the opportunities he's given to me. I believe He's ongoing in his creativity. I prefer this view of creation - where he created in the past (sure!) and still creating today (wow!). And through the redemption of Christ .. re-creating us (who are so broken, disintegrated, fragmented, blur?!) .. hey, that gives a new twist to RE-CREATION.

I'll be missing ...
May Chin & Gareth (in parallel .. some people think I only miss my son! Oi!)
BLC ... the community God has placed me in. I missed them at JB a couple of weeks ago ...
Blogging ... (that's oklah! not so bad!)
Loh-mai-Kai & Pan-Mee & Nescafe (my current breakfast diet for one week)
My small table where I journal, listen to the Scriptures and pray!
The Green Kanchil (David Beckham's favorite car?!)

Soon .. in Action ....
at Chee Foo School .. Cameron Highlands (hmmm .. weather cool!)
with GOD .. who's already working ...
in the lives of people who are thirsting for God (I believe) and ready to resist "control" from powers & forces that's not looking totally into our real interest!

BTW, I finished 90% of My Ordination paper on "Lutheran Pietism" & "LCMS". I'll miss that a little too ... hope to wrap it up on Sunday ... somehow! Kyrie Eleison ... Lord have mercy! How we all need that ... Mercy!! Too many "Magic" promises in the air nowadays (which fail to deliver!) ... MERCY, yes ... new mercies for today .. shower them down Lord, as we pray!!

My Brain Usage Profile

Got linked to Mind Media Life Enhancement Network - And my results are ... (still trying to understand myself huh?)

Auditory : 37%
Visual : 62%
Left : 29%
Right : 70%

Sivin, you possess an interesting balance of hemispheric and sensory characteristics, with a slight right-brain dominance and a slight preference for visual processing.

Since neither of these is completely centered, you lack the indecision and second-guessing associated with other patterns. You have a distinct preference for creativity and intuition with seemingly sufficient verbal skills to be able to translate in any meaningful way to yourself and others.

You tend to see things in "wholes" without surrendering the ability to attend to details. You can give them sufficient notice to be able to utitlize and incorporate them as part of an overall pattern.

In the same way, while you are active and process information simultaneously, you demonstrate a capacity for sequencing as well as reflection which allows for some "inner dialogue."

All in all, you are likely to be quite content with yourself and your style although at times it will not necessarily be appreciated by others. You have sufficient confidence to not second-guess yourself, but rather to use your critical faculties in a way that enhances, rather than limits, your creativity.

You can learn in either mode although far more efficiently within the visual mode. It is likely that in listening to conversations or lecture materials you simultaneously translate into pictures which enhance and elaborate on the meaning.

It is most likely that you will gravitate towards those endeavors which are predominantly visual but include some logic or structuring. You may either work particularly hard at cultivating your auditory skills or risk "missing out" on being able to efficiently process what you learn. Your own intuitive skills will at times interfere with your capacity to listen to others, which is something else you may need to take into account.

hmm ... interesting!

The Hound of Heaven

I first came across this Poem is by Francis Thompson (1859 - 1907) in the Seminary library ... though I'm not much of a poet and literature freak, the imagery and language caught me and dragged me through it's passion and intensity (I had to perservere to finish this long poem! phew!!) A member at LiFE Group nudged me to get this! So ...

Who is this guy Francis? Here's two descriptions from the net:
A failure for so-long; a one-time opium addict; died of tuberculosis.
His poems, mainly religious, are rich in imagery and poetic vision.

Who was he? A brilliant addicted poet, a tortured soul, writing of the genius, the Godstuff, in us all. We can quest God or negate Him. Job, Jonah, Psalm 139 and Julian share this. The happiness is in the seeking, the misery in the denial. We are Prodigal Sons and Daughters of God, awaiting the Wedding Feast of Parables . . .

and now the Poem ...

A Moment of Quietness

I picked up this little booklet by Tom Wright and read it while trying to get Gareth to sleep. It didn't work, but his little glares at me with such stillness was rewarding enough. I jotted down some gems in my journal. Share some here ...

"I love Quietness ... because there comes a time when I realize I don't know what to say anymore, and when I realize it doesn't matter."

"Beyond words ... there is forgiveness that is offered with no need for explanations or excuses"

I think I'm an extrovert most of the time (I think) ... I don't mind talking, sharing and enjoy conversing with people. But even for me, I do enjoy a moment of Quietness. I've learnt to enjoy it! And I'm still learning the beauty and rhythm of speech and silence.

Random Thoughts B4 It Rains

My mind is jammed .. no creative juices for the "Pietism" Paper ... 2 more days to go (my own deadline!

Looking forward for tomorrow night 7pm .. yeah! (gotta call my friends later!)

Wonder what's gonna happen tonight at "Giving Tree"? hmmm...

Missed lunch today .. hunger pangs?

Pat on the back 10 mini-sit ups bravo!

Blogs have been rather serious ... this one more relax!

Finally, Todd Hunter Blogs again ...

Loads of stuff on Children & Intergenerational Worship on my mind.

Phew .. gonna come down from Cameron on Sunday and dash to KLIA to fly to KK! Lord have mercy!

Understood Capon better after at least second reading .. his words massage the mind too.

Tried breaking up the Pringles into four pieces to give my mind the illusion I'm eating more when it's actually less. huh?

Emails on 4 Question Survey coming in ... shared about LRT episode to BLC last Sunday, wonder what would happen if they tried it too?

God-son 4 year old Adam helped me pull the grass from the mini-drains last Sunday ... that was fun. We talked ...

Alfred Hitchcock's "Rear Window" is really good! Amazing direction!

All nights occupied, weekend packed with DUMC campus camp, whole week seminar next week ... phew!

Lots of nitty-gritty stuff awaits me ... Arrrgggh!

Thank God for Edward ...

It's gonna pour ...

Silence ...

Choices & Consequences

Last week, a fellow LiFE Group member said that "ACT 2 : The Fall" was the juicy bit of Griffin's Article "STORY". ACT 1 was on Creation. We're supposed to talk about what Christian's have traditionally called "the Fall" tonight. I've long given up just seeing it as a historical past event alone. I realized that the effects of the "fall" and it's replay is happening daily.

On a smaller scale, our "willful" refusal for God to define life's meaning makes us set ourselves as "god" (who am I to think I have a best perspective?). On a bigger scale, this morning's frontpage on the horror of the Canny Ong abduction and murder case takes rebellion against God and the effects of the fall to the extreme! Being a Christian is about letting God's Story define me .. and shape me... and warn me!

Two quick reflections on Griffin's section (his in bold) ...

"Male and Female were created to be dependent and find their ultimate meaning in their creator. The choice to rebel set up a long and ferocious battle between God and his creation."

I don't think I'm "dependent" in a mindless way (e.g. praying for direction in a fortune-telling way - zap me God!). I believe God has given me some form of "independence" too (e.g. I can understand myself, my context, often a few options are available to choose from, and its not life-threatening though risk is involved!) But the "dependence" on finding "meaning" is something I'm appreciating more these days. Because I find there's a battle in the marketplace of human minds and hearts to define "meaning" for us (e.g. the so called "American Dream" or "XYZ dream" usually marketed to us so someone elses "dream" can be fulfilled). A good dose of Ecclesiastes will purge one from such illusions ... soaking in God's Story does wonders!

"The "fall" story demonstrated to Israel that any transgression of God's covenant stipulations would bring severe consequences. The storyteller shares that God takes freedom seriously. To play outside of the set of boundaries is to be bound."<i> (emphasis mine)

That last line was a killer sentence! whack! Our choices indeed have consequences. And often we don't even need God to judge us or even talking about God punishing us. The results of our resistance or rebellion is enough to take us DOWN (and others too)! It's so sad ... when intelligent human beings like us who are created in God's image can do STUPID things that not only hurt us, and those around us but also God. I remember once Dr. Hwa Yung (my Christian Theology lecturer) highlighted that Sin is Irrational ... how true! Repentance is simply .. recognizing our foolishness and returning back to His WISE ways ... It's quite simply actually. We complicated it with our own rationalizations (cf. often excusing our actions) or even religiousity (cf. making it harder than it should be).

Ironic isn't it ? ... those who want to be free to play as they like are actually bound, and those who appear bound are actually free to play with full enjoyment!

Our choices often miscalculated ... the consequences often beyond our control ... why fight against God when one can be ?FREE?

May the song play on ... "It was for freedom, that Christ has set us free ..." Lord, I choose you, because You first CHOSE me!

Prayer of ILLUMINATION

This prayer popped out from the JB Wesley Bulletin few Sundays ago when we were worshipping at KUKUP, Johor. It's meant to be used before the Scripture readings and the Sermon. Well .. I just like it!

"Lord, Open our hearts and minds
by the power of Your Holy Spirit,
that, as the Scriptures are read
and Your Word proclaimed,
We may hear with joy what
You say to us today. Amen."

So, whenever I READ, and REFLECT, getting ready to RESPOND to GOD, I know the SPIRIT is hovering over me to bring GOD's creative work to surface from my chaotic waking (and even sleeping) hours!

Top Three - Books on "Preaching"

After preaching almost weekly at BLC for the past three years plus, sharing whenever there's a chance given to me and recalling my Homiletic classes both during seminary days and after, as well as struggling with sweat and sleepless nights simply hoping to present what I believe to be God's message to us in our times (now that's an awesome responsibility) --- These books (I prefer to see it as these authors) really - I mean - REALLY helped me ... I'll put in one quote each (in italics) and my comments later.

(Amazon seems to be giving good discounts on these gems!)

1. The Four Pages of the Sermon:A Guide to Biblical Preaching by Paul Scott Wilson

"God is missing from in many of our sermons." p.20

"We have inherited forms of preaching that have served previous generations well. But they did not ask, any more than we generally do, whether good news must sound like good news." p.21

I read his earlier book the more technical "The Practice of Preaching" and loved it, but it was this more simple version of the "in-depth" ideas introduced to me in "The Practice of Preaching" which gives me the needed Instruction & Inspiration to persevere in preaching!

His "4 Pages Sermon" Model provides not only a framework for preaching but actually a "Theological Paradigm" for thinking about preaching. I really found his "This Tiny Dog Is Now Mine" Idea great for sermon unity. It's simply keeping focus and sermon unity with One TEXT, One THEME, One DOCTRINE, One IMAGE, One NEED and One Mission.

2. Thinking in Story: Preaching in a Postliterate Age by Richard A. Jensen

"It is important for us to know how preaching was done in the past and to think about how preaching might be done in the future to keep up wiht the changes in communication" p.2

"Our "speaking for God" rests on the biblical understanding that words have creative power. ... Jesus Christ is this creative word of God incarnate. ... In our preaching we carry on this "speaking for God". We don't just talk about God's Word. No. We speak for God. We speak God's Word on God's behalf." p.17

Rarely, does one have a chance to personally interact with the author himself (face to face!). But, I think God was gracious enough to allow BLC to be the venue for Dr. Jensen's Pastor's School on Homiletics to the LCMS in 2002. And I was his driver!

Though using stories is not that new for many of us, for me it was thinking in story that really fascinated me! And especially when he worked through the passages of the Gospels, it was illuminating indeed (made me fall in love with the Biblical Text again and again!). Plus before he left, he gave me three of his books on Preaching Matthew's Gospel, Mark's Gospel and Luke's Gospel (3 Years worth of lectionary material ... wow)! Cool ...

3. The Foolishness of Preaching:Proclaiming the Gospel against the Wisdom of the World by Robert Farrar Capon

"If you can make up your mind, when you go into the pulpit, to forget everything except Jesus Christ and him crucified, you'll have nothing to give them but Good News" p. 13

"In the Bible, "the Word of the Lord" is always Someone speaking to you, not just someone writing memos for you to read at your desk." p.61

"Prayer is just talking with Someone who's already talking to you." p. 68

Capon always has a way with crafting words, sentences and thoughts and throwing in potent images and analogies for right brain people like me who love it! I finished this book with a healthy confidence that's it's ok to appear dumb or even feel foolish before a world that's so full of its own self-cooked wisdom. I just need to keep my focus on what's really precious - what's TRUE Wisdom - Christ!

Thoughts On "Preaching"

"Preaching" as a term or a word seems to be in people's bad books. "To be preached at .." is considered unpleasant if not distastful. "I'm not here to preach at you ..." would appear to be more acceptable. But, originally .. the word "to preach" is an ordinary word - simply meaning "to announce" or "to proclaim" or "to let people know the news". And in our case as Christians - the Good News! Well, that's enough for me to like this word and appreciate it. I do this "act" of preaching at least every Sunday at 10am during BLC's Worship Gathering and whenever I'm invited to do so (more formally than usual). Now, I also begin to see it coming out from my life informally - through any opportunity that arises. Now that broadens this "announcing the Good News of Christ" and brings it down-to-earth right to streets, coffee shops and even LRT!

The Hulk - Smash Up!

It's all my assistant's fault (hehehe). I played for the first time an online game (a Hulk smash up game!) at the Hulk Website (what a website! Some of the details are staggering not just in style but also substance!) - WOW! Anyway, the smashing buildings bit and thumping cars as well as cracking the street was quite therapeutic actually :-) I can still remember my assistant laughing at her pastor.

I smashed up some of my fear too today! When i took the Light Rail Transit (LRT) from Asia Jaya to Bangsar and with one more station to go. There was a tug in me to ask the stranger standing next to me the "4 Question Survey". I did it with email, how about LIVE - the challenge went. Fear ... discomfort ... rationalizing ... Tony Compolo (in the Elevator - my church members will understand why this bit came!) ... blood gushing ... the whole works. Ahhh ....

"Excuse me! Can ask I you 4 questions ... no strings attached",
He turned around puzzled (maybe not knowing how to respond) and said, "ok!"

Alright .. he didn't know what is a Gospel, not even a book in the Bible.
Dunno Apostle Paul
Dunno what's "born again"
and no close friend has told him they are "born again".

"Thanks ..." Phew! ... hey, I FEEL GOOD .. I SMASHED UP my own inhibitations & fear. COOL ...
"By the way, I didn't get your name (sorry)?",
He said, "Chew", "My name is SIVIN" I replied.
There was a another puzzled look.
"SIVIN ... S-I-V-I-N, thanks again.", I smiled.

Prayed for CHEW when I came down the Escalator. Prayed for My Courage Quotient. And Gave Thanks to The ALMIGHTY ...

Top Three - Bible Versions

This Top Three business was inspired by Steve Sjogren's Top Five website. After being tremendously touched in the presence of God when I was reading the whole book of LAMENTATIONS, I quickly jotted down my Top Three Bible Versions. I decided to use Lamentations 2:14 to let the translations bring out the flavour of the Scripture.

1. New American Standard Bible (NASB)

Your prophets have seen for you
False and foolish visions;
And they have not exposed your iniquity
So as to restore you from captivity,
But they have seen for you false and misleading oracles.

I use the NASB primarily to get the more literal "feel" & "sense" of the text. I like it for study and preaching/teaching preparation.

2. New Living Translation (NLT)

Your "prophets" have said so many foolish things, false to the core.
They did not try to hold you back from exile by pointing out your sins.
Instead, they painted false pictures, filling you with false hope.

The NLT has been a breath of fresh air since I used it as a preaching & teaching Bible. It's simple to read (using more active voices I guess) and it takes into consideration those who don't use English as their first language.

3. The Message (MSG)

Your prophets courted you with sweet talk.
They didn't face you with your sin so that you could repent.
Their sermons were all wishful thinking, deceptive illusions.

Ahhh ... Eugene Peterson's massive undertaking finally bear fruit in a contemporary translation of the whole Bible which often makes me laugh (e.g. Jonah), weep (e.g. Lamentations) or just sit there in deep thought (e.g. Esther & Ecclesiastes). I like it because there are no verse indications to distract. But more than that, it's the style & words chosen that makes the whole experience of just reading the Bible a wonder-full experience. Very often, I felt I got to "hear" & "listen" to God's voice as well ...

... Emails ... Encouragemet...

I sent out some emails with the 4 Question Survey to some of my friends ... and new contacts. I was so happy that they emailed me back their answers. It was "tempting" to email a more elaborate "explanatory" mail. I'm thankful I resisted the temptation. It's just so easy for a "preacher" like me to be "preachy". I just replied a just "Thanks"-type of email. (Following the instructions given)

After that, what I did was I sent out some other emails to another group of friends to see what happens.

I was also extremely blessed by a couple of emails by my JB friend .. saying some really "nice" things to encourage me. Ahh .. encouragement .. words that may not cost a single cent, but does wonders to the human spirit. Encouragement is rare these days ... we're so busy living in discouragement (by ourselves or by others).

So, today .. emails are no longer "spam" or "just another" email. The emails turned into ENCOURAGEMENT.

The Four Question Survey

I got this from a wonderful site on "Evangelism" (ahh .. a word that many non-Christians dread and so called Christians shy away from) ... here's the questions and instructions ...

1) Can you name one of the gospels?_________________________________

4) Has a close friend ever told you that they were "born again"?_______

What is Community?

Winn Griffin's comments in his "STORY" article on "Community" stirs something in me ... Here's the stuff I highlighted (probably gonna share this in LiFE Group meeting tonight) from his section on "God's Metanarrative Condensed- Act 1: The Creator God and His Creation". (his words in bold mine in italics)

"God's creation of community told Israel the importance of being the people of God"

"Community is not just a loosely knit group of people who believe the same things about certain issues."

Greenpeace does a better job than any of us in the church interms of environmental issues! As Christians, we need to be concerned with the issues that around us. In fact, I was pretty excited to hear that a friend of mine is serious about his calling in politics and we need to support people like that. But, as a church being a community is more than being social activists ...

"It is not a group of individualized individuals who gather in a building and do certain religious activities on a regular basis, ..."

I think healthy routine and rhythm is crucial to the development of any human endeavor including our discipleship and ministry. To me, Sunday Worship Gathering is like the "Real Presence" I encounter through Holy Communion. God is surely always present with me, but during times like this it's a special gift a special grace. This type of thinking guards me from a fraghmented view of "gathering" and guides me to an integrated view where being God's people is primary, and our gatherings or meetings serve to strengthen that not distract! We meet but we're more than meetings! (not more meetings ok?)

"or small groups that provide occassions for individuals to focus on themselves in the presence of others.

I fear that many of our cell groups (we call it LiFE Groups in BLC) or small groups may be in danger of degenerating into that. There is a place for "support" groups and we do find "support" from each other in this context, but I believe the focus needs to at least be on others and ultimately on God and not ourselves. We start with where we are but then we open to where others are at and together listen to HIS VOICE and move to HIS KINGDOM!

"Community is a tightly knit group of people on mission, sent by a redeeming God as his conduits for bringing his world back to him. Its vocation is to find the pain of the fallen world and bring the church/community there to begin the process of redemption"

That's nailing it hard on my heart! OUCH! It's a massive project. I was reading Peter Jackson's comment about making the movie trilogy "The Lord of the Rings" how it was tiring,and exhausting mentaly and physically but never dull, that's what this definition and vision of "community" does to me ... keeps the colours alive in my quest for authentic community, keeps me focused. It can be tiring and exhausting because sometimes you feel so alone on this journey, one of those "Elijah" times as if you're the only one seriously thinking about this. But, I believe the Lord has kept his "thousands"(there must be more) who have not bowed their knee to the "Baal" of self-centred-consumer-religion. Time to come out guys and gals, time to come out and play!

Thoughts on "StoryTelling"

Was looking for stuff that helps in my speaking for a new preacher, then got linked to this interesting article "The Six Stories You Need to Know How to Tell" by "accident" or "providence" (God knows!). Thought not specifically a Christian perspective ... but helpful!

My brunch thoughts I'm taking with me to MPPJ Library ...

To be a person is to have a story to tell.
—Isak Dinesen

the rest is from the author of the article Annette Simmons:

"Faith needs a story to sustain it—a meaningful story that inspires belief in you and renews hope that your ideas, do indeed, offer what you promise."

"In a sense, your life is a story and you are already telling that one perfectly."

Now towards improved storytelling ... in life - word & deed!

STORY

We're using an booklet "STORY" (click here to download)by Winn Griffin for our LiFE Groups discussions these few weeks. I thought it might be good to change the style a bit, hopefully to bring freshness to the group and get us back afresh to God's STORY in the Scriptures. Its been helpful in my own understanding of the content of Scripture and also in BLC especially when people start conversing about some of the ideas he surfaced. Here's somestuff I highlighted.

"Millions own a Bible. But owning a Bible and knowing the contents of the Bible are two separate issues."

And I think this goes further than being able to quote some verses here and there. I agree with Griffin that versitis (fragmented quotation of verses torn from God-given context) & topicalitis (fragmented teaching and preaching often more like prooftexting) can cause us to treat the Bible just like another "chicken soup" book. We miss out on the main course of God's purposes for us. Sticking with the lectionary and working through passages every Sunday has been a life-transforming & life-shaping discipline. First, I've discovered how God is always RELEVANT. Second, I've found that my understanding of his REVELATION deepens even in stuff I thought I always knew. Humbling ...

"We need to know the whole story as presented in Scripture to make sense of our present story that we live in as believers."

He quotes Anglican Theologian/Author Alister McGrath, "Stories are about finding one's identity, and learning the Story of one's own people."

I think it was Bonhoeffer's statement that Christ's death is more important than my death, His life is more important than my life (and so on) shook me up. Sometimes you think you know who you are, I've read self-help books, simple psychology stuff and loads of leadership books. I've been to I can't even remember how many seminars but nothing beats how the Scriptures allows me to make sense of my own life. All those non-Scripture based stuff and be helpful (other times harmful). But, the Scripture nourishes and guides me with a perspective that's often not "trapped" with modern days trends and fancy!

I can genuinely say that the Scriptures really have brought me to a greater self awareness of who I am, what I'm called to to, and how to go about it. Strange ... when the focus is off preoccupying our self and let the Scriptures speak ... wonders happen.

"It is our belief that when you finish reading-hearing-telling this story, you will no longer be a Christian in name only, but you will be a Christian in reality, one who lives his or her life in community for the sake of the world."

A Christian in name only ... a Christian in reality. so true, so true ... I told May Chin in the car, nowadays we have so many adjectives or qualifiers for Christians .. words we put before the word "Christian" - e.g. active, backsliden, faithful, serving, non-church going, mature, etc. I'm just saddened again and again when the word "Christian" has been reduced to merely so called "religious affiliation" like how some Chinese use the word "Buddhist". REALITY .. our center, our life-giving-life-shaping-life guiding force. That which determines the way we see the world, what we value, what we're gonna do in life, what do we want to see happen ... Being a Christian in REALITY for me is not a pressure (tho I admit a pressure-free life in KL and developing Malaysia is impossible even as a Christian - and many of us live under tremendous strain)

Phew! Just that when it comes to being part of GOD's STORY ... What a privilege ... yes PRIVILEGE ... that's what "getting" the STORY does to me!

Close with a last paragraph from Griffin,
"Knowing the story is not an end in itself. The story is there so that the Creator God may be glorified and that his creation may be redeemed. It is our task to be the vehicles through whom this magnificent story is told and retold, not just in words but also with drama, art, any form of creative expression. We have been entrusted with a great and wonderful privilege." (emphasis mine)

About Being Human ...

I've switched my newspaper reading to News Straits times lately. Partly, because I want o support my friend Steve's Chisel & Stone Column and have a change. In fact, I've grown to like the paper somewhat, even though someone mentioned that its too wordy for their taste. It's just that sometimes a phrase or a thought or a sentence sends me into interesting mental adventures.

Today's comment on the Turkish Prime minister caught my attention. It was the last line in the Comment by Aniza Damis "Erdogan’s calm, powerful aura reflects a fine statesman" - a fuller paragraph might help give the context -

"At the previous night's dinner, Deputy Superintendent Razali Abu Hassan, part of Erdogan's Malaysian security detail, had a heart attack and died.

With little time left before his flight, Erdogan cancelled his shopping trip and arranged for a condolence visit to the deceased's family in Kampung Nakhoda, Gombak, instead.

A fine statesman, and human, too." (emphasis mine)

Made me think about ....
my first Father's day yesterday,
watching "Finding Nemo" today which links to my heart to Gareth,
just came back from JB Wesley's Family camp which had the
theme "Your Family Matters to God."

happenings in my church members' lives and ours as a family - i.e. how
we treat people
Reactions or responses arising from either crisis or invitations
loads of stuff ...

What makes me a fine pastor, or lawyer, or manager, or teacher, or _________ (fill in the blanks)?

What makes me a fine Christ-Follower?

What makes me a fine human?

I guess, what get's cancelled gives me a clue to what I'm really made of!

THE MOSAIC OF CHRISTIAN BELIEF

I really enjoyed Roger E. Olson's "The Story of Christian Theology". That's why after the JB Wesley Camp yesterday, I couldn't help but want to reward myself with "The Mosaic of Christian Belief" I like his "simple and yet not oversimplication" style and more so the absence of a "combative" spirit in his approach even with those he doesn't agree with. The whole moving from "either-or" to a "both-and" approach to theology attracts me tremendously.

I was talking with my friend yesterday on how I desire we do more "constructive" work when it somes to our "theological" endeavor in our ministry in Malaysia. I'mean there is a place for "combat" especially in the face of heresy or damiging teachings that constantly plagues the Christian church. But, somehow I feel we can't be "fighting" all the time .. and now is a time for "building" - providing alternatives to "that which we deem harmful or hurtful" for the Malaysian Church. I hope to be a co-partner in this process ...

Maybe that's why I have a soft spot when it comes to agreeing to speak and share in youth, campus and young adult invitations. Thus, just confirmed I'd share at the SU Closer to God (Chinese version) camp (December) - something new! And then, give my two cents on the Garden of "denominations" at the SU SCF leaders camp (November). Then of course, I'm still looking forward to DUMC's Campus Zone camp end of June and HELP CF's camp in August (to be confirmed).

I hope that if it's possible that God would use my "limited" efforts for his maximum purposes. Prayerfully, starting from my generation and the generation after me - we will be making our mark as "construction" workers for Malaysian ministry, discipleship, leadership and theological development. All this coupled with seeking to see some of the values, and visions I believe about the church to be expressed in and through BLC.

I really hope to see that "OUR STORY" (i.e. Malaysian Church history) will continue to be faithful to our forefathers in faith and fruitful in introducing God-blessed changes and SHALOM (wholeness) to our times. And as we recognize "OUR MOSIAC" (i.e. Malaysian Church as a whole), we will appreciate one another's beauty as well as advance the richness of Christianity in our world.

Hunting the Divine Fox

Robert Farrar Capon has been quite an interesting character for me. He's a fantastic & fun writer, Episcopalian Priest and chef. He just stretches me and I enjoy the intellectual nourishment he offers at the same time ...

During my final year as a youth pastor before I started BLC I picked up a book entitled "The Romance of the Word: One man's love affair with Theology" (what a title!). It's kind of a three-in-one book. "Hunting the Divine Fox" is the third book and its loads of fun dealing with serious, in depth questions. In short, in Capon's words Theology is fun!

I know GOD is serious subject matter. But when it's "tied up" into heated discourse and multiple controversy - we easily lose track of the essentials and what we are really able to "talk" about. I find we're can be too caught into a win/lose mode (competition), or explain/elaborate mode (precision), and lose out on the whole wonder of the Discovery mode (Exploration) While there's a place for the other two modes ... I think the primary one should be "Discovery" Channel ... :-)

I'm just re-reading this book (I seem to be in the habit of doing this lately). And unearthen some diamonds and precious stones! Here are some ..

Answering theological questions is like trying to straighten up an unmade bed: the only way to do the job properly is to strip the problem at hand all the way down to its basic elements and start again from the beginning ~ p.24

One of the benefits of theology is that if you ever get anything right on the subject of God, you immediately get a bonus and start getting things right about the world. ~ p.25

I think of the struggle one has as to where should we start when it comes to theology- from the world (our context)? or from God? Scripture or Nature? ... well, the fact is we start from wherever we are but what matters most is the getting our "view" of God right .. and that would "righten" my view even of myself and the world I'm in ...It's about perspective ... being willing to allow God's truth to rebuke my ignorance and refine whatever intelligence I think I may have ... knowing that my "point of view" is limited and yet open to God's glorious revelation and gracious invitation to a journey of life-long discovery.

enough for now...

What Matrix Persona Is May Chin?

I got May Chin to try out the Matrix Persona quizzie .. and wah lah ... a female NEO ... cool!

You are Neo, from "The Matrix." You
display a perfect fusion of heroism and
compassion.


What Matrix Persona Are You?
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What Type of Wild Creature are You?

"Three" is the popular number .. 3 points, 3 angles, 3 objectives and so on .. I some how like I "fours" - 4 pages, 4 Quardrant Matrix, 4 emphasis, etc. So this is my fourth quiz for today ... that's enough for now. End with something natural.

What color do you see the world in?

I love colors, I use them in my reading - highlighting stuff, I use them in my note-taking, and of course my mind-mapping ... I just like colors ..

Red/Green/Blue:
To you, the world is logical. Everything happens
for a reason, life is scientific. You like to
find solutions. I doubt you needed to take this
quiz in order to realize this.

Made by
Sara


What color do you see the world in?
brought to you by Quizilla

Which book of the Bible are you?

Thought I'd try out another quiz .. now something more related to my faith ... the results weren't surprising, and it was somewhat encouraging.

You are Psalms.


Which book of the Bible are you?
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What Matrix Persona Are You?

After some more "serious" minded blogs, time for recess ... i tried a few quizes before, but since we're still in the soon-fading-"Matrix" -fever until November for "Matrix: Revolutions" .. I decided to take this test and see what happens ... and wah lah ... I must now try some "backflips", talk slowly ... and get one of those cool shades .. plus maybe a suntan when I'm in JB? .. I think the baldness thing is progressing naturally:-)

You are Morpheus, from "The Matrix." You
have strong faith in yourself and those around
you. A true leader, you are relentless in your
persuit.


What Matrix Persona Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Encouraging Words ... for ...

young people- of course, you are tomorrow’s leaders! more than that--your fresh ideas, energy, and special skills are needed today.
I'd like to think I'm still young at 30, turning 31 in October 2003. But the "tomorrow's leader" really got me going during my teens and later early twenties. But, I never really noticed the second part so much until today.

youth workers - Youth work has been described as the loneliest of professions.
I've never been a "youth worker" in the sense with a parachurch organization like SU. But, I've known many through the years, and it's really not easy and to witness some serve for more than 10 years is both rare and precious. I salute them.

youth ministers - Doctors, lawyers, and teachers are considered professionals because they deal with physical lives, fortunes, and minds. Yours is the challenge of dealing with the souls of young people.
When I became a youth pastor (the Malaysian equilavent of a youth minister), wow! It turned out to be quite an adventure serving both Chinese and Mandarin speaking youth in Setapak. I thoroughly enjoyed the networking with other youth workers, and pastors and of course the young people itself was loads of fun.

educators- Brain surgeons save lives; teachers shape lives.
I alwasy tell people if I'm not a pastor now, I wouldn't mind becoming a film director (in my dreams!), rock musician (huh?), or a teacher/lecturer (more realistic). I taught tuition before, then conversational English, so there's some taste for it. But, I respect teachers very much and I'm extremely proud of those who choose education (especially in the government institutions) as their career. I'm also happy to hear more and more people in private institutions too. We need more!!

pastors - "Do you love me? Feed My sheep."
Here I am now ... loving Jesus, and feeding sheep. :-)

parents- Even child psychologists and experts are humbled in raising their own children. Parenting is the most difficult profession in the world; yet they receive little training from most societies today.
ahh ... I fully agree with this ... and no matter how much one reads, and how much advice I hear from people ... it's still a fresh lessons every time. And full of joy as well ...

social workers- Given the extraordinary pressures on families and individuals, the interventions of professional in social crises are critical
The only social worker I know in my family was the late Justus Koo (my uncle & former pastor) I find this job mentioned so little in our "success"-driven world and yet it's so needed.

Thanks to Center for Youth Studies sparking me to think about these Encouraging words for different roles we play ...

"Survival" Mode Living?

Just finished the LCMS Selangor District Pastor's Prayer Meeting at the Father's House (BLC), we had someone from the National Evangelical Christian Fellowship who share about the importance of "Intercessory Prayer" for leaders, churches and our nation.

We then slipped into some smaller groupings for sharing and prayer support. And in the midst of the listening and talking about what is on our hearts, one pastor's reflection really grabbed my attention.

The gist of it is simply this.

"so many of us live in a kind of "survival" mode. It's because the pressures we face can be overwhelming. If we are pastors, it could be church members problems, ministry challenges, and unexpected issues that crop up anytime. If we are working in the "secular" world, there is the demands of the company, the strain with fellow co-workers, then family responsibilities ... the list can go on and on.

And to "survive" we may switch to a "survival" mode mentality - thus, ignoring or putting aside any thing that we perceive as an "added" burden. Like, interceding for our nation can be seen like another burden, or participating in some form of prayer ministry in the church may turn out to be a burden. And if that is the case - the "Survivor" in us just doesn't want anything to do with all this extra "burdens". But ... " ,

he goes on pointing out,

"The Bible talks about living out of a "RESTFUL" mode which is out of the Abundance of a life with God. And this is so different from the "survival" mode which we're talking about above. In a "Restful" mode, we are more able to see the "burdens" as "opportunities" to bless others, or just simply "openings" to support people..... The different MODE we choose to live in brings about different results in the way we behave and respond to situations as well as people around us..."

There's more I guess to what he is saying ... that's what I managed to grasp and internalize a little. Of course, there are times when one needs to be in "Survival" mode ... especially in times of crisis, sickness and pain. But, just like the computer that operates on a "safe" mode doesn't realize its fullest potential, I guess that will happen to me if I stick to "Survival" mode for my daily operations as a human all the time. I'm attracted to the "Restful" mode idea ... I think it's very HELPFUL and HEALTHY indeed.

Feelings .. nothing more than feelings

"God's not against feelings, not in the least. God wants you to feel loved, because you are loved! Yet, many good feelings aren't really so good in the contexts they're found in. Trusting in the emotions alone is like marrying someone just because you have the hots for that person: when the feelings fade, you realize what an awful mess you've gotten yourself into. Like any good love, your relationship with God is built on trust." ~ From SpiritHome

Somehow, we can't escape the need to deal with "Feelings" especially today and even more so if we want to be open to the Spirit's work in our lives. So, accidently or providentially bumping into this paragraph was good for me today. Put "Feelings" into a healthy perspective, and uplifts "Trust" in its rightful place.

TRIPLE "R" on Mondays

Some people may wonder what pastors do on Mondays. Well, last Sunday my assistant made a really funny comment, something like - "Now after working in church I realized Sivin doesn't just work on Sundays, he actually works on weekdays!" Well, the John Stott quote about pastors being "six days invisible and one day incomprehensible" hopefully won't apply in my situation (at least in the view of my own church members!) after my assistant's "revelation".

So, what do I do on my so called "off-day"? I call it the TRIPLE R day. i.e. REST, RELAX & REFLECT.

REST ...
Well, I had quite a good rest last night. Somehow, my physical system crashed. I was thinking about going for badminton on sunday evenings ... but then after second thoughts I'll need to reschedule another time for "Rejuvenating" myself through sports (exercise in which we all lack these days) I told Gareth Sunday afternoons and nights should be exclusively for him and mummy ... with occassional fun times with friends.

RELAX ...
Yup .. Movies come to mind (probably check out the french speaking ASTERIX movie at Midvalley). I got a biography about BONO from the MPH sales yesterday (sounds fun!). Last few Mondays, I read about "Bruce Lee" (had loads of fun there).

I somehow have this connection with people whose names start with B ... like Brian McLaren, Bruce Lee (the one Chinese in this list), Bono, Bruce Banner? (fiction) ... or R ... like Robert E. Webber, Robert Farrar Capon, Robert Selvakumar ... (the one Indian in this list & my STM room mate). or people's surnames with W ... John Wimber, Robert E. Webber (again), Dallas Willard. How did I land up adding the other names ? It's part of my relaxing ... :-)

Then of course, family dinners come in well during Monday evenings too ... got one tonight!

REFLECT ...
I surf for some anything that might catch my attention ... or other people's blogs that interest me ... printed out some articles I thought was linked to my "re-discovery" & "reappropriation" of the Holy Spirit's work in my life .

ELECTRICITY (a parable for Pentecost) Acts 2:2

A Church On Fire

Then there's other stuff like ..
What I Learnt From Tolkien About Writing (Grabed me because of a conversation with an aspiring writer)

Freedom To Explore: A Provocative A - Z For The Church (the word provocative was nice!)

This REFLECTING streak is just in me ... ever since reading Ken Gire's two books "Windows of the Soul" & "The Reflective Life:Becoming More Spiritually Sensitive to the Everyday Moments of Life ".

after 12 midnight ... it'll be - hosting District Pastors' Prayer Meeting at BLC, Children's Ministry meeting, final preparations for JB Wesley Family Camp, then the camp itself during the weekend. And of course, all the nitty-gritty stuff that needs attention ... LWF change of stewards, delegating to my assistant (what a blessing to have one, phew!), and whatever comes to mind when i wake up tomorrow ... but for now .. REST, RELAX and REFLECT ... add one more bonuslah - R-E-J-O-I-C-E!

One Take on "Happiness"

Kopi Ais (KA): So how was work my friend? Good to get out and just enjoy the weekend huh? Just let go, you know what I mean.

Teh Tarik (TT): Yeah, it was a hard week. Not very happy one too. Y'know, it's just hard to enjoy my work these days. The pay is ... okaylah, hehehe. But, things can just go so out of control and you just don't know what to expect anymore.

KA: What do you mean - don't know what to expect. I thought job descriptions are clear nowadays. And you would have roughly know what you are getting into when you said yes to the offer right?

Milo Ping (MP): Hi guys, sorry I'm late .. you know .. Federal Highway has these weird traffic jams this time of night ... it's gonna be midnight for goodness sake.

KA & TT: Hi!

MP: So, what's up?

KA: Teh was just telling me about his lousy week.

MP: Oh welcome to planet earth .. heheh.

TT: Hey, you're on the same planet okay? ... Anyway, I was just saying how things are so "out of control". And I agree with Kopi that on paper stuff is clear and of course it's just unrealistic to think work is gonna be smooth sailing. I'm in my thirties - so any idealism has already been shattered.

MP: So, what's bugging you friend? The people ... it's always the fellow colleagues ... or superior ... or ...

KA: I think people is definatelt one thing .. but maybe it's this sense that suddenly "stuff" just pile up ... or something just "happens". Usually, it's interupting ...

TT: Yeah .. you got that right. It's those "something just crops up" stuff.

MP: But you can't let these "stuff" suck your energy man. Because, I'm sure they aren't gonna end ... they just keep on coming. A bit like that 100 Agent Smiths fighting NEO in the Matrix Reloaded.

TT: Oh no .. the Matrix bug has got you too ... hahaha!

KA: I agree with Milo. I've given up the idea that "I deserve a smooth sailing life". - Even if I like the idea but it's just not reality. And if I'm gonna base my happiness on a life with no bumpy rides, then I'm doomed for sure.

MP: Bumpy rides are ok ... but if I land up having a "Titanic life" opps ... that's a bigger bummer than being bumpy... Just imagine, you think you're so "unsinkable" and then wah lah ...

TT: Oh no ... another "Movie" analogy .. give me a break.

MP: Hey, Come on. I thought you like Movies ...?

TT: Just joking .. I get your drift. But how do you guys handle stuff like this. I almost wanted to use another word for "stuff" just now.

KA: After our talk the last time Teh, I had lunch with this old retired pastor. Especially, since I didn't want you to think i'm "anti-happy". And he's gave me some gems. Wisdom .. the real thing. Maybe it might help.

TT: Don't preach to me ok ... and please no regurgitated sermon .. yucks! that's worse. No mental processing or mal-processing.

MP: Hold your horses man. Let's hear Kopi out .. first, then wallop him intellectually. hahaha!

KA: Well if I'm right ... he said something like this. He said, "We are--all things are--free to do whatever we or they choose to have happen. And happiness is simply our word for a felicitious tissue of such happenings--just as unhappiness is our name for a dire one." ... Make sense?

TT: What ..."felicitious"? a cat or something ... hehe.

MP: I don't really know what that is but the rest sounds good. Make it plain, Professor Kopi, tell it to me like i'm a six year old.

KA: Six year old? don't bluff .. your balding already. I think what he means is "happiness lies in our ability to accept everything that happens and then enjoy it gratefully or reconcile it patiently."

TT: So .. what you're saying is ... "stuff" is gonna come ... accept it and move on? So easymeh...

MP: But he's got a point ... drowning our sorrows in self-pity or cheap drinks at the MAMAK stall isn't to fun though. I'mean .. "we may not be able to control all of the things that happen outside us, or even the very many of the things that happen inside us; but since we're in control of both our gratitude and our patience, there is always and in every circumstance a path open to the happiness that GOD already has over everything."

TT: Wow .. deep stuff. Sound simple at the same time. hey, Milo when did you also start this GOD talk thing. Don't tell me you're converted?

MP: Well, you can say that if you like. I prefer to say "realigned" or "reconnected" ... to mysterious realities.hehehe ...

TT: You're scaring me man. Kopi, what did you do to him?

KA: Used a gun pointing at his head actually .. hehehe .. just joking!

TT: Some weird Christian you are ... Your Dad is a pastor some more! Aiyo ..what has this world become? But still ... isn't what both you, Milo and this retired pastor is saying too easy or too cheap ... it must be more complex right?

KA: Ok .. here's where my Christian bit really comes it. hang in there ok? I can't be something I'm not ... so here' what I believe. I don't think such happiness is cheap. To me and many Christians ... it cost even God some terrible hours on the cross.

TT: I'm listening ... so .... now what?

MP: That's when it hit me ... a different kind of "happiness" or a different quality ... I'm not too sure how to put it in words. What I'm trying to say is .. "Happiness" is available--and my story (i.e. my life), despite its shortcomings and trivialty, was designed to display just that availability.

TT: Kopi almost gave me the impression that Christians are "anti-happy"

KA: Hey .. i was questioning whether our supreme goal in life is the pursuit of happiness ok? I didn't say "happiness" is bad.

MP: Before you continue, I need to make my stomach "happy" ... its sure available for input. Mamak, Roti Sardin satu! You guys want anything?

TT: No, this conversation is "heavy" enough for the likes of someone like me ...

KA: Sorry guys .. got to go .. a bit late. I want to be a fresh as possible for worship tomorrow. Adn My wife SMS me too to come home earlier.

MP: Married men. No Freedom, right?

KA: We'll talk about Freedom another time, okay! Now, it's about responsibility ... hehehe.

TT: How about you Milo? You don't have to go to church tomorrow ... Christian freshie

MP: I'll finish my Roti Sardin first ... and I'm still single ...

Leadership ~ John Wimber's View

After the "Apostle" Blog earlier, I got this email "Power Point" on Leadership which brought me down earth again. After last night's church council meeting, these words are even more immediately relevant.

My View On Leadership By John Wimber

1. It is not administration. · Most material available today marries leadership and administration. · Administration is what we must do to implement leadership.

2. Leadership, by definition, is two things: · Getting the mind of the Lord for a given time and people. · The ability to envision with credibility these same people.

3. It is planning and executing the plan.

4. It is recruiting, training, deploying and monitoring according to the plan.

5. Though it is demonstrated in a wide range of styles, it must be appropriate for the people you are leading and the plan you are executing.

6. It is the ability to adjust the plan, should the need arise.

7. It is the enablement to ask for forgiveness should you lead your people down a false trail.

8. It is sometimes demonstrated by recognizing who is leading in a given situation.

9. It can never be assumed; it is only authenticated by a following.

10. It is tested: · By continuing to demonstrate that you are the leader. · It is illustrated through modeling the message (what you are and what you say). · It is molded by the circumstances of both success and failure. (We must not assume that the leadership model of the past is best for the present; we must constantly evaluate our current-effectiveness.) It is enhanced by surrounding yourself with people whose capabilities exceed your own in a defined area of work.

Apostles ... today?! - A Christian in-house matter

"Here's my name card." And the name cards states ... Apostle "U-asked-for-it" ~ Enthusiastic "modern day apostle"

"The apostolic function is the most neglected and yet most necessary gift for the worldwide church." ~ Robert Brow

"Many people like to claim the title in some circles today, but not all are aware of the biblical price involved in this calling" ~ Craig S. Keener

I was asked over the mobile phone today about my definition of the term "Apostle" and their ministry in today's context. Wow ... who am I to offer my feeble thoughts on such a massive subject. Pages 128 -132 of NT scholar Keener's book "Gift & Giver" gave me some help. Here's a summary:

Preliminary thoughts ...
"Paul never restricted the use of God's apostles to the Twelve or to the Twelve plus himself (Rom. 16:7; 1 Cor. 15:5-6; Gal. 1:19; compare occassionally even in Acts 1:26; 14:4, 14)"

And then some important considerations (more details in his chapter on "A closer look at Some Spiritual Gifts":
1. Apostles seem to have broken new ground originating a ministry.
2. Apostles apparently exercised an authority generated by their ministry role, not by the church's institutional structure.
3. Both signs and sacrificial, simple living chracterized apostolic ministry.

As for the term:
"An apostle is literally a commissioned "messenger" similar to the ancient idea of a herald or the Jewish custom of the shaliach. As an appointed agent of the one who sent him, a shaliach was backed by the full authority of the one who sent him (to the extent that he accurately represented his commission"

Robert Brow comes to the topic of "Apostles and Teams" from a different angle which is worth a look. His final comment on Apostle Paul was insightful!

"These fourteen years of preparation gave Paul his theological training and practical experience in the exercise of various spiritual gifts. We must recognize that, whereas most of us are one-talent men, there are others in the church with two or more spiritual gifts. Usually to qualify as an apostolic leader of a mission team, a man will need to have developed evangelistic, teaching, and administrative gifts. Paul obviously had these, and he also spoke in tongues and had a gift of healing. He was at least a five-talent man. Inevitably as he began moving in the Mediterranean world his gifts and leadership were recognized, younger men joined him, churches backed them, and the team enriched the Christian bloodstream in the Roman world."

Personally, just putting a title on a name card means nothing to me. God's calling as an Apostle is more about the Kingdom of God, the extension of his church, the development of the Body of Christ in different times and localities. Furthermore, I feel that a 21-century "Apostle" vocal volumne, eloquence, aggressiveness and charisma is so so secondary to his authentic Christian character, commitment to Missional advancement and enhanced abilities to lead pplus working with a wide network of churches. One who is a true servant both with multiple gifts and a genuine character of grace in the most enhanced way.

Funny, Professor X of the X-men came to mind when I was thinking about this in the shower.

Silk Wedding Anniversary ~ Married 4 Years already!

"I talk marriage; they talk weddings!" ~ Robert Farrar Capon

This is one quote that sticks with me forever! Capon is spot on ... I've already conducted 6 weddings since BLC was re-born. That one day for the wedding can be overwhelming indeed. Whether it's in the serene island of Langkawi, well-carpeted hotel banquet room or a quiet church sanctuary. The Wedding is part of the marriage but marriage is more than just the wedding ... a life-long committed covenant relationship with another human being created in the image of God is no joke!

Today marks 4 years in our "journey" together as husband and wife. May Chin and I tied the knot so to speak on 5 June 1999 after about 10 years of courtship.

I check out wedding album this morning and it was "endutaining" (my invented phrase). There are some interesting ways of looking at anniversaries

Year 1 : Paper Anniversary
Year 2 : Cotton Anniversary
Year 3 : Leather Anniversary
Year 4 : Silk Anniversary

So, we're into the Silk Anniversary. I found that cute considering we passed the leather (tough) phase *grin*. But, I do like the"Silk" image .. very Chinese, there's a smoothness about it, a kind of strength as well style in the material, the metaphor just begs imagination! I like it ...

We had fun last night sitting across the table at Sri Hartamas SOULED OUT (My in-laws as always taking extra hours to take care of Gareth). The Lamb Shanks - Yummy! The Pasta - yummy (again!) .. Drinks (phew!). Environment (acceptable..) It was like we're a young couple just dating as if we've first "fallen in love" *grin again* Anyway May Chin always looks young. It's her amazing gift considering now she's a mother of one - Gareth Kit.

Talked. Listened. Asked questions. Answered questions. Reflected. Giggled a lot. Paused when necessary. Looked around at people. We were just so Thankful!

I've been "sobered" a lot the past three years especially in regards to what my young friend calls "Life, love & mysteries". Not that I've lost my excitement for what's going on here on earth. I've witnessed a decent amount of suffering, non-sense, mistakes, hypocrisy, disappointments, etc. in this world .. as well as the wider Christian community (no one is immune) .. there's is still HOPE. Maybe less "triumphalistic" is the best word I can unearth to describe it. I think that's why my recent study using Bonheoffer's "Life Together" touches me so much with his Christian "REALISM". Through this journey to "REALISM", May Chin has been a consistent companion - often guarding my heart and guiding my thought processes. I could never be who I am today without her. Her presence in my life is definately part of my life's equation!

Four final thoughts ... after 4 years.

Accepting the whole package in each other just as we are is the right "STARTING POINT". Our uniqueness in personality, character, personal development, family background, education, vocation (career & calling), friends, moods, values ... the whole deal.

Sharpening each other's rough edges keeps us on track in our maturity as humans. We accept each other as we are ... but we won't stay just as we are ... because we won't anyway ... we will change, we might has well be conscious about it, accompany each other and intentionally move to the right direction together!

Having Christ at the center of our marriage - whether we're in the lows, the highs or just middle (mundane) - is CRUCIAL ... for our Commitment and even Creativity in our development as a couple (the Scriptures & the Spirit come in powerfully here).

Christian Community is a non-negotiable for us ... it's a safe place for us to play and to pray. Close friends, spiritual mentors, and skilled counsellors can strengthen marriages and save marriages. Christian Community is God's gift to us.

Once again ... We thank GOD.
Thank You Father, for your love
Thank You Jesus, for your grace
Thank You Spirit , for your fellowship
Amen ... Yes!

Harmful Ideas or Helpful ideas ~ Sparked by Dr. Mahathir's Speech

Kopi Ais (KA): Oi, how come I'm here?

Teh Tarik (TT): Well, we're two new characters in some "constructed reality" by some guy banging on the keyboard. It's suppose to be fun for him.

KA: Have you been watching the Matrix over and over again? You must be nuts! how is this possible?

TT: Ai yah ... drink your Kopi Aislah? My personal Movie habits are none of your business. I just thought of throwing some "philosophy" in your face, and you react like that!

KA: Ok ... Ok, hehe, hey this "Loh Mai Kai" is good. ...By the way, did you read DR. Mahathir's Speech delivered at the International Policy Studies in Tokyo, Japan on "The Asian Dimension under the New World Order - Evolving Paradigms in Asia and Japan"?

TT: Me? I usually just read the sports and entertainment section .. all this is too Big headed for me ... anyway, what can you get from speeches? it's all talk ...

KA: I don't usually read them too .. but somehow I thought why not give it a try. And then I found some interesting thoughts. I'mean ... just take the content as it islah ... minus some Malaysian scepticism and "tidak-apa" attitude. You'll find that, the speech has some merits ..

TT: Like what?

KA: Skipping some of the analysis part, I found his comments on the power of ideas interesting. For example, he mentioned "Some of the ideas coming from the Europeans are obviously harmful. ". I'm not going into the whole debate of European or Asian ideas. But, some Ideas can be harmful and other ideas can be more helpful.

TT: Now, you just scolded me about the Matrix Movie! And here you are "Philosophizing" about IDEAS! You are a "constructed reality" living a "contradictory existence".

KA: I prefer to be seen as PARADOXICAL thank you! Hehehe .. Well, Dr. M of course is talking about issues related to economy and politics. Y'know, "Market liberalisation and deregulation" the Mega issues ... but I was just thinking in the toilet today, even in our more Micro lives. It's the same ..

TT: What man? You think about this in the mental lab of your toilet? You need help! Can we have a "constructed" therapist here? hahaha!

KA: Laugh as you may ... take the idea of "The supreme goal in life is to pursue my happiness" Sounds innocent right? at least on the surface. So, everything I do will be revolved around that. But the ...

TT: Are you saying being happy is wrong? c'mmon man .. you're not gonna talk about "Life should be gloom and doom" right? Chill out! Must enjoy life what!

KA: Oi .. hold onlah. That's not what I mean ... look we're going for the "Nemo" movie ok? So, you know I'm not down on being happy. hey, it's part of life .. what I'm saying is if our whole idea is just revolved around my own happiness then it could turn from a pleasant dream to a nightmare. What if everyone thinks like that? And we're just focused on me - and my happiness! everyone is for himself and herself .. and if all that we do does not even consider other people's "happiness" then all of us lose!

TT: what do you mean? I'm just getting confused here .. how can Dr. M's speech land you up in this non-sensical pursuit, is there such a word?

KA: this is reflective readingmah. It's just allowing what someone else wrote to spark my own thoughts. And I am not saying , I repeat I am not saying .. you can pursue happiness ok? I'm just questioning this idea "The supreme goal in life is the pursuit of my happiness". The pursuit of "OUR HAPPINESS" is an improvement and a more helpful idea . I know you're gonna ask Why?

TT: No ... I'm for that. But, WHY anyway?

KA: well, it does make us less "self"-centred. So, besides always thinking about ourselves, we think about people around us and the consequences of our actions on them.

TT: You seem to have some other more HELPFUL idea in mind. Are you gonna throw me this Christian stuff again? Love Godlah, love peoplelah and all that?

KA: So you're saying this is not an helpful idea?

TT: No offense .. but sounds too good to be true. I'mean .. like "The supreme goal in life is the pursuit of Love." hey, sounds good actually!

KA: Ahh ... "LOVE" not in the abstract .. careful here .. "Love" is a delicate word. Loving my Dog is different from Loving my CDs. Loving my wife is different from loving my mother. Loving myself is different from Loving a picture of myself.

TT: You are driving me nuts ok? Is there something in your Kopi Ais?

KA: It's just that the word "LOVE" is kind of what I'm looking for as well. I think it's better than "Happiness". Because when I genuinely LOVE - I'mean- able to give and receive Love. I guess, I'd be happy and so would those around me.

TT: You sound mushy! Mamak .. Teh tarik lagi satu!

Mamak: ok boss!

KA: yeah ... I guess so, unless the LOVE we talk about is not the Mushy type .. something more MYSTERIOUS, huh?

TT: Now you're scaring me .. the caffiene is going to your head, friend!

KA: hey, I'm on the roll here! MYSTERIOUS not in a horror-movie-like-spooky sense. But more like a detective-story sense .. where we keep on discovering new "evidence" about love and what it means. And of course, in the pursuit of this kind of "Love". Our lives change as a result of the pursuit.

TT: My God! opps .. sorry. Heheheh got to go now ... My boss has this "Harmful idea" - i.e. we are his slaves and need to work our heads off for his happiness ... got to get back to the office ... see ya tomorrow.

KA: Until we meet again ...

Community & Meetings

I've been thinking a lot about what happens in our LiFE Group meetings and Worship Gatherings lately. It's just this REALITY CHECK thing going on in me. Then coupled with a fantastic series of sessions with Wolfgang leading a group of us pastors to reflectively read on Bonhoeffer's Classic on Community "Life Together" that poked me even more ... how I wish we could slowly but surely work out the ideals as expounded in that booklet ... no wonder I couldn't help but place it in year 2 of the BLC Discipleship School.

I've come to understand that though the genuine experience of "Community" and having "meetings" are distinct but they are not exclusive. There is a link between them. I've suddenly felt that in the conversations of Christians .. "meetings" have gotten overly bashed. again, Right use is the solution to misuse. And here's where Todd Hunter's Two Questions stayed with me ... so gotta let it out!

“How will this meeting help us “wash up”…help us in our spiritual transformation into Christ-likeness?”

“How will it help ALL the members of our community of faith discover their passion, find their mission—the defenseless they see--and learn about their gifts?”

I do hope in days to come .. BLC will experience this at small group levels as well as together as a whole. When "meetings" become a tool to foster and create authentic "community", then it's such a blessing ... The two questions provide focus when we meet, and a good guide to improve ourselves.

And now, I'm going off to another meeting - The Toasmaster's Bangsar meeting at Paradise Hotel .. I felt like thinking along these lines too for my so called "secular" club ... just some thoughts .. not so crucial. But, for a church these thoughts (i.e. the two questions) are CRITICAL ...

Tony Campolo

Tony Campolo has supplied me with stories after stories that warm my heart and challenge my mind.

This guy is no sit-there-and-do-nothing type of guy. he's active-on-the-move-reflective-too type ... his story of the parable of ducks by Kiegerkaard (something like that) and his crazy antics in the Elevator are gems (which I used in last weeks message). Socially Active and Spiritually sensitive - a rare and even paradoxical combination I must say ... whenever i'm in a status quo mode ... I read something written by him, listen to a sermon, or just think of his face (hehehe) ... for more go to his website

REALITY CHECK ...

It's already half way into the year 2003. Time just flies by so quickly after one reaches 30 Years of age (oklah I'm 31 in October!). And it's already three years plus since a group of us started BLC. Three years now being the ONLY pastor. Three years of having lots of Freedom to meet different peopleand engage in all sorts of conversations within and outside of church. Recently facing new experiences as a parent, adapting to different family situations, and just simply aging! Someone once said "Leadership is the ability to define REALITY". Well, I think mere mortals need to learn to define reality not just leaders :-) What are some REALITIES that I've observed, or encountered, it's "My perception" of the REALITIES, no doubt .. and they are very REAL to me ... And I dare not talk about stuff way beyond my capacity ... I dare not sound that I'm "Ranting" or "complaining" .. and yet ... I dare not speak to "IDEALISTICLY" detached from the REAL Stuff of life ... Anyway, here goes ... Abstracts words coming out from concrete experiences ... the Bad News keeps me on my toes-I need to Guard my heart! The Good News makes me dance- I'm encouraged to continue in God's loving Guidance!

THE BAD NEWS ...
1. Eloquent words and a vast vocabulary(inclusive of higher education) are supposed to give us a better way of EXPRESSING oneself ... but it seems that all this has become tools for EXPLAINING away our lack of Commitment to people, to God, or even to what's for our betterment. EXPLAINING away is too "politically correct". It's plain giving EXCUSES. Time for us to Give up EXCUSES!

2. Leadership is overated ... even though I believe we need good and godly leaders more than ever before. It's easier to WISH our LEADERS (in whatever form) will do something, or become someone of our liking (or making) rather than sitting down and DECIDING to do something about it ourselves - even if it's a small step. Before one can truly lead, one must know how to FOLLOW ...

3. Aim at "Being SUCCESSFUL", life is about "Being HAPPY", than talk about "Being GOOD" ... this seems to be the common priority these days-in that sequence. We pay lip service to efforts in Being good maybe to ease our guilt conscience (which is sad to say almost disappearing) or to at least "look good" to others ... a little bit of "religion" is ok as long as it doesn't get in the way of being successful (i.e. defined as achieving anything I want) and being happy (i.e. defined as feeling good about myself). If being GOOD is more important than SUCCESS and HAPPINESS will look quite different.

4. SINCERITY is such a rare quality displayed these days. And when we find sincere people ... it's cause for celebration - Big celebration :-). People become just a means to our ends ... when that happens too often ... we find it hard to trust genuine sincere efforts of people reaching out to us ... without sincerity, our society simply collapses!

5. SPIRITUALITY, PHILOSOPHY ... maybe even THEOLOGY seems to be cool again these days. The recent two Block Busters, Xmen 2 (has some of it), Matrix Reloaded (has loads of it) ... I wonder whether it's just gonna be "Chicken soup"-mere-"junk food" type of stuff or real-authentic-life-changing "Meals" which is healthy ... ? FIND me some people who are SERIOUS about these Big three .. and SERIOUS about living what we talk about ... even if our efforts will never reach perfection in our lifetime ..

THE GOOD NEWS ...
1. A conscious, intentional, focused quest for genuine spirituality (in my case Christian) and integration to daily life to tremendously rewarding and enriching ... money just can't buy it!

2. There are still people who are SINCERELY seeking GOODNESS and GODLINESS , all is not lost ...(often not the masses).. getting connected to them breathes fresh energy to our daily pursuits.

3. If one want to seriously engage on an adventure and journey with Christ, the RESOURCES are unlimited and there will always be at least SOMEONE who can accompany them along the journey.

4. There is a sane way to be a CHRISTIAN ... in this insane world. And it's not hard ... it's simple ... (doesn't mean no struggle though..heheh) .. It's available to all who search for it!

5. There is still hope to see "spiritual" and "social" transformation modeled after the concept of SHALOM in the Bible - i.e. wholeness. It's not dropping out from the sky ... it's coming up from the lives of people who merge their stories to the Bigger Story of God's Revolution in our times and final Restoration on the Final Day ...