Sivin Kit's Garden

Gareth & me ... WOW!

all thanks to GrandPa and GrandMa Long (May Chin's parents) for training this young lad to invest his "stuff" into the potty rather than the pampers.

this boy is jovial and full of joy as his Chinese name "ler" alludes to. he's pretty gentle as well ... he cries when shocked (I thought that was normal) but also when people suddenly make loud noises (whether it's laughing or shouting).

wow! in the month of October he's gonna be a one year old boy!

MISSIONAL? - Back to the beginning ...

I got an email yesterday that asked me about BLC, as well as some questions on our practices and distinctives. It's funny, with the "Lutheran" bit tagged on to us that's an immediate interest in what that means. I admit I appreciate my Lutheran heritage much more nowadays. But, the starting of BLC and I believe the Biblical & theological vision that caught me was based on some pretty deep stuff in a book called "Missional Church" . The funny part was it was based on some serious heavy weight more related to the North American Context. But, there was a lot of resonance on this side of the earth in Malaysia. And when the key verse John 20:21 hit me hard ... the rest is still a tough, hard, often uphill history in the making.

The word we use in BLC's Vision Statement is "Missional Church" & "missional communities". The BLC Mission statement is also connected to this center. A more theological term would be "missional ecclesiology". I found a pretty good summary online.

_________________________________________________

missional ecclesiology is grounded in the central theme in Jesus' message -- the Reign of God. Jesus proclaimed the Kingdom; all else in his message and ministry demonstrated life inside that Kingdom.

- When he healed the sick, it was to demonstrate that inside the Kingdom there is no more illness.
- When he opened the eyes of the blind, it was to demonstrate that inside the Kingdom everyone can see.
- When he pronounced forgiveness of sins, it was to demonstrate that inside the Kingdom sin and death have no hold upon us.
- When he welcomed the outcasts, it was to demonstrate that inside the Kingdom everyone has a place.

Not only Jesus' mission, but that of his disciples was centered around the Kingdom. Jesus invited people to "receive and enter" the Kingdom; to live inside the household of God.

In light of Jesus' own teaching, the church must always seek its definition with the reign of God in Christ as its crucial reference point.

- The church is not to be equated with the reign of God, but it is to be a sign that points away from itself to the Kingdom.

- It is to be an instrument of the reign of God through its deeds of self-giving service, through the way it presents an alternative identity and vision to the world, and through the ways it seeks freedom, peace, and unity for the whole creation.
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Conversion

When we travel overseas we need a conversion of currency. A house can be converted from one kind of use to another, or the heating system can be converted say from oil to natural gas. There are conversions from one religion to another (as in Acts 15:3). Paul was converted from Pharisaism on the Damascus Road. I was converted from Atheism to Christian faith on October 7, 1947. A member of any religion can experience conversion when a formal faith suddenly grips the heart. In the New Testament baptism is a means of enrolling a disciple to begin learning from a new teacher (as in John 4:1). Jesus said "Unless you change and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven (Matthew 18:3). Children love to laugh and play, and be cuddled and loved. They can easily learn half a dozen different languages, and many other new skills, by the age of seven. But becoming like little children can only be produced in us by the Holy Spirit. Which is why in the New Testament conversion is when the person is added to a community of the Spirit (see the contrast in Acts 8:12 and 8:15-17, as explained in 1 Corinthians 12:13). That is when real change begins to occur. ~ Robert Brow

I like Brow's way of linking ordinary stuff like conversion of currency to what usually is a "Big" RELIGIOUS word. Brings the whole discussion down-to-earth! I was also thinking about "mini-conversions" that actually takes place in our CONVERSATIONS. So often we change our commitments to a particular topic, opinion or issue without even realizing it. And all this happens in the midst of our daily conversations or after the talk when we think about it. That's why I believe "Conversations" are so important as the Spirit "converts" our hearts to Him. Brian McLaren reminded me that try "counting conversations rather than conversions" for a change and that helped me see the important work of God before a "CONVERSION" takes place.

Christians have been using the "harvest" image frequently when it comes to "evangelising" but before a "harvest" there's the ploughing, the seed sowing, fertilizing, watering, sun-shining, and of course a period of time. In whatever "harvest" God is doing in our lives, there's lots going on before than and even after the "harvest" moment!

In preparation for this week's message, I'm caught at how this "Conversion" process (or in Brow's words becoming like a child) continues in our lives and it doesn't stop. I think Peter in Acts 10-11 is an Apostle & Jewish Christian that needed a "fresh conversion" when part of his mental currency was out of line with God's kingdom currency. :-) i.e. God includes the Gentiles too ... they too can be part of the people of God!

Daily as I allow God's work to deepen in my life, I find my self converted more and more in line with his Aims and Agenda. Much of it is encapsuled during what I'm calling nowaday my "orchid" times (i.e. Time alone with God with the Scriptures open and a willing heart to listen). Many a times it happens during or after some "conversation" with someone, or a book, or an intensive period of reflection, .. I think there's a kind of "ongoing" conversion we go through from one stage to another as a human, as a Christian and for me as a pastor ...

Father or Grandfather in Heaven?

"We want in fact not so much a father in Heaven as a grandfather in heaven - a senile benevolence who as they say 'liked to see young people enjoying themselves.'" ~ C.S. Lewis in The Problem of Pain

Had a good time with Gareth a while ago and watched him gradually fall asleep. Resisted all temptations to play with him because it's time for him to sleep. There's a time for everything. Gave thanks to God our Father for the joy of being a Father. And with Lewis' thought tonight, I appreciate the Father Heart of God even more.

Our Father who art in heaven, Hallowed be Thy name ....

Grace at Work - Tan Soo Inn

Amongst the many chapel speakers that graced STM during my time, Soo Inn ranks up on the list of one of the memorable ones. I saw him once with his notebook at Deli France. Midvalley, "cooking" up something on the keyboard.

It's wonderful to read good, reflective and practical writing all rolled into one by a Malaysian Christian. My friend mentioned to me an e-commentary Soo Inn wrote, before he forwarded it to me I checked it out on his website. I think his "Making Sense" is also a quality book that's worth reading! Nuggets of wisdom by a fellow Malaysian just waiting to be devoured.

Malaysia Boleh!

I'm baacck! No more, no less ...

Phew ... what a weekend. Sunday was of course nothing out-of-the-ordinary except a bunch of Christ-followers gathering at the Father's House just to honor HIM in worship (I realize now the fact that we gather itself is a WITNESS to the World of our Father's love and provision!). Now, we're all scattered in out respective locations and vocations!

Sunday 4pm onwards, I spent some hours with my Toastmaster buddies ... and sat through an EXCO meeting. I'm humbled to be the Sargent at Arms (SAA), and plan to do a better job than last year (because i didn't know what I got into as a VP Public relations). The club president used the word "Ambassador" at the meeting to describe my role and function. Hmm .... hehehehe

Saturday was a marathon ... starting at 2pm with the afternoon taken up by the 1st Asian Youth Ambassador Leadership Institute (AYALI) Board Meeting. One thing for sure, I wasn't bored! It's good to hang around people with a sense of vision and mission. It kinds of rubs off on ya!

After that, I almost got lost around 4:30pm at Sunway trying to get to Community Baptist Church Sunway (I've just been there once!). God knows what we need and he supplies definately just enough for us. I was kind of feeling a little low at times dues to some not-so-encouraging news which is a common occurance nowadays. One of the youth shared about how letting go of some "unhelpful" pressure actually helped him do his best for his last exams. We talked about it at the youth camp last year. It's fantastic to see ministry last year bearing fruit this year. I'm so glad he told me.

After speaking, worshipping and praying with the CBC youth (I think about 60 of them), landed at the 4A house about 9pm. Had a nice curry chicken dinner to reward myself.

Glad to spent some time with Gareth and May Chin on Monday. Then the evening was the 50th Anniversary Worship Rehearsal. Don't know what happened to my right ear? Is it water? or something went in? Disturbing and uncomfortable. Anyway, God's grace is sufficient for me.

I was reading Exodus this morning and was struck by how God supplied just enough of "heavenly food" when the grumbling people of Israel was in the wilderness. Just enough portion for one day - no more, no less. And I think it's the same with spiritual energy and resource he gives me these days. Just enough - no more, and no less. It's not like getting a full tank one day and hope it supplies my need the whole week - or the whole month - surely not long term. Sporadic explosions are great but sporadic. The life in Christ is a daily affair ... the ministry & work for His Kingdom is no different.

A Simple Prayer

I am, O God, a jumbled mass of motives.
One moment I am adoring you, and the next I am shaking
my first at you.
I vacillate between mounting hope, and deepening despair.
I am full of faith, and full of doubt.
I want the best for others, and am jealous when they get
it.
Even so, God, I will not run from your presence. Nor will
I pretend to be what I am not. Thank you for accepting me
with all my contradictions.
Amen.

(p. 6, Prayers from the Heart by Richard Foster)

Post-STM Thoughts

Spent half a day at STM, Seremban yesterday. I enjoyed walking through the library and browsing through books on the shelf. Regretted withdrawing my deposits and membership, so paid RM75 to re-activate membership for two books. Anyway, I'll be coming more frequently if the plans for my Masters works out. Picked up a book on "Ordained" ministry (better get a clear picture of what it means) and "Ecclesiology" (a possible area of interest I might focus on for post-grad work).

Experienced an IONA worship liturgy during the chapel service which was refreshing. The music part kind of distracted it a little (it's ok, more of inexperience - anyway, nevermind), the message was good though bit too long. In fact, I think it was kind of three mini-messages weaved into one based on Matthew 4 (The tempation of Christ) or the three points can be single messages in themself (maybe my attention span is growing shorter - does that mean I'm growing younger? hehe). I found the feeding each other with a bun after the blessing funny and couldn't help laughing. It was good to see some old seminary mates (now turned pastors). We were feeding each other while bubbling with smiles and giggles.

Talked to a couple of people. Got two forms for application one for Augy and another for me. It's good to know, friends can embark on a journey of life-long learning together. It's kind of like we're the two fellas on the road to Emmaus. So, I'm looking forward for our eyes to be open to see the Lord's revelations. We need that so much in times like this, when we're tempted to take our eyes off that which matters most..

As we learn together, we're also seeing things in a new light personally. I'll be doing the text on Saul in Acts 9:1-31 this week. I love the "scales falling off" description. We've got lots of scales that need falling off ... today's visit reminded me of that.

Running the Human Machine - Why do we need Moral Rules?

Morality raises in a good many people's minds: something that interferes, something that stops you having a good time. In reality, moral rules are directions for running the human machine. Every moral rule is there to prevent a breakdown, or a strain, or a friction, in the running of that machine. That is why these rules at first seem to be constantly interfering with our natural inclinations. When you are being taught how to use any machine, the instructor keeps on saying, "No, don't do it like that," because, of course, there are all sorts of things that look all right and seem to you the natural way of treating the machine, but don't really work.

- C.S. Lewis (p. 69, Mere Christianity)

Lewis Smedes & Forgiveness

The first time I heard of the name Lewis Smedes was after a leadership seminar organized at my previous church probably just after my form five. I asked one of the speakers who left a deep impression - Peter Chao from Eagles Communication - how did he learn how to speak with such depth and insight.

From then on I searched every Christian bookstore and bought almost all the books Lewis Smedes wrote. The landmark book according to many is Forgive and Forget - surprisingly I got my first copy at Fuller Theological Seminary bookstore, Pasadena, CA. USA. after I graduated from seminary about 6 years ago.

Smedes was able to combine down-to-earth realism with heavenly grace that's empowering. Many of his writings set me free to appreciate God's grace and down-to-earth Christian living. On a delicate subject like Forgiveness, he says:

"The act of forgiving, by itself, is a wonderfully simple act; but it always happens inside a storm of complex emotions. It is the hardest trick in the whole bag of personal relationships." (p. 2, Forgive & Forget: Healing the Hurts we don't deserve)

And it's so so true ... I see in my own life. And I see it in those who wrestle with inner battles and daily emotional storms when it comes to Forgiveness. It's a word we use so lightly at times and lose the "life-changing" truth it offers us. And we linger on in hurts and pains and drift further away from the road to healing and freedom.

At times I'm frustrated because people use the word "forgiveness" when they are actually "excusing" the wrong doing. Others use the word in a way as if we can wipe out every single memory of pain - when we will never forget (unless we push it deep into our subconscious) - we can remember the wrong doing in a new light - with new eyes (cf. Smedes tells a beautiful fable on "the Magic Eyes" in his book).

Simple act -- hardest trick ... what a description. More and more I find clear thinking on muddled subjects like this is so necessary for true freedom to be experienced here and now. If not, we're tagging along with baggage and pain which we could have left behind earlier than expected.

But then, the fact is emotions are powerful. More and more of us find it hard to handle our emotions, somehow emotions and feelings have taken a center stage in our lives. When our life choices are determined more by feelings and emotional comfort, I think we miss out on the clear (often common sense) wise apporach provided by truth, reason and trust in God (who definately knows better) and others (who are often more objective).

MORE THAN ENOUGH ... Aquisition or Abundance

A short episode but carries long term effects on me. Reflected on 2 Kings 4:42-44 and the phrase (a kind of promise from the Lord) saying "they shall eat and some left over" (v. 43) grabbed me!

When I think about what I have now. God's "provision" is enough for me, but actually in many ways it's more than enough until we as a family can extend God's blessings to us to others. There's this guy from Baal-shalishah who's anonymous here this scripture - a no-name faceless character whom God uses. Can't help but think of the little boy who offered the 5 loaves and 2 fishes to Jesus to feed the five thousand. But, that doesn't matter because when God provices he can use anyone .. and it's often more than enough

i think the trouble with many of us is - we feel what we have is not enough. Somehow, there's a leakage maybe - who knows? And thus, our mode of operation in life , tends to more "acquisition" (not that acquiring is wrong in itself - it's a natural part of life - but as a default mode. I don't think so where I wannt to go!)

But, in Christ ... we've even got "left overs." The picture is "Abundance". That totally revises our vision of how we are living. The illusion is we live out of emptiness, dryness, poverty ... and we're only "meaningful" if _______ or if ________. I'll still grant a hint of truth in that. But that's far from the whole truth when one has bowed their lives to Christ. Lord have mercy on our foolishness.

a quick skim on the earthy realities here ...
- One look at my bank account - okay my face isn't on Fortune 500 - but I enjoy more than one decent meal every day. In fact, afterwards it's gonna be roast pork (siew yoke) rice.

- I'm extremely thankful for the place the LCMS allows me to stay. I admit - the termits are still working over time here and there, but it's become our home. It's good to have a home.

- The green Kancil has served us well through the years. I enjoy driving the TOYOTA Unser when i have a chance it is cool and stable, but both have 4 wheels and an engine that's running.

Talk about all the basic necessities - I don't think we lack anything. And it's good to have "extras" here and there. I haven't talked about relationships, surprises, new discoveries, and so on yet ...

My non-Christian friend told me last week that I look "contented". I wonder what he meant. I take it that I appear "satisfied" with life (hhmmm?!). It's not the first time I heard this. If it's just learning to walk through a "gratitude" & "thanksgiving" excercise above then he's right, I feel that "I am contented" as far as my "life in Christ" is concern (in a healthy way). I'm know I'm accepted, and I'm still learning as Christ's apprentice and growing to fulfill his call as an ambassador for His Kingdom. I'm thankful, my mind is taken off many anxieties which could have been potentially crippling as a human(they are still there ... it's just their powers over us become more limited).

But, there's is some "discontentment" in me - if I'm honest (and I think we all do anyway - it's a matter on what area). For me, it's especially in terms of the mission I believe he's entrusted me with. I feel there are a lot more people non-Christian or Christian who need "Christ" and the Kingdom message to allow a transformtion to take place in their outlook, worldview, values, ok ... the whole deal! Not as "presented" with the so many added embellishments that confuse people like my friend - but getting to the core of it all first - "Mere Christianity" according to C.S. Lewis.

We need to get some "stuff" or "baggages" out of the way ... so all may gain access to the "Abundance" that's already available . Maybe it's hidden to the eyes of some for whatever reason, but like those 3D pictures popular a while ago- just because one can't see it doesn't mean it's not there! As a Christ-follower our mode of operation is out of the "Abundant Life" he's given us. It maybe hard to see much in 5 loaves and 2 fishes ... but it depends who's hands it is given to ...

Random Thoughts B4 Breakfast

Finnish guy came for worship after visiting BLC website! Wow!

Gareth starting to make funny faces.

Bruce Lee's fights are so intense. Love the F1 style howls and the post enerygy release on his face. The "symbolic acts" in "Fist of fury" was cool e.g. kicking the chinese and dogs not allowed signboard in pieces & tearing the East Asian Sick Man Paper.

Visited Uncle Lim. Cancer is deadly. We shook hands a bit. He could at least touch Gareth's feet. It was hard for me.

Got a little "stiff-neck" (not metaphorically) after waking up this morning.

where on earth is my Mobile phone?

"Reading the Scripture" is more than just muttering words from the printed page. It's "Speaking for God". I think the participants got the "seriousness" of their task at the workshop.

MPPJ library closes at 2pm on Sunday. Missed it again! (I learn slow)

Managed to send two "illuiminations" for HELP CF devotions.

Adam recited the "love the Lord with ..." passage .. touched deeply.

An Island in the sea (where the kids hang out), adults sitting on little boats (i.e. the chairs) - that was a last minute inspiration.

Why is it "arriving late" seems to be the norm especially for corporate Christian gatherings big or small? We'd never dream of that when meeting the Agong ... but why meeting our "heavenly Agong" gets the second best ... or the worst.

I'm late ... no phone ... Augy waiting .. good to have a friend to meet for breakfast.

Restraint is an art when it comes to artistic expression ... so is volumn. We need to learnt the art of dynamics in our musical expression.

Manufactured Miracles

Robbie Williams oh Robbie Williams why is it thy MTVs give me such impressions that I need to get stuff off my chest to feel better? The "Lord make me a better man" has glittered I dunno how many messages, private comments, and personal thoughts. And now, "Manufactured Miracles"...

Participants who would go to the extreme to imitate their "idol" - twisting their hips, pulling their heads back, the smile, the singing, even the underwear or lack of it (oosh!). All for a prize ... to be like Robbie Williams - to be with Robbie Williams(I'll use RW from now on .. tiring typing the name!). The Passion, the commitment, the hard work, the embaressment, whatever it takes ... to be like RW, to be with RW, to show RW to all the world.

The three make it finally, the white limo sends them to Master RW classes to fine tune the moves, the make-up and the magic of RW already inherent in these RW wannabes! After rehearsing in front of wall-long mirrors with TV monitors guiding every step and a personal "mentor" every single moment ... the final products are out ... RWs in three new forms. They are all not RW ... but they are RW. That's what this whole "Manufacturing" is all about ... what a "miracle" it is ... the applause, the fame, the chance of a lifetime.

The word "manufactured" is ok ... from the whole industrial age. Nothing much to say. But I like the word "Miracle" ... wish it was put to better use. The way I remember it the word - "Miracle"- had a lot more punch than the few paragraphs trying to describe the RW phenomena above.

I think it had something to do with making the lame walk, the blind to see, announcing that all is debt free, a cross with GOD on it, a tomb with a missing Rabbi, fishermen changing the world, fiery pharisee turned martyr for a man he once hated, a bunch of nobodies giving away properties, a 15 year old wanting to be a shepherd rather than a scientist at a tender age, ...

Ahhh .... now that's no "human manufacturing" - it's outright "divine mystery"!

Top Three - Books on "Apologetics"

"Apologetics" at first seems to be about apologizing. It's not. According to the AnsMe.com dictionary, here goes:

apologetics (noun) -
1. the branch of theology that is concerned with the defense of Christian doctrines

And yet, though I realize this is kind of a official definition. I feel that tends to give an overtly strong defensive impression.

The Message puts it this way in 1 Peter 3:15
15Through thick and thin, keep your hearts at attention, in adoration before Christ, your Master. Be ready to speak up and tell anyone who asks why you're living the way you are, and always with the utmost courtesy.

I like the "speaking up" bit - it's firm and conversational. Too often, our silence sens a wrong message to people. Especially when we need to be ready to "tell anyone who asks why you're living the way you are, and always with the utmost courtesy." This Biblical picture is better. I believe in the midst of such honest conversations we have nothing to fear and much to gain in deepening our faith and clarifying our thoughts. It's a win-win!

So, here's my top three:

1. Letters From a Skeptic by Gregory & Edward Boyd

This is one of those books I searched I and low and was disappointed until Glad Sounds brought in some. The authentic exchange between Greg and his then ultra-skeptical father, Edward, was what attracted me. It's not just what was said but how it was said as well.

Greg comments in his preface about the letters:
"This correspondence is an illustration of how the intellectual and spiritual elements of an unbelievers' resistance to the Gospel can go hand in hand, and how a person can address both of these elements simultaneously. It is an illustration of how practical and effective apologetics can be. It is an example of how God can use intellectual considerations to reach and change the heart of one whose mind and heart had previously been impervious to the light of the Gospel. And, finally, this correspondence is a testimony to the transforming power of persistent love and honest communication in sharing the Gospel." (p. 10)

2. Finding Faith by Brian D. McLaren

Discovering McLaren has been a tremendous blessing! Finding this book in Kinokunya (KLCC) was a great surprise. I think SUFES has some now. Presenting "apologetics" in the form of "a Self-Discovery Guide for your spiritual quest" is a humble approach which I think is attractive. In fact, i think I found a deeper faith and new ways of thinking after working through this book a couple of times. There's no need to park our brains in the fridge when it comes to matters of faith. McLaren's holistic perspectives gave me a wider framework:

"Though a healthy faith is bigger than the intellect, the search for faith cannot bypass the intellect ... the search for faith also involves noncognitive parts of us -- emotions, longings, aspirations, dreams and hopes and fears, drives, desires, intuitions." (p.13)

The purpose of the book gives a nice twist to "good apologetics":

" ... this book was written: to help you replace the faith you lost, invigorite the faith you have, and develop the faith you desire but never had before." (p. 18)

3. Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis

I know this book is a classic. i just don't know why I came to it so late compared to the others. Okay, I admit I bought it because first it was a classic (and how can a pastor not have one). Second, it was a RM30 hardcover book (a deal!). So, the motivations were not too noble. But this last week as I'm carefully working through Lewis' thoughts with patience. I salute him again and again after every chapter. Now , I understand in reality why this is a classic. The analogies, illustrations, examples and metaphors he uses to combine his plain down-to-earth reasoning makes me "write-less" (similar to speechless). The following underlined samples has wet my appetite for imagery at its best.

"I hope no reader will suppose the "mere" Christianity is here put forward as an alternative to creeds of existing communions ... It is more like a hall out of which doors open into several rooms." (p. xv)

"... there is no such things as good and bad impulses. Think once again of a piano. It has not got two kinds of notes on it, the 'right' notes and the 'wrong' ones. every single note is right at one time and wrong at another. The Moral Law is not any one instinct or set of instincts: it is something which makes a kind of tune (tune we call goodness or right conducts) by directing the instincts." (p. 11)

"... what do we mean when we talk of God helping us? We mean God putting into us a bit of Himself, so to speak. He lends us a little of HIs reasoning powers and that is how we think: He purs a little of His love into us and that is how we love one another. When you teach a child writing, you hold its hand while it forms the letters: that is, it forms the letters because you are forming it. We love and reason because God loves and reasons and holds our hand while we do it." (p.57)

A Fighting Religion?

I never liked military imagery much to present Christianity because of the abuse nowadays in the media and some freaky Christians (Lord forgive me for being a little unkind here!) But, C.S. Lewis didn't shy away using it for his purposes in times surrounded by war and conflict. In fact, I felt he rightly uses "warfare" lingo on what really matters. It conveys the intensity, severity and urgency of the Christian message. Consider the following cries from Mere Christianity:

"Christianity is a fighting religion. It thinks God made the world--that space and time, heat and cold, and all the colours and tastes, and all the animals and vegetables, are things that God 'made up out of His head' as a man makes up a story. But it also thinks that a great many things have gone wrong with the world that God made and that God insists, and insists very loudly, on putting them right again." (emphasis mine, pp. 37-38)

Lewis knocks the nail in with this, read on (the background is a comparison with DUALISM - i.e. two independent powers at opposing ends)!

"The difference is that Christianity thinks this Dark Power was created by God, and was good when he was created, and went wrong. Christianity agrees with Dualism that this universe is at war. But it does not think this is a war between independent powers. It thinks it is a civil war, a rebellion, and that we are living in a part of the universe occupied by the rebel... Enemy-occupied territory--that is what this world is. Christianity is the story of how the rightful king has landed, you might say landed in disguise, and is calling us all to take part in a great campaign of sabotage. When you go to church you are really listening-in to the secret wireless from our friends: that is why the enemy is so anxious to prevent us from going. he does it by playing on our conceit and laziness and intellectual snobbery." (emphasis mine, pp. 45-46)

I liked the going to church example very much ... it does put things in an honest perspective! The subject of "Spiritual Warfare" has been kidnapped by quarters fascinated by the demonic and needs to be rescued back to everyday living. By confining it outside of ourselves to the weird, the scary, the odd-balls and strange occurances misses the whole point! The weird stuff (e.g. eye-balls rolling) as well as the mundane stuff (e.g. laziness) are different strategies in which the Enemy operates. Coupled with the our self-centredness and corrupted world, he's got plenty of room and access to wreck damage before his final countdown ends. I know I'm treading on dangerous ground here ... But knowing the Truth sets us Free! I need to know who's side I'm on. And sitting on the fence is not going to help.

The "civil war"-"rebellion" (in Lewis' terms) can be seen in different forms, shapes and styles. After listening to numerous struggles people have with work and relationships at the office (which takes more than 40hours of their life per week), that seems to be one place we need to sound an ALERT. Much energies are drained, and casualties are coming in. Surface solutions won't work, such as ...

... earning as much as we can so we can do what we really want
... finding the so called best work-environment
... pumping ourselves up with motivational "stuff"
... escaping weekly in some form of "entertainment"(momentary happiness) only to return to "hell"
... persevere without questioning
... complaining or questioning without being open for changes
... the list goes on, the cycle is unending

the Work place is one area to focus on, but there can be many others e.g. family, or friendships, etc.

Plunge deeper and we see the REAL battlefield is in ...
____ the way we "view" our world, and what is expected of us
_____ the "values" often submerged within us which we are to busy to find out. "Values" around us we may have unquestioningly adopted as a norm without putting it next to Kingdom values.
______ Our "vision" of who we are in God's eyes and where we are heading with the Christ-life he has given us, what on earth we are doing? Who are we?
______ the "life-shaping forces" we are exposed to whether human or otherwise, and what place do these "forces" have in influencing us.
______ the list may go on further. (I'm just getting a bit tired here.)

Honestly, sometimes it feels like we're on the losing end (especially when we hear bad news or see casualties). Othertimes it feels like cheers all around (when there's Good News and we see victory flags flying high). My hope lies in the "Rightful King has landed" and "He's making a final touch down" soon (when the appointed time comes!). I'm living in between, all of us are ... I trust my "Rightful King" - he's got our best interest in mind, he's got the power to make it so - CHRISTUS VICTOR (Christ is the Winner!)

Random Thoughts After the Rain

"BLC oozes passion!" was such an encouragement some one gave us. I know we aren't really that passionate all the time ... but this phrase ignites more passion in me at least!

Translating from one language to another is quite an uphill task. One needs to first understand what the author is trying to convey, process it in your mind and then re-convey it into a language desired.

Had two wonderful LIFE Group meetings last night and Tuesday. When the Spirit is getting through and the Scripture comes alive and touches our lives, WOW! He's on the move and we move with him!

Got a strange call about dispute amongst friends.

Sad to hear some are overwhelmed by "whatever" (fill in the blanks) and community life tends to give way. A great challenge on pacing ourselves and mastering self.

Unimpressed by people who want to impress. It's yucks!

The communication between individual A and individual B is quite a simple and yet complex process. If one insists to read the others statements based on their own agenda, then no communication actually happends. It's just an exchange of words not thoughts and feelings. Or worse it's a totally wrong communication process at work. And no body is getting anywhere. Both may use the same language, but the use of language in communication is more than grammar and vocabulary, it's about reasopn and imagination, it's about meaning.

I find hunger for GOD in the most surprising of circumstances, and in the most unexpected places. This hunger expressed is what motivates me to keep on serving!

Bored with what's playing on the Radio.

Became a listener and enjoyed it. The bonus was extra wisdom ...

Looking forward to a lecture at Council of Churches Malaysia Office on "Incarnational Model of the church" by a Professor Lo Lung Kwong of Hong Kong. Was thinking about doing something more related to Eccelsiology (the Doctrine of the Church) for my Mtheol. Hmmm?

Was delighted to see the lights go on for two people this week after the reading the Winn Griffin article on STORY. Exciting!

AYALI sounds Eastern .... but it's Asian Youth Ambassador Leadership Institute. Agreed to Ryan to teach for two days on "Developing Vision". Vision is what I see now as well as what I see in the future. It's knowing where I am now and where I'm heading. It's about location as well as direction. Cool sounding stuff ... thank God for some material I got months ago. Sorting time!

Caught the C.S. Lewis bug right now. Having a triplet feast of Mere Christianity, the Great Divorce and the Screwtape letters. Plus, lots of desert after downloading the C.S. Lewis Institute Newsletter.

Tokai guitar back home.

Can't stand "disconnected" and senseless (or non-sensical) story-telling and moviemaking! Arghhhhhhh ...

Missed too many Toastmasters meetings ... already lost touch. Not good.

Happy for a friend, he's a new daddy. Cheers!

Opened another can of Pringles ...

Read a youngsters blog ... quite a mind at work at such a young age.

This is getting too long ...

I feel better!

Ordination ... A Brow take!

My mentor in-many-many-ways Robert Brow has a simple definition for Ordination in his WORD THOUGHTS: A Dictionary of Religions and key words I thought it's important to deepen what it means for me to be ordained. I don't like to see it as a promotion (as some people have hinted honestly). Because I believe responding to God's calling is not about status, it's about servanthood and functioning strategically for His Kingdom Agenda!

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ORDINATION

When a LEADER is to be commissioned it is important for him or her to be given public recognition.

Moses was told "Take Joshua the son of Nun, a man in whom is the Spirit, and lay your hand upon him" and "he took Joshua and had him stand before Eleazar the priestand the whole congregation; he laid his hands upon him and commissioned him" (Numbers 27:18, 22-23).

When ELDERS (bishops) were chosen for the first Greek speaking Christian congregation in Jerusalem "they had these men stand before the apostles, who prayed and laid their hands on them" (Acts 6:6). Similarly when Barnabas and Paul were sent out on the first missionary journey "after fasting and praying the prophets and teachers laid their hands on them and sent them off" (Acts 13:3). And after planting churches in Galatia they "appointed elders for them in each church, with prayer and fasting they entrusted them to the Lord in whom they had come to believe" (Acts 14:23).

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SPIRITUAL WARFARE

i didn't know C.S. Lewis' THE SCREWTAPE LETTERS was dedicated to J.R.R. Tolkien. Cool!

Anyway, I think that THE SCREWTAPE LETTERS (T.S.L) ranks high on my list of my favorite books on Spiritual Warfare (I use the term to include the battle with sin & temptation as well as the demon stuff)! I picked it up again to read this morning as was just struck by the wisdom and the wit of the just the first few pages.

The two opening quotes knocked me straight into submission:

From Martin Luther :-
"The best way to drive out the devil, if he will not yield to texts of Scripture, is to jeer and flout him, for he cannot bear scorn."

From Thomas More (with old English, phew!):-
"The devil ... the prowde spirite ... cannot endure to be mocked."

And a triple blow more on us humans by Lewis in the Preface ...
"There are two equal and opposite errors into which our race can fall about the devils. One is to disbelieve in their existence. The other is to believe, and to feel an excessive and unhealthy interest in them."

I don't think I've really disbelieved in their existence. I've probably ignored them more. But, I do remember a short-lived segment (thankfully it was a SHORT couple of years) of my Christian journey when I had excessive and unhealthy interest in them. SPIRITUAL WARFARE is a REALITY for a Christian like it or not. And I believe the whole deal is much more complex than the Exorcist-kind of Deliverance ministry (which I don't have much experience to comment on - so enough said). Reading T.S.L. made me aware of the little battles in the minds of individuals, which also has great repercussions in the social mind ( a collection of individuals) as well. And this war though already won by Christus Victor has still battles to be settled existentially here and now as we perceive it. So, while being aware of this is crucial, keeping full attention on the Christus Victor is even more Critical. That's how I kind of center myself when things gets disorientated. My prayers and intercessions are stuck on this truth! The Battle belongs to the Lord ...

ORDINATION ... prelude

The date is set on the 31st August 2003 Sunday. The place will be Luther House Chapel. The event is the closing worship service of the LCMS convention (and one day after the 50th Anniversary LCMS Worship Celebration & Banquet). And this will be the day of my ORDINATION.

I attended my first full ministerium meeting today from 10am to 6pm! Had a chance to observe some of the proceedings. Interesting and Amusing in its own special way! After Lunch, then it's our turn to one by one be interviewed and respond to questions by anyone (i.e. any Reverands!). There was at least 15 of them.

For me, most questions related to my paper on "Lutheran Pietism" and that was good. Two questions are particularly memorable and cute ... one related to "Yoga" then the other related to "Chinese culture". And of course, the two most personal questions related to my call as a pastor - First how I responded to the call to be one. Second, why do I want to be ordained?

Hmm ....For Ordination I replied "I guess, it's a bit like Baptism I said where in and through Baptism I'm initiated into the Kingdom of God. So, Ordination for me is like an initiation deeper into the ministry and calling I believe God has upon me".

So, in a sense it's not so much whether I want to be ordained as it's on my initiative. I believe like Baptism it's a response to God's grace and initiative upon my life. More and more these days I see my actions, my words, and my life as a RESPONSE (a second move) rather than my own proactiveness (i.e. I make the first move). God always makes the first move ... When I look at Gareth now and think of his baptism, God made a first move on him. That gives me a picture of my own baptism as a child. Interesting! Amusing! ... AMAZING!

C.S. LEWIS

I'm waiting here at Taman Midah Lutheran Church office and they are kind enough to let me use their internet access. One by one the ordination candidates will be interviewed by the other ordained pastors. so, for now .. relaxlah!

Thought about C.S. Lewis. So, checked him on Google (my favorite search engine) and found some good websites on him.

I loved the Chronicles of Narnia and really enjoyed the Screwtape letters (which I plan to read again). Had a bit of fun reading the Great Divorce before I slept last night and only now appreciating the thoughts from Mere Christianity. I think these are some good books to start off with if anyone is interested.

I love this quote from C.S. Lewis I read today.

"I believe in Christianity as I believe the sun has risen, not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else." (emphasis mine)

WOW! I love that ... Smiles all over! Here's one guy that's able to put such profound stuff in popular writing. One example I hope to emulate.

Here's some sites to check!

C.S. Lewis Foundation
Into the Wardrobe
C.S. Lewis Institute
C.S. Lewis Classics
Welcome to Narnia

The Electric Guitar & 2 Cents on Music Arrangement

I forgot to mention in the last post that by guitar i tend to think "Acoustic Guitar" (steel strings?!). I've never been a great fan of the Electric Guitar as compared to the Acoustic Guitar but I've grown to be an admirer, that's for sure.

Last night, we had our second (and my first) 50th LCMS Anniversary Worship Rehearsal. Though I'm not part of the band, I was appointed co-music director with Sock Ming (from Damansara Utama Lutheran Church), I used the Luther House electric guitar to teach them "Doa untuk Malaysia" and filled in when the acoustic guitar player James (from Salak South Lutheran Church) had to go early. It was fun ... to fill in notes here and there, do some of my pseudo-the-Edge-U2-influenced stuff ... i.e. droning notes! I've always flowed along well with Philip (from Setapak Lutheran Church), his steady funk-rock laced ghost-notes and rhythm just gets me bubbling. I miss his drumming a lot.

Overall, we worked through the songs generally. I guess it's just how can we play more as a band than as individuals. I think this is a constant struggle for church musicians because we are usually playing alone or without much "arrangement-thinking" thus focusing on what we are doing ourselves but not how the whole band plays as a unit. So more work there.

I liked Ed Kerr's free rhythm charts for 3/4 and 4/4 beats on the net. It helped me quickly write out the chords for "Doa untuk Malaysia" and begin to practice basic "arrangement-thinking". I guess that helped me in my short electric guitar stint last night .... any I was using the only few bag of old tricks I knew ... but when you use it with passion and some creativity it's still rewarding!

A quick thought popped in my mind when I was driving past UM. The Music Arrangement is suppose to serve the song and the lyrics and not draw too much attention on the flowery embellishments it supplies. So, often I think the music I hear from Malaysian Worship Albums tend to this danger, I think Malaysian Live worship bands also has this tendency (I'm not impressed!). Ok! Much of modern worship music globally is in danger (let's be fair). The arrangements are meant to enhance the song and not just get people in awe of the awesome chord structures, syncopated rhythms and ingenius ideas. I still believe in creativity - but its creativity with character especially in a worship context - please not creativity with chaos or creativity to impress. Just two cents worth of whatever ...

My Guitar & Worship

Worship was the impetus for me to pick up the guitar and learnt how to strum those chords playing my first song a few months later! I was 15 years old. I wanted to learn the piano when i was a kid but somehow that didn't work (read: couldn't afford it!). so, when i found this old thrown-away Tokai guitar at Grandma's storeroom, I knew there's a GOD who answers my prayers. I remember Pitt Fan fixing those new strings on this worn-out almost fretless guitar! From then on, there was no turning back. Even as my musical taste (& appreciation) grew - whether it's U2, to Michael Hedges, Radiohead, bits & pieces of classical and jazz as well, not forgetting the the more Christian flavored stuff Jars of Clay, Delirous?, Six Pence none the Richer, etc. 15 years later ... I use the guitar primarily for worship and expressing my heart to GOD. It's still my favorite and most heartfelt way of using the instrument.
When I saw how Bob Fitts lead in worship with his guitar, the passion to do it just "caught" me. And the rest is history! I never forget the ARISE & SHINE worship conference we had in Malaysia years ago, and how I managed to spend a little time with him just to talk. It was what flowed from his heart that really touched me!

Paul Baloche describes his writing as "journaling the process of my walk with the Lord". And I think he's another guitar-playing worship leader & songwriter that has impacted me. I love his songs and how often he uses the guitar to bring out the joy and/or intimacy in worship. (So happy he put some chord charts in his website and apparently he's got a cool instructional video as well!) Some how his style and substance manages to lift me up when I'm becoming mediocre in my worship, must get a CD for BLC members to catch some of his passion!

Monday's often turn out to be a great time of surfing and downloading stuff ... though I missed the piano-keyboard boat. But, I think Ed Kerr has done me a wonderful service by making some of his tips and thoughts on arrangements available free on the next. Can't play like a pianist, but it doesn't mean I can't learn how to think like one! I married a piano player - May Chin and now Gareth is flexing his muscles with percussive moves! We were created to Worship You - Father-Son-Spirit

once you pop, you can't stop!

I bought a six in one box of My favorite snack - Pringles last Friday. I reward myself with these goodies after a hard days work ...
... good mood or bad mood,
... happy or sad
... in need of inspiration
... after I get my inspiration

How would life be without Pringles ... they've got a cool website too ... when is my next snack? Ahh ... such pleasure!

My Refuge Be

All throughout my days
I will seek Your peace
Let me hear Your voice
singing over me
When my weary heart
drives me to despair
In the shadows Lord,
Let me find You there

Into You I will hasten
Into You I will lean
Light of the world
My only shelter
King of love
My refuge be
King of love
My Refuge be

Friend of broken hearts
and all the lost
I will find my strength
in Your precious cross
And with every breath
that You give to me
May I glorify
your majesty

This is a beautiful song that's warmed my heart this monday morning. Peaceful melody and strong lyrics. I "accidently"?! got linked to a worship website by David M. Edwards and heard it there. Hope to share it some day. I agree with Luther next to Theology, music tops the list of influence for me!

New Hypocrites - HYPOCRISY Reloaded

Picked up a cheap buy I got from Glad Sounds Book Store entitled "What's Right with the Church" by Methodist William H. Willimon. It was supposed to be bed time reading. Now, I'm planning to read it seriously because it's too stimulating ... this passage which touched on Hypocrisy helped me put things in better perspective than my last little posting. BTW, I like to show the pictures of the authors I'm reading :-) Somehow, it becomes more than reading a book but engaging in a conversation with a fellow human being!

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... the fact remains: Salvation is not simply a one-time activity; a momentary event in an individual's life. The biblical picture of salvation is that of both an act of God and a state of being in a right relationship with God and one's neighbor. There is an arrogance and pharisaical self-righteousness among the churches and amongst the unchurched as well. We admit to the arrogance of some smug insiders who despise and ridicule outsiders. But there is also the arrogance of those outsiders who feel morally and spiritually superior to those poor sinners in the church. As David H. C. Read has suggested, today's new hypocrites may not be like the smug church going Pharisee in Jesus story who stood apart from the penitent publican and prayer aloud, "God I thank thee that I am not like this sinful publican." Today's hypocrites are more likely to be those smug publicans outside the church who pray, "God I may not be the best person in the world, but at least I am better than all those religious hypocrites in the church. (Chapter 1 on "Where is the Church?", p. 23)
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After coming to Personal Faith in Jesus Christ at 13years old, I have seen in myself and outside of myself a fair share of hypocrisy. And stepping into the "pastoral" ministry since seminary days until now has taken me for quite a tour in the landscape of human religion and faith. I have admitted to others especially my unchurched friends whether Christian or Not-Christians the self-righteousness in my own Christian Family.

But, Willimon is spot on! He's Right! I think there is equally the same self-righteousness outside the church. I see it in politics, I see it in the economic sphere, it's all over the place - that sense that one is more superior is often in the aura of people on the streets, in front of TV, and behind the office desk. Few people would admit it!

So, by tonight ... after tossing these thoughts around prayerfully today, things are in better perspective. Whether it's self-righteousness inside the church or outside the church it's still SELF-RIGHTEOUSNESS, ARROGANCE, and HYPOCRISY. And it's still sinful, it's evil, it's gonna hurt people.

A Sense of Humor

"In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth .... in the middle he added some humor ... " I think that wouldn't be too bad huh? A sense of humor keeps me away from dwelling on "serious" issues at the expense of my health. It's not a kind of lame humor that's mindless, but a kind that allows us to just laugh at ourselves ... how fragile we are!

I found The Christian Cartoon Showcase and Resource Center When I first got my internet own access and computer. You can see how desperate I am to have some laughs ... If it's good medicine why not?

I'll just put up a sample. Pastors get funny answers when they ask church members questions.

Doubt ...

Eugene Peterson has been a wonderful spiritual guide in my pastoral and spiritual development. I read this reply to an interview in 1984.

________________________________
TSF (Interviewer): What part does doubt play in your own spiritual development?

Peterson: Doubt pushes me deeper. Doubt pushes me past the intellectualizing, past the superficial, and makes me deal with issues on a life basis where I can't understand and control everything. I have to plunge in anyway. Doubt has never functioned in my life as a way to get out of things. It has always pulled me in further. I know it makes spectators out of some people, but somehow it has never worked that way for me. It's caused me to be involved in dimensions of faith that I wasn't aware of before.
_____________________________

Somehow as far as i can remember I enjoy asking questions (at least quietly in my mind) and working out some possible answers (also often in my mind). It's kind of a healthy curiosity I guess. But, doubt is more challenging. And especially when bad things happen to friends both young and old ... it puts pressure on my faith - 23 year old friend collapsed with Cardiac arrest was in comma for about 18 months before she died (many years ago), 60 year old Dad of a friend now i heard can't even come down from the stairs because of cancer, people getting entangled with financial burdens, marriages under tremendous strain (or neglect), fellow pastors being attacked (in some way), the list can go on. There seems to be so many reasons one can pick up to walk away from God or give up on life and be a professional cynic.

Peterson's reply ... resonates with me ... I'm just thankful my faith is held in God's hand in times like this. Protected, deepened, more aware ... and actually more alive! Doubt could have crushed the simple faith that I had ... surprisingly, God turned it into a means of "maturing" me - a path where He walks with me. How awesome is Your ways .. O God.

It is finished ... well not really!

Finally after I dunno-how-long of procrastination, my ordination paper is finished.. The not really part is my learning is never finished!

I've just send it via email to my Supervisor ... upcoming PhD Candidate in Trinity Theological College S'pore Rev. Thomas Low. Aparently, he's planning to do something on the Puritans. It's fun to have him look through the paper ... he taught me Lutheranism for my seminary denominational distictive course. He helped me appreciate my Lutheran heritage.

Bishop Chang asked for the paper as well so I should pass it to him tomorrow. Wonder what he will say.

The Ministerium (Gathering of the Lutheran Reverands and pastors) will be next Tuesday. And I will be interviewed on some questions ... wow! it's like oral exam during Form 5 or being interviewed to get a job - whateverlah.

Then ... if all goes well ... the Ordination. A new beginning?! sounds like it.

OUCH!

“I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.”---Mahatma Gandhi

Found two new questions from I Like Jesus, but I Don't Like Christians (ch. 7 from The Emerging Church) by Dan Kimball to ask my friends:

- What comes to your mind when you hear the name “Jesus”?

- What comes to your mind when you hear the word “Christian”?

Let's see what happens when i ask someone these questions this week. Assignment accepted!

Children ... Integration not Segregation

Last Sunday, I made a conscious effort to include the "children" (i.e. young church) during the worship gathering. For the babies, it's easier in a sense because we carry them and include them in that natural way. It's more challenging when they start walking (or running) and may want to do their own thing. The article on "What about Kids In Organic Church?" by Neil Cole (for more read the extended entry below!) kind of affirmed some existing values in me ... now putting it into practice is the "incarnational"-down-to-earth part!

I think right now my mind is geared to two ways that might work - one is full participation at all possible levels (even the message which is usually the trickier one.) The other is a slight tweak and I'll call it a parallel participation (especially during segments that may be harder for kids to focus.) These seed ideas are not new ... but are in the process of growing in due time.

So, for last Sunday as I spoke on "Open our Eyes, Open our Ears" based on the whole chapter of 2 Timothy 3. I found this colouring page on "Paul writing letters to the churches" with Paul seated in prison scribbling stuff. I gave the three kids a piece and during the message they colour it. And after the offering I managed to interview them ...

"What's this Eze?" (I pointed to an object in the picture)

"Toilet paper!" he said. Now, that was a good insight ... even though I think the object was an ink holder. Ahh ... children. Hey! who said Paul didn't need toilet paper in prison!

I'm looking forward to the soft launch of BLC's Children ministry this week ... I did a simple launch with my efforts last Sunday for Worship Gathering. I believe the post-worship gathering - children's sessions using "Discipleland" material can be the "Children's" version of a LiFE Group and Discipleship School. I believe with the Spirit's guidance and the Scripture as our Life-shaping Resource ... and of cource human experiences as a bonus we can move into a "Both-And" mentality!

What About Kids In Organic Church?
Part One: Integration Is Better Than Segregation
Neil Cole

A friend of mine recounts the story of his son coming home from Sunday School. He asked the boy the most common questions asked at 12:15 every Sunday: “So how was your class? What did you learn?” The boy suddenly was overcome with a look of frustration and remarked: “With a book that big there’s got to be more stories in there than the one’s they’re telling us! They’re keeping something from us!”

That sent my friend into a pilgrimage that led to involvement in organic church planting.

One of the most frequently asked questions we receive about organic churches is, “What do you do with children?” It seems that without segregating the kids from the adults we don’t know what to do. Apparently, grown-ups can’t learn anything if their kids are present and vice versa.

Many years ago, prior to any child labor laws, in an attempt to empower, evangelize and educate children being used in coalmines John Wesley began what is now known as Sunday School. Prior to this, there was no separation of congregants based upon age.

Today, we can’t seem to cope without it. We now feel that the only way children can truly be taught is when they are separated from all others but kids their own age. Why is that? Does life itself also follow such a compartmentalized fashion? Of course not. In fact, the truth is that children learn more at home with their whole family than in school with their peers. Perhaps we can begin to see better learning, of both child and adult, if we do not separate according to age.

In order to have a spontaneous church multiplication movement, we must not confine expansion with controls. For this reason, I don’t recommend that there is only one way to take care of kids in a simple church. In fact, we usually give two or three options and let churches decide for themselves. My experience shows, however, that there are better ways than others. Integration in church life has proven more powerful than segregation based on age.

I have three kids that are growing up fast. They have been a part of church from the very beginning and have been in a large mega church, a small traditional church and a simple organic church. They can tell you the best part of each experience and the worst as well.

In the traditional Sunday School approach they learned many things for which I am grateful. But it was always cognitive learning rather than experiential. They knew facts about Jesus, David the giant slayer and the Lions in Daniel’s den, but they did not learn how to love their sister or how to share the Good News with a friend at school. They learned about character qualities, but never actually had the opportunity to experience them and see them lived out in others.

A few years ago, my family received a call to a new kind of ministry. At the time we lived in a suburb determined by the FBI to be one of the 15 safest cities over 100,000 in population in the United States. We had our own house with a nice yard on a quiet street.

Our new call was to urban Long Beach, a place where gangs not only started but also franchised around the country. We moved into a rented smaller back house with an alley instead of a yard. Many would think this was not the best move for our children. I have to admit, there were a few moments where I wondered myself. But deep inside I knew this was the right decision.

Looking back, I wouldn’t have traded the experience we had in that back house for any other.

When we moved to the city and began organic churches our kids began to learn in a more experiential fashion. They saw lives transformed. They listened to people share their horrid stories of abusive life-styles and then watched them live for Jesus. My son has even had a few roommates along the way who needed some stable and loving home life for support. He has learned something about love, kindness and hospitality that he never could learn on a flannel graph.

One of the sayings that we often repeat in our movement is that “when a child receives Jesus he doesn’t receive a Jr.-sized Holy Spirit and a Jesus action figure to play with. He receives the full-power of the Spirit of God and is no less spiritual than any adult.

With that in mind, we expect great things from our children and we are usually not disappointed. It is very common for the kids in our church to have the best questions and to share the most profound thoughts. One time when we were on a tangent about the rapture my middle daughter, who was about 12 at the time, had a puzzled look on her face. She asked, “When the rapture comes do people all go up?” I said, “That’s what is usually taught.” You could see the wheels turning in her head. Then she said, “Well, if the earth is round and we all go up, doesn’t that mean that we’re all going to different places?” I’ve never been asked that question before and it took the mind of a child to think it up.

The children in our church are often the ones most desired to pray for the prayer requests because they pray with a child-like faith and their prayers are often answered.

It is common for us to have small toddlers in our church. Rather than send them to another room with a baby-sitter we let them be a part of the church. They worship with us, pray with us and usually waddle from one lap to another. To be honest, I can’t remember a single disruptive moment. Because the kids are trained with this sort of church they just know how to be a part of it. I will never forget a time when a small boy had surgery to correct a lazy eye he had. He came to church and couldn’t wait to say something during the praise and prayer request time. He sat on the edge of his seat and his feet barely touched the floor and he opened his eyes wide and said with great wonder, “Jesus fixed my eyes,” as he slowly turned his head around the room to show everyone. Wow, what awesome worship. Jesus must love this. Why on earth would we want to send that away to watch the latest Veggie Tales video in the bedroom?

Early in the beginning of our movement, my associate Paul Kaak was concerned with how organic church would work out for his young child Elijah. Their family went on vacation for a couple months in a rural part of California and decided to start a church during the vacation. Elijah was an important part of the new church. He recalls a time when they were all praying very intently and he noticed how quiet it was. With small children, quietness, though long desired, is not always a good sign, so Paul opened his eyes to see if Elijah was getting into some trouble. To his amazement he saw his boy sitting right in front of him fascinated as he watched his mom and dad interceding for others. So many kids in America only see their parents pray at the dinner table. Paul was convinced right then that integrating kids into church was powerful.

We have forgotten that much of the Christian life is caught by example rather than taught by fill-in the blank coloring books.

It is a real blessing for kids to see their parents worshipping God and I am always moved to great joy and tears listening to my own children as they sing praise to their Savior and pray for other people. I could never go back to the days when we sent them away to another room to be entertained while we took God serious without them.

Later in that same summer of rural church planting, a bee stung a small girl on her head. While the adults were all trying to help with getting out the stinger and finding some ice, Elijah stepped right up, put his hand on her head, and prayed for her to be healed. The little girl felt better almost immediately, and the adults were again led by a child. I wonder what our churches would be like if we allowed childlike faith back into the heart of our common church life. The disciples wanted to segregate the children and not bother Jesus with such unimportant things, and He rebuked them (and us) by telling them not to take the children away, for all of us need to learn from their kind of faith (Matt. 19:13-15).

My children will all tell you that this is the kind of church they love being a part of.

A few years ago while I was doing ministry in Japan I had a dream that my oldest daughter Heather (who was almost 15 years old at the time) started a church with her friends in Huntington Beach, CA where she went to school. After I returned I told her about the dream as I was saying goodnight to her to let her know she was on my mind while I was traveling.

The next day, after school she came home and said to me, “Dad, my friends want to do it.” I asked, “Do what?” She replied, “Start a church.” She told me that they were tired of the old boring type of church where they try and entertain them for a couple hours and they wanted to be a part of starting a new church. Because she had seen organic churches start a few times I told her, “Well, you know what to do, go do it and I will be available to help if you need it.” The next day she came home from school and they had planned church to start that next Thursday in her friend’s living room (in Huntington Beach), they had invited many from High School and had arranged for a friend who was a musician to lead worship. That Thursday their new church was born.

My children have learned things by being a vital part of the beginning of new churches that they could never learn in a traditional Sunday School. They have watched people come off the streets addicted to speed that turn and follow Christ. They have seen them transformed into powerful agents of the kingdom of God. They fully believe that God is powerful and able to change lives, not just from the stories in the book of Acts but from the stories they have seen in people’s lives. They now have a very real faith and compassion for lost people. I know many churched kids who are actually afraid of lost sinners, but my kids have learned to love them. I have taken them with me into the barrio of East LA to share Christ with kids who are growing up in crack houses and among notorious gangs.

One evening Dana and I were going out on a date and we left the kids at home. After dinner we called them to make sure Zachary, my youngest was getting ready for bed since it was already getting dark. My oldest answered the phone and said that Erin and Zachary were still out back in the alley. I told her to get the kids and bring them in immediately. Zach got on the phone and was excited to tell me that the mean old lady across the alley had backed out of her garage and had said cruel things to Zach and Erin as she left. I asked what they were doing in the alley this late. Zach said he was waiting for her to return because he and Erin had made things for her. Zach had made her a picture to try and help her to become a little happier and Erin had written a sermon to tell her about Jesus.

When I told Zach that he needed to come in and get ready for bed he burst into tears and said, “But dad, she is old and doesn’t believe in Jesus. She probably doesn’t have long to live and I want to tell her about Jesus. We’ve been praying for her and want to give her these things.” I know few adults who have wept for the souls of lost people, let alone those who have treated them unkindly.

These kids obviously were filled with the Spirit because they had deep compassion for this lost soul that had consistently been mean to them. I was tearing up with my son. I let him bring the picture over to her the next day. It didn’t change her demeanor at all but over the course of a few years she did seem to lighten up a bit.

A few years later my son was listening to a P.O.D CD and heard the song “Youth of the Nation” about the sad end of many young people who live with out Christ and die without hope. He was so moved by the song that he came into our bedroom late because he couldn’t sleep. I asked him what was wrong and he said he’d decided that he wanted to go back to public school so he can help people like those in the song.

These attitudes toward the lost have been embedded in my children because they have made sacrifices to bring the gospel to lost people and they have seen lives change so dramatically. They know the power of the gospel and they believe in it. These lessons have been learned experientially and will stick with them for the rest of their lives. Instead of just hearing the stories of other people’s faith thousands of years ago, they are living stories of faith today.

In fact, it is my hope that these children will grow up and see church differently than previous generations. Instead of viewing church as an entertainment center, to be evaluated by how well it suits our own individual needs, they will see church as a missional community that they bring something special to. They will not evaluate church as consumers looking for a good product, but as a family that is on an important adventure together, each with special abilities needed for the success of our common mission.

This is a poem that my middle daughter wrote to express her own feelings about church. We are a part of a church called Awakening and this poem was written when she was 13 years old. It is important to know that she was the only 13 year old in our church at the time. But she felt very strongly that this was her church and even today she loves it.

My Awakening
By Erin Cole

Every Friday night about six thirty or seven,
I meet and have church with believers of heaven.
We worship and gather together and share,
Of all sorts of things that just need some prayer.

There could be a few of us, maybe five or ten,
Or maybe, on occasion we’ll be thirty again.
All of the people used to be lost,
But now they love God at any cost.

Before we begin we sing praises to God,
I play the drums and everyone’s in awe,
At what Jesus did for us on the cross.
To not accept that would be a great loss.

This changed my view of what church should be,
I learned that God loves everyone, not just me.
Church doesn’t have to be repetitive or traditional,
But sharing God’s love that is unconditional.

SLEEP

I "accidently" clicked on to the Vineyard Central Community House/Residential Training section. My eyes locked on to this section on "Rest" (related to their training - there are other good ideas before and after this).

"Most Americans function with too little sleep. We’re in the middle of a sleep-deficit epidemic and get about 90 minutes less sleep than our Americans just 50 years ago. It’s estimated that the total economic loss resulting from this sleep-deficit reaches into the billions of dollars. Studies show that creativity and problem solving skills both dive dramatically as we’re deprived of sleep, and that errors in judgment go up. Sleepiness and fatigue are a greater factor in auto accidents and fatalities than is drunk driving. With too little sleep our immune systems are compromised and we become sick more often. A rat can go 17 days without food before dying. Without sleep it lives only 16 days, which suggests that sleep is as important as food. The body also craves routine and functions best when we retire and rise at approximately the same time every day.It’s in our best interests as a community to wind down and retire at about the same time through the week. Sharing the same rhythms and being alert (and in a good mood!) during the day are important to a household’s overall health. Furthermore, it encourages a respectfulness toward our bodies, temples of the Holy Spirit. We encourage a bedtime of no later than 11 pm., with a winding down period starting around 9 p.m. Winding down includes shutting off the internet, TV, movies, etc. and preparing for a night’s rest by reading and prayer." (emphasis is mine - on what caught my attention)

Sounds like lots of applications relevant to my context! Oh ... look at the time!!

Re-entry to "Semenanjung" Life

I don't know where to start. After, one week of "seminaring" and just immediately after the DUMC Campus Zone camp (which was three days and two nights.) I think, all in all my total travel time should be at least 10 hours to and fro Cameron ... and then for the 5 days and 5 nights to and fro Kota Kinabalu, Sabah another 6 hours (plus and minus a bit of airport time) ... up and down. Phew! Physically, it's tiring especially for someone who's usually in KL & PJ (occassionally Seremban) then I haven't counted the JB Wesley Family Camp either ... that would be another 10 hours to and fro. I enjoyed all these "outstation" moments .. lots of new memories being formed, new friendships and new experiences. The travel does take a toil on my body and of course all in all my emotions also goes through some sapping ... (not in a bad way .. just a human reaction to so much change and interaction in new environments that's all)

Thought of Bro. Thu today ... and two words pop up - EXCELLENCE & EMOTION. Ever since I knew him he was always a man of excellence in everything he did (sometimes people may feel it borders perfectionism - that's a matter of opinion). But the desire for excellence in him just inspires me. On top of that he pours his emotions (or passion) fully into this pursuit as well. Anyway, whether it's music (he's a self-taught pianist who'd play until sweat was all over the piano keys!), or rushing the VCD of a key session at the seminar (he actually almost didn't sleep to finish editing, and then doing a master copy and print some copies for us!) It would be nice to see more of this in BLC and Malaysian Churches today.

Then kind of had some closure on some stuff that was bugging me as I came back from the seminar. It's a the word caricaturethat rose in a conversation in the plane coming back. Specifically, when it was used to describe how we view some Christian groups. I felt that - if their is a value of Caricatures (imagine sharpened features in cartoonlike portraits often used by the Sun paper - M'sia) - it's that it helps us quick top recognize their distinctive features. And we can even laugh a bit at ourselves and with others. We could also even point out what needs attention. But, it's important to take note that it does not really represent the total REALITY (even a photograph which is closer still isn't the final REAL thing!) The photo is still nearer to the REALiTY because it sees us more in the ordinary, taking into account the background, the context, the timing, the variables and even dynamic changes.

I like these two insights for today ... :-) A good landing I think!

Day 5 - Sivin Kit Go Home ...

Well, I got my fish products packed and well frozen. Bags are ready, ticket in place, passport ok! I'm ready to go home. what a wonderful feeling! Gonna see May Chin and Gareth ... wow!

The last session on "Contextual Issues" was enlightening. Now, I know why a particular individual reacts so strongly to claims in healing and other Charismatic phenomena. There's a story behind it - story of pain, desperation, betrayal, and disappointment. I became for symphathetic towards him compared to yesterday ... the story he shared with tears drew me into his reality. Every statement of conviction we have spoken or unspoken has a story or multiple stories behind it. And I've learnt that we need to go beyond the statements people make into their stories in which these "conclusions" or convictions originally emerged.

Dr. Thu's comment on Witness in our Pluralistic Society" in Malaysia (and in his case Sabah specifically) struck me as wisdom refined from years of missionary experience with the Orang Asli's (Natives), then as a Pastor then Bishop and now Principal of STS. I agree with him, so often we center on our efforts, and our energies and what we do. But, listening to him I'm drawn once again to really trust God . And allow the Spirit to guide me and patiently discern his movements in especially those who are genuinely convicted in their religious faith. That is the posture that I hope to operate from. The picture again and again is to build bridges ... of understanding, conversations, friendship, common causes, (add to the list)... and even love (in my case the love revealed in Christ!)

Thank God I managed to pull through the message today ... it's quite a feeling speaking before dunno-how-many Doctors of Theology, Masters holders, experienced pastors, and theological students .... what an audience. But, we are humans aren't we? we are all children of God! So, I just spoke as a fellow child of God fumbling with words to share what I believe to be God's Word for us today. The whole experience of getting ready to speak was quite a roller coaster ride (in short scaredlah!). Survived! All thanks be to you ...

well, next to me is my constant companion when I'm using the STS internet facilities ... a Roman Catholic computer technician, nice, jovial Kadazan guy ... and his name is VALENTINE ... I thank God for him too ...

Day 4 - Solitude & Stirrings

The past few days was pretty much surrounded by people, meeting people and talking with people. So I took the liberty to meditate along at 10am, here's what I jotted down in my short time of SOLITUDE(which I really enjoyed!)

"Finally, I can have sometime alone. I chose to be alone rather than be with the group because I'm a little tired of words . Just want to enjoy some silence.

It's hot at 10am (more like 11am in Kl). I'm facing the cloud-hidden Mount Kinabalu. The green trees are beautiful and I can hear the birds talking to each other. Some noises as well - like the Air-con (man made stuff!) .. someone just flushed the toilet ... so hmmm ... that's bearable .. footsteps?!

And now my 3 R's - Read, Reflect Respond ... "

Then I read Romans 8:31-39. And felt the "Who" word getting my attention ... then a "What" thought came in ... and later the focus came to "In Christ Jesus our Lord" ... and "the love of God." I then wrote,

"We lack no pain, distress, and suffering today (v. 35) we lack no "stuff" that seems to degeat us ... even now, I think of a painful break-up, a struggling youth with addiction to smoking (wishing to quit), various conversations pointing to the reality of pain, Canny Ong, SARS, and the whole world ...

So often, i feel overwhelmed simply because of the nature of my work ... in seeking to identify with people, it can be overwhelming at times ... BUT, here it says we overwhelmingly conquer (v.37) through Him who loved us .. now that keeps me going ..."

And I guess, in that way, I can respond to the Lord by allowing myself to just "Pour out my heart to HIM" and allow others to do so as well ...

The STIRRINGScame about by some of the questions being thrown up for discussion at the sessions. I appreciate Dr. Vic's answers and I feel he is a wonderful model of handling delicate matters even though he may lack the practical experiences in these areas. But, I'm stirred within because I feel Christians and Christian leaders in particular so easily "write off" others who are unlike them, or don't take seriously what others are doing to explore new ways of "applying" (the more impressive word is contextualize) their faith in their ongoing journey.

Before we even see tha value in the other person's (or groups) quest, we tend to use our strengths (in this case stronger ability in theological reflection) to judge them or display our prejudice. I'm stirred because behind this so called "questioning" seems to lie an attitude of "superiority" which is yucky in my opinion and definately not even a mark of a Christian. It's just reactive more than reflective ... but then again, I'm seeing a tinge of reaction in me as well ... so I'm on guard Lord, Help me out here! Getting myself into a prayerful mode turns my reaction to healthier reflection I hope ... and then I can respond in a Christ-like manner. That's my way of practicing romans 8:37 ... that "I" overwhelmingly conquer (whatever that's bugging me - i.e. some attitudes of Christians or my own) through HIm who loved.

I feel much better now!

Day 3 again - Seafood Bonus!

Ahhh .. May Chin would have loved it. Special milk-oil tiger prawns, fresh prawns and a big steam fish thrown in. The Vege was superb, and some new I-dunno-what-that-is sea creature I ate ... (which I saw squirst water out somehow before its death to feed us).

Thanks to Bishop & Mrs. Voo .. Ps. Lau and I indulged in a seafood extravaganza lunch and visited Basel Christian Church of Malaysia's (BCCM) headquarters. It's a denomination that goes back at least 120years. Phew! LCMS is merely 50years this year ... wow!

Many people I know who've come from Sabah have their Christian roots in churches linked with this denomination. And I'm thankful for their blessings to west Malaysia.

One thing I've learnt in my stay here until Day 3 afternoon is "Context" is truly King (or in a less bent manner - crucial). KK, BCCM churches, the politics here, and loads of other stuff is so different even though we're Malaysians. Not that I didn't know this intellectually .. it was just a good reminder. And yet, in our sessions with Dr. Vic Pfizner, and through his sharing I realized we also have much in common especially when it comes to the challenges we face when we seek to live out the Christian life. What a paradox, in our humanity we're the same and yet in living out our humanity in our unique context the various emphasis and applications require a little bit more (actually much much more) care and focus.

Anyway, I'm feeling a bit itchy, hopefully it's not my weak system reacting to sea food ... opps ...

Day 3 - Surprises at Kota Kinabalu

Wow! Mount Kinabalu is awesome! We just caught a quick 3 minute glimpse of part of it! Bro. Thu was so kind to drive Pastor Lau and I in a Kanchil to Kinabalu Park combining with a runnning "tourist" commentary on KK and areas we passed by. The Universiti Malaysia Sabah is a resort-like educational insitution that would be the envy of many for example, and then of course, we managed to reach the starting point of the Mount Kinabalu climb just to wet our appetite for a possible trip some other time!

God is a God of Surprises .. because we were slightly disappointment when we first arrived at the park. The clouds were covering Mount Kinabalu .. so near and yet so far! But when we were coming down from the staring point, heading to the gate .. just a short 3 minutes that's all, we were graced with a sneak peak at the Mount. Pictures! Pictures! Thankfulness and praise! Yup .. that's the response.

God of Surprises indeed .. Dr. Wilfred John just told me this morning that Dr. Thu En Yu (Principal) of STS suggested I share for 10minutes during the closing Holy Communion Service. Huh? was my first reaction ... this is too unexpected and who am I to share before these wise sages (Seminary lecturers) and experienced pastors. But, since this morning the session was on the THEOLOGY of THE CROSS ... I was wondering whether the Lord is giving me a practical without me asking for it. This kuchy-brat, 31 year old (in October), young (with some grey hair), pastor who carries a green Myanmar made bag to lectures and colours his notes like crazy to say a few words in this kind of context? Who am I?

But then, I remembered what I tried to convey to the DUMC Youth, in a nutshell, our witness is more about HIM than about us! This is where the rubber meets the road. OUCH! There's often so many chances available - surprisingly - made available for us to live out the message, the values, and the convictions we believe in (strongly or weakly).

And a nice surprise I suppose, on a less "dramatic" note. Bishop Voo called us this morning to arrange for lunch. Ps. Lau and I didn't expect it ... but why not? Ps. Lau said yes on our behalf already. Ahh ... the Hakka Style food is good. the Pork has fat liberally, oil is not a problem here (more is ok!), variety of course is always there ... Ahh .. the joys of eating! :-)

Nice surprises is always nice ... I just treasure it! No complaints ...

Day 2 - Live from Kota Kinabalu

Thank God for internet access at Sabah Theological Seminary. What an adventure! The camp at CheFoo Methodist centre with DUMC's Campus Youth was a load of fun and I believe fruitful ministry (PTL!) I was tremendously encouraged by some intense & genuine Commitment I saw in some Youth, had great "Conversations" with a number of individuals both leaders and youth, and was delighted with the God kind-of-CHANGE the Spirit was "slow-cooking" (in the words of Pastor Mike Ngui in a thank you card to me).

I managed to skid down from Brinchang Cameron highlands last Sunday to catch the MAS 9:15pm flight to arrive at KK International Airport at about 12am. The Fish & Potatoes was good inflight food while I didn't enjoy the squeeze during the whole flight. Read both Sin Chew and NST because I couldn't sleep.

Ahh ... finally arrived at Sabah Theological Seminary .. cool! They have their own hill ... wow! The accomadations was "surprising" & "Amazing"! One air-con room for myself .. actually a whole small apartment for Pastor Lau and me ... phew! GOD you are so kind to your servant who lacked sleep the last couple of days because of Cameron's cold temperature and lukewarm showers!

Day 1 - still lacked sleep but was delighted to see an old friend, Bro. Thu (whom later gave me a personal tour of KK - hospitality in action, huh?) Rev. Dr. Vic Pfitzner is a great teacher from Luther Seminary, Australia. I love his relaxed Aussie style ... and later found out he's related to Rev. Dr. John Kleinig also from Luther Seminary who taught me a course during my seminary days! The notes he gave were superb, and as usual I've colored, highlighted, mentally engaged in conversation with mini Sivin-Kit-style notes all over the place. Refreshing, nourishing, and plain fun.

The whole afternoon was spent in Bro. THU's Kanchil, catching up while enjoying KK. Had a nice RM3 Ice-Kacang ... and visited Jammie's church Penampang Basel Christian Church. Cool! Took a picture as evidence!

The evening was a special open lecture on "the New Apostolic Reformation Movement" in which Dr. Vic gave a simple intro with comments based on what he says a Biblical test. Overall as a good humble Christian scholar he gave a pretty fair treatment. I observed some inaccuracies as I perceived them (i.e. tying the movement too closely with the prosperity gospel movement which I personally don't vauch for) and later took courage during the Q & A to bring my clarification and comments and asked a question that "what are the redeeming features does he find in the movement?" (because I believe it was important to highlight their strengths to evaluate our weaknesses) Which he rightly emphasized is the whole relational view of authority and the passion for missions.

Anyway, I enjoyed the opportunity to speak up and engage this scholar. Just having fun!

Today's session was good in the morning, but I was a little drowsy and tired. Now. I'm better. I loved the whole exposition on GRACE and the honest realism of our sinfulness .... well, more another time ... Looking forward to go to the Mount Kinabalu foothill in the afternoon. Right now, something more immediate, tea break!!