wow the Chinese New year celebrations went by very fast. we didn’t have anything special last night. Oh … maybe we did .. the dinner was good and it’s great to see Gareth enjoy his pasta and Elysia munching her garlic bread. We had some fun getting some groceries too … May Chin was busy getting stuff while I has taking the kids on a ride all over the place on the trolley! I enjoyed that.
I’ve been thinking a lot about how I’m getting more and more in touch with and drawn to themes revolving around Gracious Christianity (I hope I can get the book) lately and what that looks like. Then there’s the ongoing wrestling on how a Generous Orthodoxy looks like in my life, ministry and context.
I also wonder how I could do an apostle Paul thing humbly presenting these insights and practices above in a “Follow me as I follow Christ” kind of way. My own “Christian journey” has been nourished thus far by these musins but I question at times whether other Christians are interested at all in these matters. Sure it’s a some yes others no scenario. But then I’d ask what then are they interested in or is it a don’t bother and get on with life as it is lah. Or just tweak what ever we’re used to.
Seeds of distrust is such a dangerous thing. Broken trust is so hard to repair. perhaps I shouldn’t say impossible but it’s difficult.
Do people decide how they relate to you or give respect … based on age, skin colour, perceived experience, gender, etc? or is it just plain prejudice or pride?
Glad I managed to put Elysia to sleep … got some time to blog 😛
It’s rare to have good friends these days … it’s rare to have a “safe place” where one can be themselves without such vulnerability being “used” for even so called personally perceived “noble” end. Good friends are indeed a treasure … and every single one counts.
Going in circles is tiring.
these thoughts are REALLY getting more and more random right now.
I read a funny conversation between a Dad and his son. I laughed out loud while carrying my daughter.
On second thoughts, the family outing last night though simple – just a dinner and some shopping was very special. Re-calling it more is energizing me.
This morning didn’t turn out the way I would have wanted it. so, another adjustment. But there’s so much that hasn’t turned out the way I would have wanted it. Some discourages and drains, but there will be always pleasant suprises.
I was thinking about what if I “remained” the same I was 5 years ago, or 10 years ago would I even be typing all the above seemingly incoherent ramblings. or would I probably sweep stuff under the carpet and throw myself in to busyness and activity.
I need to read more Bonhoeffer this season.
I have to start reading my Newbigin readin today.
Oh yes … I do feel drawn back to spend time in the Scriptures. A little bit of “silence” will help. Centering … hmm, how does one do that with Kids running about and perhaps needing attention? Ok … the monks didn’t have kids in the monastry but what was their distractions? Maybe Luther migh have a different model that might work better for me?
Come to think of it …. right now, while Elysia is sleeping, there’s a little silence, I’m blogging … it’s precious. And I think I’m praying too.
I think i hear what you’re trying to say in some of this. From one introspective yet outgoing person to another, I can relate to the struggle of wondering what it amounts to – all the introspection, all the time you spend thinking, reading and connecting the dots between important things (in your own mind). The great ideas and vision for how things could and should be – yet so little of it materializes quickly enough for our satisfaction. Could it be that God intends all of this energy to be expended for our own growth? Is it enough that we will be changed and that change will eventually effect at least a few people in close proximity to us. Doesn’t seem very exciting. But I’ve come to a place, finally, where I have given up my great expectations for all that God could use me to do and am humbly trying to serve the few who clamor for my attention on a daily basis. Perhaps somehow God will make something great come from it. Pehaps He is telling us to wait, that good things take time and He is in control. Keep searching, growing and sharing. You are a blessing to so many of us.
Thanks Amy, you’re always such a great encourager …:-) I recall one of my mentor telling me once how after pastoring the church for years he found that the one that grew the most was himself (not in a selfish way but just looking at reality) and that’s ok. But you are right, that the change that happens in us “will eventually effect at least a few people in close proximity to us” and often God suprises us whom we’ve made a difference and how it all happened. The funny thing is that the more we expect things to happen one way, God moves in ways that break out of our “boxes” … and patience is an important virtue to help one see his movements and take the small steps of obedience forward.