“It is a rare day when we are completely satisfied. Usually we are hoping, wishing, longing, thirsting, for something more, something different, something else we think will satisfy us or make our lives happier. We are often like an empty cup waiting to be filled with whatever it is we think is missing in our lives. There are many kinds of inner thirsting. Not to thirst for things of the ego such as recognition, prestige, power and success is very difficult. Once we shake ourselves loose from these longings, our spirit will be more free to thirst for the deeper things of God. We will be much more intent on asking for the living water for our thirsty soul instead of the things that feed our thirsty ego.”
– Joyce Rupp, The Cup of Our Life (via inward/outward)
The anniversary event brought back lots of memories, and significant moments. I confess there was also mixed feelings as well – there was sparks of celebration but there are also stories of pain. While anniversaries like this are mainly to celebrate all the good things that has happened from day one until today, those of us who don’t live in denial also recognize the unspoken struggles and even sadness which is part and parcel of the journey. This recognition is not a kill joy but rather it keeps one grounded on reality – the reality of seeking to be faithful to the call of Christ here on earth. This is also an admission that being on the mission of Jesus involves the shaping of one’s inner most identity – and that involves shaking loose “stuff” which hinders rather than helps us in this process.
I’m still in a contemplative mode. I have 2 days of intensive and I predict long denominational meetings – first the Ministerium meeting mainly for the ordination of pastors and the second one is the final executive council meeting (which I am completing my 2 year term end of July and not sure what’s next depending on the convention). I’m looking forward to some space after that to drink a little more from the wells of God’s spirit who seems to be quietly working out his agenda in me. For that I’m grateful too … after 7 years, I’m still thirsting for God 🙂 an old song I knew in my twenties is ringing in my ear now … “Is any one thirsty?”
“I’m thirsty” but I know where there is a river of living water.
I have been meditating on this notion of wanting to be comforted a lot. Maybe because I realise how much I seek comfort in eating and drinking and, yes, even spending money lately. I want to be delivered from this.