I am, you anxious one.
Donít you sense me, ready to break
into being at your touch?
My murmurings surround you like shadowy wings.
Canít you see me standing before you
cloaked in stillness?
Hasnít my longing ripened in you
from the beginning
as fruit ripens on a branch?
I am the dream you are dreaming.
When you want to awaken, I am that wanting.
I grow strong in the beauty you behold.
And with the silence of stars I enfold
your cities made by time.
– Rainer Maria Rilke,†
Book of Hours: Love Poems to God
†It’s the last day of the year 2007 or I prefer to see the day as a doorway to 2008. I noticed the Reviews for the whole year by the newspaper as well as various individuals.† It made me explore a little how the year went by.† In my view, I felt this was a pretty full year. Maybe I might do a post on every month if I have the energy.
I noticed the word† “Random” has been reoccurring a little more than it should.† The fact is the words key into this blog has surely been most “random” because I have not reentered my normal groove in terms of blogging yet.† Ideas pop all over the place when I’m driving.† But very often by the time I reach for the notebook, I’m zonked out.† Or after I try to put the kids to sleep, it lands up I’m asleep first.
While all this “randomness” is all over the place, I do sense God’s working in me and my surroundings is less than random and I kind of discern a kind of movement forward.† There are “stuff” I’m leaving behind or I’ve “trashed”.† There are others which are getting reorganized.† There’s a good outward uncluttering as well as† inward sorting out.† It’s not finished yet but it’s work in progress.† My eyes are a little more open too, to see the world as it really is, to admit who I really am, and to accept the often incongruence of how others portray themselves.† We’re all in this together.† Nothing to boast about.† Even though I confess, it’s a little “yucky” to observe how boasting is not limited to achievements but to so called failures too … after a while either kind of “boasting” as long as it’s for getting attention becomes a little to put it mildly, immature? unhelpful? sad?
What’s refreshing is when there’s genuine searching, humble admission of wrong, and a good general sense that we can do something about it.† Sure, it’s hard.† But staying the way we are is worse.
And in all this … God – Christ – the Spirit is somehow moving and grooving in our midst.† Doors are open a little for a way out. There are possibilities to “become” better than we really are and could be.† It takes risk … it’s scary … but it’s worth it. Few take those steps, but when they do … it’s a party!