Random Thoughts on a wet Thursday morning

Things are moving pretty fast. The clock is ticking. Books need to be relocated. Shelves must be moved.  Some packing needed.

Appointments will be lined up.  Next week I will be more intentional about it. There’s still stuff which will crop up and we’ll deal with it as it comes.

It’s funny how news traveled and returned back to me.  Perhaps Norway isn’t where most people would imagine I’d land up to pursue my further studies 🙂 Germany, England, and even Switzerland have made the list. ROFL.

But that’s fine, it just gives us a chance to laugh together and then chat about the future.

* * *

I know I have tried my best with the limitations I had.  I hope that at the end we’ll see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I recall how it was out of compassion and some level of sympathy I made a decision and invited others to that decision. After sometime, what’s even more important is the big question of "discernment". For discernment to really take place especially with a spiritual tone in place, self-awareness and honesty is a key starting point.  Saving face is not.  Unfortunately, so often we do thing based on how it affects the way we "appear" to others.  But the fact it, whatever we try there will always be different interpretations on our actions and attitudes.  So, it’s better to have a frank assessment of ourselves, and measured view of how we have done.

One thing I have learnt is when we are reactive, we will be at the mercy of others and the circumstances. We don’t have to be a futurist but it’s not a bad idea to have a sneak peek into what is possible.  Having at least 3-4 options on the table may at first be confusing, but in the long run frees us from being tied down to merely one or two routes.  God is perhaps more flexible than we are.  And yet, leaving things just to go with the flow, sadly might mean we’ll be swept with the tide.

* * *

Years ago, I had the chance to read a book entitled "Courage and Calling".  Courage is such a key ingredient when it comes to anything to do with calling. If the only other word we have is career, then we’re in trouble.  Because what drives the choices will be very much preoccupied with everything which is peripheral to what is central to our calling in whatever vocation we are in.

One of the freedoms I have experienced in the last 10 years is the fresh appropriation on what calling means for me.  It has changed the way I view what I do.  Sure, I will still need to have some conception of ‘work hours" as well as ‘personal" and "family time", But the whole idea of some kind of split existence gradually got erased.  I don’t switch off from being a pastor, or then suddenly turn into a father.  Morning I’m a Christian, and at night I’m just a human being.  No way! It’s tiring to slip in and out like that.

What has happened I think (in self-reflection) is that it’s simply me having different hats and postures at a given time and space in relations to different people.  But it’s still this broken and hopefully blessed Sivin Kit, nothing more and nothing less. Who I am and what I do is not separated by a wide gulf, on the contrary, it’s merely a slide different mode of existence and relations.

I’m not sure whether I’m making sense.  But it’s a freedom that I treasure.  There will be moments where outwardly I’m tied down by schedules and job descriptions, but inwardly I know I’m free and I’m operating out of that liberty.

It’s good.

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About Sivin Kit

man of one wife, father of four kids
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