I think I first got the idea of seeing my life like a storybook where it consists of chapters, characters, plots, twists and development after reading stuff by Lewis Smedes. And through the years as I compile my personal journals, finishing one and then starting another one helps to bring this “story writing” alive in a “concrete” way.
The year 2004 especially the last month passed by too quickly with so many events, experiences, thoughts and insights that I couldn’t keep up posting stuff (If I really sat down to do it! Oh yeah I still haven’t submitted my Top 5 in 2004) I kind of decided that probably I need to use the “flashback” technique and recapture some of those moments and the meaning I derived from them.
The transition from the 31st December 2004 to 1 January 2005 has been very low key for me. A cancelled dinner appointment but then allowed us to have a Kit family dinner with Gareth enjoying his Japanese flavoured rice while his parents enjoyed seeing him enjoy the food for a change (he hasn’t been eating with his usual appetite lately!).
Earlier in the morning it was good to see how baby no. 2 is doing. Before we went for the check up May Chin and I were brainstorming some interesting names inspired by colours when we were watching Blue’s Clues with Gareth (If you sit me down, I can tell you 101 thoughts popping up in my mind from personally learning, to preaching to children’s ministry, to all sorts of ideas.)
As I was driving back a while ago after shuttling a friend back, my mind had floating ideas on how I should post my first 2005 post. And then impressions on how I see my life as a “never-ending” story still very much in progress emerged. I suppose it has been a kind of organizing device for me all these years unconsciously and now more consciously.
Just looking back the year 2004 has introduced into my story lots of new characters, more than one unexpected twist either comedy or tragedy, multilayered plots here and there, as well as occassional or even regular “writers block” kind of moments.
So with all this in mind, I do wonder how the story will unfold in the new year. I can see some possibilities here and there. In fact, some areas seem to already be in place (e.g. my part time Master’s programme, pastoring/leading BLC, involvement in the denomination, etc). There are also seed thoughts on the details. New relationships to grow as well as older relationships to deepen. I’m more than happy that my Sage list has improved where I could draw wisdom and encouragement from. Of course, there are also uncertainties on what are the plots and twists ahead. Being parents to two children will be a big leap according to one wise man in a conversation lately. Learning to focus my energies on the few areas I “feel” called to and juggling various tasks and roles will always be a challenge.
Somehow, there are times I feel that there’s wind blowing the pages of my life so fast that I haven’t managed to put anything down yet, or some particular part of the story needs more development. And yet, I know – or more of I sense deep down – that there’s a way to allow the pages to settle down and begin to “really” write (i.e. live) authentically from my inner life with God, and genuinely out of a sense of mission and vocation to fulfill my part in God’s Story which is in progress towards the Finale of Hope I believe in.
I’m not sure how I’m fumbling so far in the opening paragraphs … but I think I read something on writing yesterday here, “There is no such thing as good writing, only good rewriting“. So maybe some of the writing happens in my imagination and then the rewriting can happen in real life. 🙂 Because it’s a fact I can’t rewrite the past as far as the events is concerned. But, I suppose it’s possible to rewrite how I interpret and draw insights from the past.
Of course, this storybook or life book of mine there’s links to other people’s lives, pictures, comments (i.e. very much like a blog) and there’s many variables and dynamics that I’m aware of. Adn i guess, that’s where the adventure of looking at my “story” and “life” in this way makes it attractive as well.
Well it’s a late night hammering these words down with this keyboard. At least it’s some opening paragraphs … I’m not the kind of person that waits for everything to be perfectly formed before I try 🙂 The sermons are always perfect before we preach them (or at least start working on them!). The plns always look good on paper before we implement them. People are always nice before we really get to know them and vice versa. The list goes on. But, we’ve got to start somewhere … so here I start, I can do no other.