Skip to content

Sivin Kit's Garden

Planting Seeds for a Better World

Menu
  • About
  • Church
  • Disclaimer
  • Education
  • Writing
Menu

Agreeing and Disagreeing in Love

Posted on 4 May, 2006 by admin

IMG_2411.JPG

*I read this over and over today, we are so inadequate in the way we relate to each other. Interesting cross cultural comment at the end. Lord, have mercy. His mercies endures forever. Darkness cannot swallow the light ~ Sivin*

Agreeing and Disagreeing in Love
Commitments for Mennonites in Times of Disagreement

“Making every effort to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace” (Eph. 4:3),
as both individual members and the body of Christ, we pledge that we shall:

In Thought

Accept conflict
1. Acknowledge together that conflict is a normal part of our life in the church. Romans 14:1-8, 10-12, 17-19 15:1-7

Affirm hope
2. Affirm that as God walks with us in conflict we can work through to growth. Ephesians 4:15-16

Commit to prayer
3. Admit our needs and commit ourselves to pray for a mutually satisfactory solution (no prayers for my success or for the other to change but to find a joint way). James 5:16

In Action

Go to the other.
4. Go directly to those with whom we disagree; avoid behind-the-back criticism.* Matthew 5:23-24; 18:15-20 .

In the spirit of humility…
5. Go in gentleness, patience and humility. Place the problem between us at neither doorstep and own our part in the conflict instead of pointing out the others’. Galatians 6:1-5

Be quick to listen
6. Listen carefully, summarize and check out what is heard before responding. Seek as much to understand as to be understood. James 1:19; Proverbs 18:13

Be slow to judge
7. Suspend judgments, avoid labeling, end name calling, discard threats, and act in a nondefensive, nonreactive way. Romans 2:1-4; Galatians 5:22-26

Be willing to negotiate
8. Work through the disagreements constructively. Acts 15; Philippians 2:1-11
* Identify issues, interests, and needs of both (rather than take positions).
* Generate a variety of options for meeting both parties’ needs (rather than defending one’s own way).
* Evaluate options by how they meet the needs and satisfy the interests of all sides (not one side’s values).
* Collaborate in working out a joint solution (so both sides gain, both grow and win).
* Cooperate with the emerging agreement (accept the possible, not demand your ideal).
* Reward each other for each step forward, toward agreement (celebrate mutuality)

In Life
Be steadfast in love
9. Be firm in our commitment to seek a mutual solution; be stubborn in holding to our common foundation in Christ; be steadfast in love. Colossians 3:12-15

Be open to mediation
10. Be open to accept skilled help. If we cannot reach agreement among ourselves, we will use those with gifts and training in mediation in the larger church. Philippians 4:1-3

Trust the community
11. We will trust the community and if we cannot reach agreement or experience reconciliation, we will turn the decision over to others in the congregation or from the broader church. Acts 15
* In one-to-one or small group disputes, this may mean allowing others to arbitrate.
* In congregational, conference district or denominational disputes, this may mean allowing others to arbitrate or implementing constitutional decision-making processes, insuring that they are done in the spirit of these guidelines, and abiding by whatever decision is made.

Be the Body of Christ
12. Believe in and rely on the solidarity of the Body of Christ and its commitment to peace and justice, rather than resort to the courts of law. I Corinthians 6:1-6

*Go directly if you are European-North American; in other cultures disagreements are often addressed through a trusted go-between.

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Recent Posts

  • Moved to Medium
  • The End | The Beginning
  • I Will be Back …
  • It’s Been a While …
  • GE13 Malaysia: Who to Vote for? (A Christian Contribution)

Recent Comments

  • Malaysia: Government Vows to Review Web Censorship Law After Protest · Global Voices on STOP 114A: INTERNET BLACKOUT DAY
  • List of Participants in Internet Blackout Day! « #Stop114A on STOP 114A: INTERNET BLACKOUT DAY
  • Join Us and Support Internet Blackout Day « #Stop114A on STOP 114A: INTERNET BLACKOUT DAY
  • JB on Imagining My PhD Journey
  • Alex Tang on Imagining My PhD Journey

Enter your email address:

Delivered by FeedBurner

CALENDAR

May 2006
M T W T F S S
1234567
891011121314
15161718192021
22232425262728
293031  
« Apr   Jun »
  • Academics
  • Bangsar Lutheran Church
  • Beyond
  • Bible
  • Blogging
  • Books
  • Christian Year – Lent
  • Church
  • Conversations
  • Emergent/Emerging Churches
  • Events
  • Family
  • Five Sentences
  • Friends in Conversation
  • Fun stuff
  • Gracious Christianity
  • Ideas
  • Images
  • Leadership
  • Learning
  • Lists
  • Lutheran
  • Lutheran Church in Malaysia & Singapore
  • Malaysia
  • Meditation
  • Micah Mandate
  • Mission
  • Movies
  • Music
  • New Stuff
  • Norway
  • Norwegian Notes
  • Personal
  • Philosophy
  • Podcast
  • Preaching
  • Prezi
  • Project 365
  • Random Links
  • Random Thoughts
  • Random Tweets
  • Random Utterances
  • Religion
  • Resources
  • RoH Malaysia
  • Second Thoughts
  • Seven Series
  • Simple Steps
  • Spirituality
  • Technology
  • Theology
  • Travel
  • Uncategorized
  • Video
  • World
  • Worship
  • Writing

Archives

  • November 2020
  • November 2014
  • April 2014
  • February 2014
  • April 2013
  • February 2013
  • January 2013
  • December 2012
  • November 2012
  • October 2012
  • August 2012
  • June 2012
  • April 2012
  • March 2012
  • February 2012
  • January 2012
  • December 2011
  • November 2011
  • October 2011
  • September 2011
  • August 2011
  • July 2011
  • June 2011
  • May 2011
  • April 2011
  • March 2011
  • February 2011
  • January 2011
  • December 2010
  • November 2010
  • October 2010
  • September 2010
  • August 2010
  • July 2010
  • June 2010
  • May 2010
  • April 2010
  • March 2010
  • February 2010
  • January 2010
  • December 2009
  • November 2009
  • October 2009
  • September 2009
  • August 2009
  • July 2009
  • June 2009
  • May 2009
  • April 2009
  • March 2009
  • February 2009
  • January 2009
  • December 2008
  • November 2008
  • October 2008
  • September 2008
  • August 2008
  • July 2008
  • June 2008
  • May 2008
  • April 2008
  • March 2008
  • February 2008
  • January 2008
  • December 2007
  • November 2007
  • October 2007
  • September 2007
  • August 2007
  • July 2007
  • June 2007
  • May 2007
  • April 2007
  • March 2007
  • February 2007
  • January 2007
  • December 2006
  • November 2006
  • October 2006
  • September 2006
  • August 2006
  • July 2006
  • June 2006
  • May 2006
  • April 2006
  • March 2006
  • February 2006
  • January 2006
  • December 2005
  • November 2005
  • October 2005
  • September 2005
  • August 2005
  • July 2005
  • June 2005
  • May 2005
  • April 2005
  • March 2005
  • February 2005
  • January 2005
  • December 2004
  • November 2004
  • October 2004
  • September 2004
  • August 2004
  • July 2004
  • June 2004
  • May 2004
  • April 2004
  • March 2004
  • February 2004
  • January 2004
  • December 2003
  • November 2003
  • October 2003
  • September 2003
  • August 2003
  • July 2003
  • June 2003
  • May 2003
  • April 2003
  • February 2003
  • August 2002

Meta

  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.org

Pages

  • About
  • Church
  • Disclaimer
  • Education
  • Writing

Social Media

© 2022 Sivin Kit's Garden | Powered by Minimalist Blog WordPress Theme