Sivin Kit's Garden

This is a precious time.

Everyone else is falling asleep quietly. Elysia just poked her head up next to me She will slip into her dreams soon (hopefully!)

The ambient music is vibrating … and I’m back with some random thoughts…

Nice to be refreshed by a decent shower, the temperature for the room is just right, I’m slowing down my breathing …

Read briefly on Canonical Theism earlier, looks like a proposal worth some energy especially as I foresee some extra discipline coming for at least 15 weeks while I’m teaching and facilitating the Church History Course in BLC.

Looking forward also to get back to my Master of Theology work which is long over due.

Funny that I got two emails today reminding me that I’m drawn to write more these days, from blurbs to essays, from research papers to whatever needs to be communicated.

Blogging is easier for me. Formal writing … now that takes more effort. But I do feel a sense of fulfillment upon any form of completion.

Human beings are such a strange lot. We shift and change so easily, we are so often undependable, and revolve so much of our lives on our own concerns, and opinions.

Anything, that’s about mercy, justice, and humility are bright little shinning lights that are exceptions, when it’s supposed to be the norm. But the world is not what is is supposed to be … the word “Sin” comes to mind.

But I wonder how many of us are trapped by merely a religious understanding of sin which tends to reduce it to religious observance, and then miss the real consequence of messing up our lives and the lives of others by our choices.

And it comes back to us anyway, whether we are the “sinners” or the ones “sinned against”.

The lead up to Good Friday focused the above themes a little bit more. Easter Sunday shone brightly the power and potential for transformation beyond my imagination.

The Election season was a special interruption for me, there’s still so much I have not managed to process through yet. I think it’s going to take more than the whole year. Some themes will reoccur in my lifetime.

For now, I’m still reflecting on the experience of “zero trust” which is so strange to the environment I am familiar with. The phrase “Politics is dirty” tends to write things off without stepping back to see what people are experiencing in the political process. One thing which struck me is the importance of “Trust”, and the lack of it which is so damaging for society in the long run. And dehumanizing for us as the players in this political theater if remained unchecked.

What is magnified in structures and institutions in the public draws me to think about the personal aspect again and again. We may be able to analyze from a distance, and talk our heads of in opinionated discourse. And the end of the day, what’s going on in public affects one’s personal life so deeply.

I still hear stories and comments which also tells me how for some there is brokenness which is hidden from the public perhaps in the long run will catch up on us. Especially if it’s unattended to. Maybe no one will ever know, no scandal for the papers to write on, no videos for any Youtube craze … but deep down we’re just less then we could have been no matter how many people look up to us.

But it is Easter Monday night … and I don’t want to just dwell on what’s hidden, and what’s broken, what’s sinful, what’s inadequate and what’s wrong.

New hope is here, new paths are possible, new life is available to inject in us a chance for an unknown which is bright, and even beautiful … still scary but not out of a sense of despair but out of a sense of anticipation for surprises, twists and turns of a life of faith, a journey of hope, and a pull of love … reflecting backwards no doubt, but moving forward … step by step.

Elysia is fast asleep now … dreaming maybe.I’m wide awake … centering.